What Are Your Values? These Are Mine
What are your values? Have you ever set aside time in your life to work them out, or have they emerged on their own?
In this article I'll share mine and in the process hopefully spark your own thinking a bit.
First to say that if you'd prefer to listen to a podcast, I've recorded an episode on this topic on my podcast here that explores many of the same issues:
So, in terms of my own values, I have three:
Humans are brilliant; Curiosity; Life is better when you choose.
I've arrived at them both over a long time of thinking about the world and my place in it- and also more recently I've thought about them in a more focused and concrete way, supported by my coach, Robbie Swale.
Note that these are of course not the only things that are important to me- but I think they are the core ones. I expect them to change and adapt over time (or at least for my articulation of them to change and adapt) as I grow as a person and encounter more of the world and more of myself.
To explain each in turn:
1- Humans are brilliant
I find human beings, both as individuals and as a collective, a constant source of wonder.
As I am learning more and more about coaching, I realise it makes sense I am attracted to the profession as I love learning what makes people tick and helping them to follow their dreams.
I am impressed by the adaptability, creativity and compassion of human beings.
Of course I know that humans have the capacity to do bad things as well and I see all sorts of ways in which humans harm each other and harm the planet.
However, that's not the main filter I choose to use to view the world and the place of humans in it. I think it is better to see humans as a force for good and to emphasize the positives and the progress that humans make, as individuals and together- and that having this approach will lead to a better future for us all.
There is so much negative news out there- I'm lucky that my wife runs a positive charitable news site, so I get a decent diet of positive stories in my life.
My interest in this particular value also extends to the fact that I see individuals as being of great worth and through my work I try to help people see the unique contribution that they can make to the world.
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2- Curiosity
For a long time I've been proud of the fact that I'm a curious person.
I've never seen learning as just about passing exams. I want to read around a subject and learn about everything that I find interesting.
Living and working abroad has given me a fantastic opportunity to indulge my curiosity but I am naturally curious wherever I am.
I also really value other people who are curious and passionate about things- it doesn't matter to me whether I am passionate about the same things, just that I enjoy that they have passion. Again it is something that has attracted me to coaching.
I believe that if I am/we are curious, it helps us be grateful for the world. I try to be grateful for what I have and I've been working on being more in the moment (I think a more challenging aspect of being a curious person is that I sometimes feel like I've lacked focus) to help me be more grateful for what I have right now.
Another thing I like about curiosity is that I believe it shows us that the world is complicated and people are complicated in all sorts of ways that we might not have realized at first. I sometimes get frustrated when people think that there are simple solutions to problems that, due to curiosity, I see as multi-faceted and difficult. I also think that being genuinely curious about people teaches me that everyone has a unique perspective on the world- so I am often wary when people think that everyone should think or feel exactly like them.
3- Life is better when you choose
In general I think life is better when people make positive choices about the things that they do and I try to live my life like this.
I've made all sorts of mistakes in my life. I've had failures and difficult times. But I'm proud that with every big thing I can remember, I've made choices rather than letting life pass me by or feeling that I had to go down a particular path that wasn't working for me, for too long.
Of course, not everyone has the same options in life. Some people are more lucky than others- and I think I've had a lucky life. Some decisions are very difficult and it can be impossible to know what is the 'right' answer. However in general, if people can make decisions, rather than feeling that they 'have' to do things or experiencing their own life as a passenger, I believe it is better for the individual and ultimately better for the world. Again, this is something that I love that I can help people to do, through coaching.
I hope that my examples help you think about what your own values might be, or to reaffirm them if you have already worked them out.
How do they guide your life? I would love to hear about your values and why they are important to you.
Alex Swallow is a coach, The Influence Expert and author of 'How To Become An Influencer'. A free copy of the book and many tips about growing your influence can be found at?www.theinfluenceexpert.com. You can join his online course, 'How To Network' free?here. You can also see his viral LinkedIn post '100 LinkedIn Articles- Key Lessons'?here.
Executive Coach | Creator of The Coach's Journey | Author of The 12-Minute Method Series
3 年Love these reflections, Alex, and that you've done this work. For me, the absolute key moment in realising how important values were relates, in some ways, to your third value. I heard Fred Kofman say that even when we choose, we can't control the outcome. But we can control whether we have lived our values: we can always choose that. When I heard that was when it finally clicked for me why values were so important: they give us the possibility to be at peace with ourselve regardless of what happens.
CEO Freedom to Learn, Confidence Coach, Trainer and Facilitator
3 年I just read this Alex. Thank you for sharing it. I think knowing our values, and knowing what we do to experience them can be incredibly useful for making humans even more brilliant - enlightening for the choices we make too... and I'm curious....(hehe) how did you come to know these were your top 3?