What your partners body language actually means

As one of the world's leading body language experts, I frequently get asked to look at photographs of couples and analyze their body language. One of the main problems with this is the fact that a photograph is is fractional moment, frozen in time. It's a bit like taking a word from a book and asking if it's a good story. Body language, like any other language, requires more than a word to know what the story is about. Movements, actions and speed are all important factors in body language and cannot be observed in a photograph. While certain elements of a photograph can you tell a lot about what's going on, it's not as revealing as a video or live action would be.

I did analyze a couple in three separate photographs on one occasion and instantly spotted a similarity between all three. In each of the photographs the man was in the middle of the frame and the female he was dating, was on the side. The location spoke volumes of their roles in the relationship. He was center of his world (displaying narcissistic traits), whereas she was to his right side on each of the pictures. He was looking at the camera and she was looking at him. As it happens I was correct in my warning that I informed the person about. He was not only self centered and narcissistic, it turned out he was also engaged. She was literally his bit on the side. As depicted in the photographs. These observations were backed up by other factors too but you get the idea of how a single photograph can say so much.

So what are the good signs to look for and what are the red flags? Let's go through them shall we?

Mirroring each others body language is a great sign of having a deep connection. When done unconsciously, the mimicking of each others body language and actions is an open display of love and admiration.

Walking hand in hand. Often shown in romantic movies the side by side walk on the beach, is usually connected to romance but what if one walks in front of the other? That is a big red flag! Other than situations which might require them to do so, or for whatever reason it's not practical, one partner walking on ahead of the other, is a warning sign that they want to go their own way and expect you to keep with them and their desires and direction. Of course if you want to go your own way, thats up to you but don't expect them to look back and follow. You either follow along or break away. The exception to this is when it's done in a way where he's holding your hand the entire time. Like a dominant man leading you to safety. If it becomes too much of a regular thing however, I'd be asking if there's a reason why. If he's not holding your hand and just walking one or two paces ahead (maybe more), then maybe it's time to let him take his path and you go your own way.

Look out for when he's putting his arm around you. Is it when he's asking for something? Or is it when he's walking you somewhere and it's a protective act. Is his arm around you as you're both crossing the road for example, in a caring way or is it around you because he's trying to manipulate you? Take note of the occasions and ask yourself which if either of the two reasons above is more likely.

On the occasions of things like crossing a road, where does he hold you? Is it by the hand? Or is it by the arm? If he grabs you by the forearm or clamps his hand just above your elbow, that is not affection. That is control.

A forehead kiss indicates strong emotional intimacy. It's a hugely powerful connection and shouldn't be underestimated. If he kissed you on the top of the head or the forehead, he has a deep connection.

Putting a pen or finger or other object into their mouth. This will always be one of two things, It's either flirtation or a need for reassurance. it's down to you to asses the situation and make your own mind up. Are they looking at you with a slight smile and flirty eyes while putting the end of a pen or a finger int their mouth? If they are, it's more than likely flirtation. On the other hand, if they insert the end of the pen and look like they're thinking, maybe appearing a little distant, that's more than likely a need for reassurance.

Eye contact is a massive sign of animal attraction. The sexual tension that can be built with eye contact alone can be huge. Prolonged eye contact and regular eye contact when in conversation is a high sign of attraction. Especially if the blink rate is slowed. That's an even bigger sign than the prolonged eye contact. On the flip side, increased and rapid blink rate is high indicator of stress.

Frequent physical contact is another high indication of sexual attraction or a feeling of closeness and connection (or in some instances, a desire to be). Regular touching is a definitive sign of sexual desires and attraction.

A partner pulling away however, is a sign for concern. If you go to touch them and they pull away or don't want to be touched, then ask yourself why. Of course there can sometimes be valid reasons, anything from a menstrual cycle to hot and humid weather. So, with this in mind, figure out how they react to your touch and decide if they like it or not, or if there's something else possibly causing it.

Touching feet is a massive sign of attraction. If they're not touching then just close is equally as much of a sign of attraction too. Watch the feet. They will indicate how your partner really feels. If their feet are constantly touching yours or some part of you, they have deep feelings for you. Even if they're even just close to you, that in itself shows you how they feel. The closer the feet, the closer the couple.

Look for signs of contempt! If you spot that one sided contemptuous smile, the relationship is over. The minute one partner feels contempt towards the other, there's no going back. If you see contempt in your partner, prepare yourself for the inevitable. I'm sorry to say, your relationship has run its course and it's time to move on.

Wrapping their arms around you in public. While this can be seen as a fun and affectionate gesture, it can actually be a sign of a possessive partner. If you walk into a room and they're behind wrapping their arms around your waist, ask yourself why. Is it because they suddenly want to feel close to you? Or is it because they want to demonstrate to everyone in that room (including you) that you're their property? It's also a sign of insecurity. They don't want you to both walk into a room separately. They want it to be seen that you're together, both figuratively and literally.

The good old smile. never underestimate the power of a real smile. It's beautiful to see when another person is smiling at you and it feels even better when it's reciprocated. If the mere sight of someone makes you smile, that tells you everything you need to know about your feelings towards them and if your smile is returned, well, it speaks for itself.

I hope you enjoyed this article and found it useful. If you'd like to know more about body language then my best selling book 'HOW TO TELL IF SOME IS LYING' is filled with body language lessons (link below) and I also have a YouTube channel where you can learn more too.