What's been holding up your success.

 If you are reading this, it's very possible that right now, you feel "stuck."

I know the feeling, and I too was once ‘stuck.’

Basically, it’s the feeling that your idea of success, in all its grandeur, is for some reason eluding you right now.  My clients have all been there and overcome this. And so have I. 

No matter what, to make this easier for you, I did tell you what being stuck boils down to: Fear and self-doubt. 

That’s right: fear and self-doubt are the difference between can and can’t.  

So how about we unpack these for you? That’s what today’s article is about. 

Fear is a giant succubus and is easy to spot as it shows up as arguing for your conditions and resources as your observed source of limitation. 

You’ll say, for example: 

No one can really take off in the midst of a Covid crisis/ economic depression.

I don’t have the time to really dedicate to my dreams. 

I’ve already tried and failed. What more proof do you need?! 

I have already done everything. 

I don’t have the money to really go the distance with this. 

Did you know that most businesses fail? This is too risky. I have a family and two cats to support. 

Someone I know tried something similar and nobody bought it/ it didn’t pay their bills/ they ended up in the poor house. 

I don’t have the contacts/ personality for this thing I really want. 

See? Fear sucks. 

Similarly, here’s what self-doubt looks like: 

I don’t know how to do this.

I have never done anything like this.

I am not like people who are successfully doing this.

Everyone would make fun of me for attempting this. 

Who am I to go for immense success? I mean – is that even important?

I know – your brain is torturing you with this stuff all the time and when it isn’t, your mother is. 

 If you are not rock solid in your mindset, you will buy into these and go no further. 

Here’s the cold hard truth: you cannot create a new and exciting future from the emotional place of fear and self-doubt. We need to shift that. 

Today I'm going to show you how to overcome that fear and self-doubt. Before we jump into today's lesson -- take a moment right now to comment below and tell me you have been going for with all your might, how you have tried to solve it or create it and what is still in your way/ where are you still stuck. 

Did you do that?

Don't skip this. Reach out to me, take five minutes to write me a clear and concise note and know that I will read it and come back at ya with all my might. 

…

Done? Great. 

As promised, today I am going to teach you a REALLY COOL technique right now to help you work through your fearful thoughts and doomsday scenarios each time.  

Does that sound like something you could use?

OK. Then I will share it with you. I call it the pause principle. Here’s how it works – next time you encounter something that seems to you like a challenge: PAUSE.  

Pause for 15 seconds. In that pause, ask yourself three questions. 

Is this thing I fear or doubt the problem, or is the problem my reaction to that thing? Is it the thing I am worried about or is it my anger, my suspicion, my un-collaborativeness, my stopping in my tracks?

Is there any other way to see this? For example – from another person’s perspective? A person who IS going for it, perhaps?

What is the opportunity here? You will see in this one that there is always a way to see that which you think is happening to you as something that is happening for you. 

Now that I have laid this out - I urge you to write it down. Go ahead – screenshot this. Then print it out and carry it around in your wallet.  

Use the pause ALL DAY EVERY day. Use it next time your partner says: we need to talk. Use it next time Trump does something wacky. Use it to even find your way to see the Covid crisis in a way that is conducive to possibility. It works every time.  

If you are willing to use the pause principle to help yourself soothe your way out of a stressful downward spiral of thoughts, you can and will come out ahead of this. Maybe not everyone will, but anybody can. 

Let me give you an example of how taking the PAUSE plays out. Take my own fiancé, Ryan Krogh. 

In March, Ryan lost his job. His instinct? Sue the company, freak out, worry. 

Instead, he paused. 

1.     Is the problem the problem, or would my reaction (such as freaking out) be a bigger problem? Ryan realizes quickly there is nothing he can do about losing the job. In fact, the whole company basically folded. What’s the point rallying against something that is a done deal?

2.     Is there any other way to see this? Thinking about this point, Ryan got really honest with himself and realized that yes, there was. For example – that it’s fine because he has me and could use a break. Or, as another example, that he could choose to see this as good fortune since he was actually having a tough time working for a company that was struggling and not aligned with his values. 

3.     Is there an opportunity? Once Ryan worked through questions 1+2, he could see more clearly that in fact, there were great possibilities that came with his newfound freedom. He could work for multiple companies now that he had no conflict of interest, for example. And he would have a lot of free time to start working on that book he’s been hoping to write. 

Today, 4 months later, Ryan is rockin’ and rollin’. Isn’t that awesome?

(hi, Ryan)

....

This Friday, I'll give you some more shortcuts so you can take a leap with your life. You will have to sign up for my newsletter to get those, so -I encourage you to do so.

After that email, my goal is to get you to stop being pushed by fear and start being pulled by your way more exciting and useful vision of the superstardom you want and deserve. 

No matter what you are trying to solve for, I’m telling you, whatever you’ve tried is all good and fine, but you have not yet done everything. You have not yet identified all that is in the way, nor created a crystal-clear vision ahead. 

 And there is still time.