What your shower pan tells me about how you pay people.

I had an epiphany while cleaning my shower pan. And it came about after a harmless "bet" I made with my wife. She asked me last night (Saturday evening) to clean the shower 'tomorrow' (Sunday). "Got it. Too easy." I quipped, and began doing the prep work, much the same I do when a client hires me as a consultant.

I began by understanding the problem. She said it was 'dirty', so I examined it. (It was.) Then, I researched the type of shower pan we had. (BTW, there are four different types: acrylic, fiberglass, custom tile and composite. Who knew.) Next, I researched the best cleaner used for ours as well as some best practices. Finally, before going to church on Sunday morning I put down some pre-treatment. And after we got home I cleaned that out and applied some base cleaner and let it soak. At half time I was headed upstairs when my wife remarked about me finally getting started and that it was going to be harder than I knew. I saw my opportunity and made a bet: that I'd be done and back down to see the end of the football game. She agreed.

When I came down before halftime was over (in under 15 minutes), her disbelief was clear as she went upstairs. And despite her initial doubt, she conceded that it was clean. When she asked me how I did it, I told her how it began last night with research and prep. This morning, I charged up the super-scrubber hand-wand thingee and put down some pre-treatment. After a few hours, I washed it out and put down the cleanser. Then, when it came to execution I went upstairs all I had to do was use the gadget with the right cleanser and the grime came right up. She was mad and said, "that's not fair. you didn't win!"

That got me thinking about how many times people hired me as a consultant to come in and fix (or "clean") something that they haven't been able or willing to do for some time. Towards the end of every engagement, they ask something along the lines of, "How'd you do all that?!" As I show them the things they don't see - the prep work, the due diligence, the research, the application of my tools - they mutter something about how it didn't take that long and feel that they shouldn't pay what was already agreed. Sadly, this happens more times than you'd like to think.

Back to my bet. So, I asked my wife a line of questions that I have to use with these types of clients. It starts out with understanding why she didn't think it was fair, and the answer is always something like, "it didn't take you as long as it would take me." I pull on that thread and ask why would they expect me to take the same amount of time to do something if I put in more work upfront, had better tools and more skill with this type of "cleaning". Once she (or they) cede that it shouldn't take me the same amount of time it does her (them), I ask why doing things smarter, faster, and better makes it "not fair". The answer always devolves into, "I could've done that myself", so I ask, "Why didn't you?" At that point, it's funny watching them try to make a circular argument. "You did what I asked you to do, faster than I ever have, and with better results, so therefore I shouldn't pay you what you told me you charged because had I known what you knew and had your experience, tools, and skills I maybe could've done it, too. If I wanted to." Or something.

So that got me thinking about certain types of managers who call on someone else to do a job only to be upset when that job gets done smarter, better, faster by that person. They get angry because the person was not incompetent. It sounds crazy, I know. So I wonder if there's a way I can ask a person what their shower pan looks like before agreeing to work with them. Just a thought.