What's the difference between being transgender and a cross dresser?

After the Diane Sawyer interview with Bruce Jenner, I got a private message on Facebook. My friend posed some very interesting questions and ones I’m sure many other people have.

First question: Can you explain what it means to be Transgender vs a Cross Dresser?  I don’t mean any disrespect to any Gay person, but someone started a conversation on Facebook ~ apparently Bruce has said that he likes women but isn’t considered gay.  I thought Transgender was someone wears woman’s clothes, acts like a woman, etc but doesn’t have the surgery.  Someone else just said this is a Cross Dresser.

According to the GLAAD.org website, transgender is defined “An umbrella term for people whose gender identity and/or gender expression differs from what is typically associated with the sex they were assigned at birth. People under the transgender umbrella may describe themselves using one or more of a wide variety of terms – including transgender. … Many transgender people are prescribed hormones by their doctors to change their bodies. Some undergo surgery as well. But not all transgender people can or will take those steps, and a transgender identity is not dependent upon medical procedures.”

The other question asked was, “He still likes women, if he is transgender, does that mean he is gay?”

Well, maybe or maybe not. He said he identifies as heterosexual. I found this a little confusing too. Later he said he is still working that out but he was very clear that he has never been attracted to a man and went on to identify as asexual, with a laugh.

What I found important is that labels are just that – labels. What difference does it make if he identifies as heterosexual or homosexual? He will work that out.

The difference between sexual orientation and gender identity?

“Sexual orientation is who you go to bed with. Gender identity is who you go to bed as.”