What Are Your Pet Peeves?

We all have our pet peeves. I’d like to throw out a few of mine. Let’s see if yours are similar or not.

Cheaters. They may be business associates or clients, friends or family, sports competitors, fiduciaries or any number of people in your life who lie, cheat or steal. I keep an open mind and am always open to learning of mitigating or extenuating circumstances, but bottom line, if they are guilty it fits into the pet peeve or worse category. Your word is your bond and once breached is almost irreparable. Keep your promises. Fortunately, most of the people in my life do not present those issues, but we all need to be vigilant. Con men are some of the world’s best salesmen.

My Dad once told me that many of the most honorable people are diamond and scrap metal dealers. If that sounds ludicrous, think about the fact that they operate in a network. If word gets out that they cheated, they get blackballed and can never operate again in that industry.

Before hiring or dealing with anyone, I do background checks. They can save you a lot of grief.

In the 2018 global financial crisis, guess who were the worst perpetrators of predatory and fraudulent lending? They had to get bailed out by the government after hundreds of thousands of people lost their homes to foreclosure and we came close to a second Great Depression.

Among the worst perpetrators were revered names like Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley, Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers, Deutsche Bank, Barclays, Merrill Lynch, Countrywide Financial, Wells Fargo, Bank of America, AIG, Wachovia and many others. a lot of grief can been avoided by examining what you are signing. Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac were put into conservatorship, wiping out $20 Billion in stakes in the two government backed lenders.

According to CNN, “The Fed failed to stop the flow of toxic mortgages that would rot through the core of the nation’s financial institutions. Median household net worth is still below where it was in 1998. There is still a dearth of affordable housing.”

JP Morgan had to bail out Bear Stearns (for $2 a share). In 2009, the government had to inject $787 billion into the financial system in an effort to save jobs. The Dodd Frank Wall Street Reform and Consumer Protection Act was passed in 2010 which the current administration is trying to dismantle. Also created was the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau which is now in the process of being eviscerated.

Jacob Lawrence, War Series: The Letter, 1946

I hate litigation. Remember, litigation is generally a failure of diplomacy. It is the personal and commercial equivalent of war. It will go on for years and is most often won by the side with the greatest war chest, staying power and political connections. Never mind the merits of the case. We may have one of the finest legal systems in the world, but it is far from perfect and yes, we do have crooked judges even on the Federal level.

We reversed rulings by one Federal judge in Dallas by appealing to the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals in New Orleans. He apparently didn’t like my Yankee accent and had local “friends.” He also tried to impose Rule 11 where we would have to pay the legal bills of a Fortune 500 defendant.

Confidentiality Agreements can be instruments of abuse. Be sure that the information to be held confidential is named in writing when disclosed.

If you tell someone you’ll call them right back, do it! If you can’t, somehow notify them.

One of my other peeves is prejudice. We have made a lot of progress within my lifetime. I was an army officer accompanying a African American fellow officer to lunch at a Howard Johnsons in Louisville, KY. They said as we entered, “we don’t let no N***** in here." He restrained me from throwing a steel napkin holder through their mirror.

“I’ve either been blackballed at some “good” clubs or didn’t bother to apply. Years later one which rejected me called me to see if I’d like to join and I respectfully declined. It appears that they were too restrictive for their own good. Now they are scrambling for members.

Tip generously. Waiters and waitresses often work on the margins.

Too many rogue clergy, business people, doctors, teachers, police, the military and others in positions of power are guilty of abusing it through sexual harassment and other offenses. Get rid of the casting couch and other forms of extortion. Also, in the age of camera phones and recorders, don’t put yourself in compromising situations. Sheer optics can be damning. Try not to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

My belief is that whenever you refuse to hire anyone on the basis of ethnic or sexual discrimination, you incur a cost. Passing on the most qualified people puts you at a severe disadvantage to your competitors.

Two movies I highly recommend are Green Book and On the Basis of Sex.

I had one of my directors removed from my board years ago for being abusive to our employees, waiters, phone operators, etc. He was recommended by a prestigious investment bank who had done a private placement financing for us. I told them about his unacceptable behavior. They said if you feel a need to, get rid of him. He had been a very senior financial executive for two Fortune 500 companies and was livid when I did it. Fortunately, that kind of arrogance is waning. I told him that we don't tolerate bullying.

I am a believer in neatness and appealing personal appearance particularly if that employee deals with customers or the public face to face. Bad teeth are a turnoff. Body odor goes without saying. These are personal turn offs, not legal ones but they matter.

I have a prejudice against people who display or wear awards they didn’t earn. Did you know that you can wear The Congressional Medal of Honor, Distinguished Service Cross, Silver Star, Bronze Star or other military awards even if you didn’t earn them? The 9th Circuit Court of Appeals said you can as a form of free speech. Doesn’t that diminish the value of the medals to the real recipients?

I have an intense dislike of Gerrymandering by both parties. Please note that this article is apolitical.

I hate constant robocalls, but I don’t know how effective apps are in blocking them or if they would block calls I really want to receive. There is a blocking mechanism on my cell phone.

I dislike companies that refuse to consider new ideas or products because, “We’ve always done it that way.” It is a clear path to mediocrity or worse, failure.

I don’t like ostentation - in homes, cars, clothes, jewelry, social occasions, etc. You can have tasteful affairs without having a Cecil B. DeMille production. Did Imelda Marcos need her 1000th pair of shoes? As Shakespeare said, “Any virtue to excess becomes a vice.”

Oligarchs? Nyet. Bullies? No. Braggards? No. Liars? No. Narcissists? No.

Pollution, global warming and disrespect for our environment get to me. We, our kids and grandchildren will pay the price. We are paying now. Look at the intensity of hurricanes in the Atlantic and Gulf Coast and the fires in California as well as droughts in much of the rest of the world. Look at the melting of the ice caps and presence of waste plastic in land and sea. Global warming and corruption are major causes of out of control immigration.

I’ve always hated the tossing of cigarette butts.

Speculative or inordinate adaption of debt bothers me. Prudent debt can be a very effective tool. Empires have been built by them. Try to live within your means. I also have an aversion to serious gambling. The house wins most of the time.

"Those who do not study history are doomed to repeat it." George Santayana

I like people who admit mistakes as soon as they are aware that they made one. I also like and use appropriate and timely apologies. They are powerful tools. They will not diminish you.

You don’t have to agree with me. Constructive disagreement is healthy.

If you didn’t like this article or parts of it, I apologize.

What do you think?

Ira Friedman