What is your vision for the future?

Welcome to Swag-HER!: Your Career, Your Way, a newsletter for professional women and their allies! We’ll explore how to break through the barriers to your success, making space for the career - and life -? you want.

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I’ve been thinking a lot about the future lately. I just spent two exhilarating days at the Kellogg Global Women’s Summit. This year’s theme was “Own What’s Next,” and our inspirational speakers energized the 650 women in the audience, leading up to a closing keynote interview with Oprah(!) by our Dean Francesca Cornelli. As a faculty member, alumna, speaker, and co-leader of this event, I’ve never felt prouder.?

Of course, that’s not the only reason why I’ve been thinking about what’s ahead of us. The presidential election (and a large number of down ballot races) is an inescapable part of life right now, inspiring many of us to reflect on what kind of world we’d like to live in. What is your vision of the future? What kind of opportunities will you have? What kind of opportunities will the young women and girls in your life have??

In 2018, I wrote a piece for Ms. called “This is Our Moment to Act.” Rereading it today, I wished more had changed in the six years since it was published. There’s still so much to do. There’s a wise quote from Albert Einstein that says, “To look to the future we must first look back upon the past. That is where the seeds of the future were planted.” Said another way, in order to understand where we’re going, we have to know where we’ve been.?

The more things change, the more they stay the same??

When I was 29, I bought a condo in Chicago. When I received the contract, I was shocked. I was repeatedly referred to as “Ellen Connelly, a spinster.” This was 1990, not that long ago. And yes, I did have a cat. Back then, the idea of a woman owning their own home and living alone without her father or husband being the “real” owner was novel. Real estate contracts had clearly not considered that a single woman would become a homeowner. Eventually the term transitioned to “unmarried woman,” then “unmarried person.”

The word “spinster” has an interesting history of usage. It dates back to the 14th century, and was originally used to describe any woman who spun wool or yarn for their trade. Spinsters were women with their own business and their own money, and yes —?many of them were unmarried. Gradually, “spinster” became shorthand for “unmarried woman,” and by the 17th century, “spinster” was being used in legal documents like my contract. I don’t think the word has a male counterpart. There is a conclusion implied, a “time’s up” for marriage. And through much of Western human history, getting married was seen as a top priority for women — second only to becoming a mom.

Today, the single, independent woman has gone from a rarity to far more frequent. More women than ever are single by choice and by circumstance. More than half of American women are currently single. Some predict that by 2030, approximately 45% of women between the ages of 25–44 will be both single and childless. Advances in our career opportunities and more control over our bodily autonomy have given us the ability to create the lives we want instead of limiting ourselves and our dreams.?

But not everyone is happy about these developments. We’ve all seen the underlying discontent from some who want their lifestyle choice to be everyone else’s choice. And when women don’t live up to gendered expectations, you can expect the same old tune.?

Tap into your inner protagonista?

In 2016, Hilary Clinton became the first woman to become a major party candidate for President. That path was carved for her by many incredible women, and without Clinton’s nomination, we may not have seen Nikki Haley or Kamala Harris become viable Presidential candidates. Regardless of your views, these women are both accomplished elected leaders that have found bases of appeal —?and yet we can see the double bind in action as these high-achieving women are attacked for their likability or competence. They’re called “bird brain,” “nasty,” and worse. It’s an experience that women leaders understand all too well.?

But as historian Laurel Thatcher Ulrich said, “well-behaved women seldom make history.”?

Like the trailblazing women before us, in order to have the future we want, we must find our way to be our own heroine, whom I call the “protagonista.” A protagonista is not born capable and successful. She grows through her experiences. She gives herself permission to let go of expectations of the past that limit her agency and voice. A protagonista learns to embrace her authentic best-yet-imperfect self. As she grows, she finds her courage to take risks, to transform, to reach for her dreams. She carries ambitions for her future and the greater good. The protagonista doesn’t keep her challenges and aspirations to herself. She models the way for the women and girls who follow.?

A future where The Mirrored Door is obsolete?

When I imagine the future, I imagine a world that doesn’t need a women’s summit, where my book feels ancient, and my job as Director of Women’s Leadership is no longer necessary. My vision of the future is one where women leaders can own what’s next through how we lead, bringing a “take care and take charge” standard of leadership, instead of command and control. The higher bar that women are held to now becomes an even bar with men, and in doing so, leadership is elevated.?

In my vision, women and men share the mic. Space is yielded equally from voices and ideas in a meeting room to shared armrests on an airplane. Women’s voices are amplified and men become aware of how their space can limit others. Caregiving is recognized as a societal human responsibility, and public and private institutions work together to ensure we have paid leave, accessible and affordable child care, and flexibility and predictability through policies, benefits, and cultural support. I envision a world where women’s agency, accomplishments, and choices are celebrated by all, and not seen as a zero sum game that diminishes men’s identity. Together, we change our workplaces and our world.??

So I ask you again: What is your vision for the future? What actions will you take to create a new future where we all can thrive?

Creating the future we want takes intention. It requires us to reflect on the stories we’ve inherited and actively decide which ones we’ll carry forward—and which ones we’ll leave behind. We have the power to reshape narratives, not only for ourselves but for those who come next. Progress isn’t always linear, but every step we take matters. We can make a difference in the conversations, the culture, and our careers. And now, maybe our country. Our future depends upon it.?

Calling all women leaders and allies! Join me December 10, 2024 in Houston, TX for a special event! I’ll be teaching a one day course for Rice University’s Executive Women in Leadership — and I want YOU to be there. This is a fantastic opportunity to dig deep, meet other leaders, and to learn how to break through your mirrored door. Click here to learn more!

I’m so grateful for your readership and support of my work. I hope you’ll share Swag-HER with the women in your life! Make sure you never miss an issue by clicking “Subscribe” in the upper right-hand corner.?

I celebrated The Mirrored Door’s first birthday on October 10, 2024! Writing this book has changed my life. It has given me the opportunity to help other women step through the mirrored door, and has connected me with so many incredible individuals. If this book has meant something to you, I would appreciate you leaving a review on Amazon. It will help others discover the book and spread its message. Can you help??

Haven’t read it yet? Click here to get your copy of The Mirrored Door: Break Through the Hidden Barrier that Locks Successful Women in Place! Winner of the 2023 NYC Big Book award, it's the perfect gift for the professional woman in your life.?