What's the Big Deal, Dude?
I was in the international arrivals hall at Charles de Gaulle Airport in Paris yesterday when I heard the insistent barking of a large dog who could be heard clearly from behind the closed doors and above the din of announcements and reunions.
After a few minutes, the vocal canine emerged from customs with his entourage.
Two humans were pushing two Huskies in large kennels on casters. One dog was completely silent. The other kept up the cadence of barking while his owner tried in vain to shush him.
I imagine that he was reunited with his family after flying as cargo.
I found the contrast in the two animals' behavior interesting. They both had the same experience, but one had a different—more stressful—reaction to it.
“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.”
—William James
It reminds me of humans. Yes, of course I know that dogs aren't human, but you have to admit the comparison holds up. Two people who share the same experience can come away from it with different interpretations, different reactions.
The quiet dog may have been just as stressed, but he didn't show it. Or he may be looking at his brother thinking, "What's the big deal dude?"
In any case, it helps if we give ourselves and others compassion and grace to process their emotions. Knowing that we have support can make a big difference in how we come out of a stressful experience and how we live with the memory of it in the future.
Kelly McGonigal, a stress researcher at Stanford, has found that it's not the stressful situation that makes the biggest impact; it's our perception of it that does.
Check out this TED she did ten years ago: How to Make Stress Your Friend.