What Are Your REAL Values?

One of the most important aspects of an organization is its values. In job interviews, candidates may be asked about how they align with the company’s values. In advertisements, values are often the central focus. Values are what define an organization’s culture and make it stand apart. Values can make or break an organization. Lived values can elevate an organization. Unlived values, those that just show up on a website or a wall at headquarters, serve no purpose. However, the role of values does not stop within the work environment.

We spend so much time talking about organizational values, but what matters the most is our own core Values. It is very difficult to lead and live the values of an organization unless you know and understand your own Values. Your values are the most important aspect of who you are. They define what matters to you, what you care about, how you work towards your goals, and how you live your life. Your Values are what determine your actions and outcomes. A person who lives a great set of Values is someone that people will look up to and want to associate with. So then, what are your real values?

You might be tempted to say generic characteristics such as honesty or excellence. Don’t get me wrong, these are great values to have, but are these your REAL Values? Or are you just repeating rhetoric that you hear others claiming? Your REAL values are the values that are showing up in your life. If you cannot show me where a specific value is showing up in how you act, then that is not your value–yet.

If you value something, you will fight for it, defend it, and protect it. Now, what values, your personal life’s rules, are you willing to fight for, defend, and protect? Your real Non-Negotiable Core Values are so important that you would move heaven and earth looking for them if you lost them. That is why we call them Values. We value them. You cannot live in peace without these Values. These Values define your principles and standards of behavior– they define what is important in your life. They determine how you work towards your targets and goals and how you see, connect to, and treat other people. They are the foundation for your relationships with other people.

Discovering your Values requires you to reflect on what you hold most important. It involves identifying people you consider to be heroes in your life and understanding why you see them in such high regard. By reflecting on the Values that you think these role models embody and selecting the ones that truly mean something to you, you create the first draft of your core Values. To truly find your Values, you need to establish a narrative for each of them, placing yourself as the steward of the Values. By putting into writing how you will embody the Value, you holistically adopt it.

For example, one of my heroes has always been my grandfather. He was a patient and sincere man who valued and treated everyone around him with respect and love. The Value of his that resonated most with me was Respect. And so, I crafted the following narrative for myself, which I adopted and have been striving to follow ever since:

RESPECT

I see all people as equal. I value other people’s opinions, appreciate their beliefs, and recognize the importance of their priorities.

Notice that I said “been striving to follow” rather than “have followed it.” This is because there have been moments where I have struggled to live it to its full potential. However, that does not mean it is not one of my real Values. There are going to be times when we slip up. We are human. If we inadvertently make a decision that does not align with our Values, all we can and need to do is notice it, acknowledge what happened, and fix it fast. Constantly reflecting and working to uphold them is what makes our Values truly our Values.

At the same time, it is important to remember that Values come with a peculiar characteristic: only you truly know whether you are living them or not. You can convince others and sometimes yourself that you are truly living your Values. However, for them to truly be effective, you need to constantly evaluate every action of yours to ensure that they really do embody your Values. Hence, it is up to us whether we take the time to find and truly live our real Values.

To get started, there is a great resource available at www.valuesworksheet.com that can help you discover and review your Values.