What is your #PandemicResolution?

Have you been experiencing unprofessional behaviors by others, recently? It is really easy to worry that a pattern may continue, and, for some, have been going on for some time already. Prior to this Zombie Apocalypse, I found myself becoming wearier and wearier by unkind words and actions, and concluded that a leopard may not be able to change its spots.

Then, an act of kindness took place. From a source of recent pain and exasperation.

Maybe it is because the protocol called for this act. Nonetheless, it got me thinking about the fact that we are all prone to certain patterns of behavior. Until we are not. One thing that this pandemic has revealed is that we are all on roller coaster rides, and no, we are NOT on one together. We are on our own roller coasters, be it the sleek ones that turn you upside down at a MegaAmusementPark, or one on a wooden track at a county fair. Sometimes, it stops whilst you are hanging upside down, and other times, you find the nearest place to lose your lunch after disembarking.

The one universal truth is that we are doing a lot more of looking at ourselves in the mirror, and the grey roots are growing out, the beards are taking over the landscape of our faces, and we are beginning to see things in ourselves we hadn't noticed before. Like, the fact that SomeGoodNews with John Krasinski can cause leaky eye syndrome (thanks for sharing that expression, Christopher Kurtz!) and that it can be contracted from the internet. Or, that we had no idea how little we remember 5th grade math. Or, that the typing by the spouse on their computer while working in the next room could suddenly sound like the clacking of a speeding train ready to go off the rails (as you try to keep your own composure to avoid your own derailing.)

Suffice it to say that I didn't give someone the benefit of the doubt because there was no doubt that I could only expect to be judged unfairly or inaccurately. And, I was proven wrong. One act. Does this mean that I should expect that we will be able to journey to Burning Man together some year in the future? No, I am not on crack. Things have pretty much gone back to the pattern of unprofessionalism after this act, but here's the thing. This pandemic has made me rethink about giving people a clean slate each and every time. Instead of ducking or putting up a shield to deflect the next meritless accusation, I need to be prepared to extend grace. To be neutral, not expecting the best, necessarily, but certainly not expecting the worst, either. There is nothing to indicate that this person wants to be a kind, compassionate, thoughtful, fair, or courteous individual toward me. But we are in a season of life that would dictate that we should never assume. Does this sound like I am walking around barefoot and wearing flowers in my hair? Maybe. (And, no, I don't own a pair of Birkenstocks, but would probably enjoy trying them out!) But I decided that in order to embrace #DoGoodBeKind (thank you, again, Christopher Kurtz!) I need to give a clean slate every time.

So, my #PandemicResolution is:

ASSUME NOTHING

This is my reasonable resolution. I hope it sticks! I just had a recruiter ring me, and a candidate responded to an email he sent with a very unkind word. It happens. Maybe his wife just stormed out and left him to do homework with three kids. I saw an industry colleague use expletives (not her usual MO) on social media upon learning her elderly parent was not going to win the battle against the disease. We cannot know the context right now of how people are doing, or what triggered "this" reaction. This is mental health awareness month. A lot of people do not know that anger and/or agitation can be signs of depression. And, depression is not just "feeling sad or hopeless". It can simply be an imbalance of hormones or other body chemistries. So, let's cut everyone some slack. This includes giving people the space to back away for awhile. Or, when we are the recipients of them lashing out, being able to seek the broader context and just swipe left on the experience but not the person.

Please save me from all of the links that talk about boundaries, standing up for yourself, not being a doormat, not letting bullies have their way, not indulging narcissists, practicing self-care by social distancing from people who exude toxicity. I am fully aware. I am just sharing a suggestion that maybe we let people in our professional realm who are our bosses, teammates, industry colleagues, job seekers, customer service reps, clients, etc., be recipients of extra care and kindness, especially when unmerited. When I find myself in need, my antidote is reaching out and helping others. You might call this denial or just a bandaid. I call it my survival choice for the indefinite future.

And, I just found this really cool graphic shared by the CDC and Google. It is a great reminder that we must put the oxygen mask on first before assisting others. Ah, may we one day find the skies friendly again. This travel expression made me wistful for yesterday, but hopeful for tomorrow. Here's to hope. And, practicing doing good and being kind. #DGBK

Feel free to connect with me here: linkedin.com/in/joweech and to follow me on Twitter: @joweech I bounce between HR and Talent posts and Tips for Job Seekers. Mostly sharing great content from amazing people!