What is Your Philosophy of Life?

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.” Viktor E. Frankl

As I am preparing a workshop on purpose and mindfulness for a group of colleagues in my job, one thought keeps striking my mind. Why is it that two people doing the same thing, with the same resources and the same boss, one hates what he does and does the minimum amount of effort to deliver what is required, whereas the other one does it with passion making an impactful difference? What is the main difference between these two persons?

Viktor Frankl was a prisoner of a concentration camp, where all his family was killed by the Nazis. Looking for reasons to survive during that horrible experience, Frankl sought to find what made the difference between those who wanted to survive and those gave up the willing to live. He said that “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

Philosophy of Life

As Viktor Frankl did, the more I research and collect my own life experiences, I always reach the same conclusion. It is not the situation what necessarily makes it easier or more difficult for people to react differently, but two essential elements within themselves: their philosophy of life and their capacity to find enjoyment in what they do. Let me explain.

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines Philosophy as “a particular set of ideas about knowledge, truth, the nature and meaning of life, etc.” or “a set of ideas about how to do something or how to live”. The philosophy is life is then the outlook of life and its events. It is our own framework of reference to assess what happens to us, regardless of what is actually happening. To put it in simple words, the philosophy of life is the lenses through which we see the world. So, why would this make a difference between the two people doing the same thing, one living miserably and the other enjoying the experience?

As a framework, the philosophy of life is at the same determined by the most important source of information, guidance and energy that a human being can rely on: purpose. It may sound esoteric, but it is not. When someone is doing a job with a clear purpose of his life and a philosophy that allows him to learn from the experience two essential things happen. The first one is the ability to face the challenges, and the second one is the capacity to work in the necessary skills to avoid making those challenges overwhelming or boring, but rather enriching experiences. In doing so, this person is automatically different to the one who attributes his misfortunes to those same challenges.

The difference, then, between these two people is not in the situation that they are facing, but the way the see it and respond to it. Some people use attitude and philosophy interchangeably, but they are not the same thing. Philosophy is a collection of responses and attitudes which we equip ourselves with in order to see life with more hopeful and faithful lenses. At least four elements are important to take into account in our philosophy.

The first one is our capacity to discover and define genuinely and authentically who we are and we want in life. This is our purpose. Here I am using a circular definition: our philosophy is defined by our purpose, and at the same our philosophy determines that purpose.

The second element to take into account within our philosophy of life is our unbiased disposition for learning. This means that regardless of the situation or people around us, we will see that situation as a constructive experience from which we will get feedback and which will increase our wisdom.

The third essential element is working in our skills to match the challenges at hand and those to come. People blaming specific situations of their misfortunes are missing a critical opportunity to increase their knowledge and skills in order to be better prepared to face those challenges. On the other side of the spectrum, we find people who welcome crises, difficulties and challenges, because it is only then that there is a strong motivation to learn and increase the skills. As explained by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi in his book “Flow”, when our skills are higher than the challenges, we tend to get bored, and therefore it will be necessary to seek other activities that keep our intrinsic motivation in the process of problem-solving (this could be looking for another job, getting more responsibilities in the current job, or simply finding a way to make the usual tasks with a higher degree of complexity). On the other hand, when the challenges are higher than our skills, we might get anxious and withdraw. What makes the difference is not the challenges per se, but the skills we use.

The fourth element within our philosophy of life is using constant feedback and observation from the environment in order to test our knowledge and skills, and self-assess our constant growth and development as individuals. When you increase your skills in order to become an entrepreneur (which becomes the challenge matching your skills), then you get feedback in order to know whether your idea has traction and, if not, what needs to be done. This is a reinforcing cycle that allows you to understand where you are standing in terms of your growth.

Enjoyment in Life

Philosophy is then is the first component within ourselves that allows us to better respond to the situations that we face. The second component is the capacity to find enjoyment in our experiences.

Reinhold Niebuhr created the Serenity Prayer: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

I would have to add that wisdom no only to know the difference, but even more important wisdom and capacity to find enjoyment in the process is what makes life interesting. If we can change something, only by finding enjoyment in the change process is that we will stay intrinsically motivated, engaged and will keep moving forward and connected to it. If we cannot change something, then finding within it those things that can make a difference will help us find enjoyment in it.

Enjoyment is very different from pleasure. Enjoyment is long term, purposeful and action oriented. Typically, people find enjoyment doing activities over which they have some control or influence: a trip to the beach, writing a book, playing a sport, creating a business resulting from a creative process, etc. However, the world doesn’t always enough opportunities as to find enjoyment in these circumstances. It is a rough world out there and we end up working under the rules and within the constraints set by institution and people outside of our control. So, it is then, when we cannot control what is happening and the situation, when we can exercise our freedom and power to decide how we are going to find enjoyment out of that situation.

Real Life Example

Two assistants are working for the same boss. The boss asks them to help them prepare the budget for his unit. Neither of the assistants know anything about budgeting. One of them curses the boss, the work and avoids doing it because she wasn’t hired to do that. Actually, she thinks that it wasn’t even stated in her job responsibilities. She hopes the boss finds someone else to that job, or even forgets the request. The other assistant takes immediate action. She doesn’t know how to budget and feels anxious because she doesn’t have the skills, yet she sees this as a unique opportunity to learn a something new, update her capacities and make herself more valuable. She asks her boss for some time off to read and learn about budgeting, or even his guidance in the matter. At the end, she learns how to do it, she does it, and finds enjoyment in the process.

At the end, the difference is not the situation or the people around the assistants, all of which are out of their control and influence. Their philosophy of life and their capacity to find enjoyment is what truly makes the difference.

Questions

What are the most complex and difficult situations you are facing at this moment in your personal and professional life?

Very private question: Have you blame the “system”, the “environment” or “others” for what is happening to you and the coming of those situations?

What is your philosophy of life? How does your purpose shape your actions? From whom and what are you learning? From whom and what situations could you learn more, but not using at this moment?

What are the capacities and skills you need to increase in order to match the challenges you are facing?

Finally, how do you plan to find enjoyment in the challenges you are dealing with?

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 About the Author: Enrique Rubio is an HR Professional at the Inter-American Development Bank. He is an Electronic Engineer and a Fulbright scholar with an Executive Master’s Degree in Public Administration from Syracuse University. Enrique researches and writes about leadership and HR and seeks to explore the overlaps of productivity and leadership in the business and non-profit world. Enrique is also a competitive ultrarunner.

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