What are your non-negotiables?

Non-negotiables are the things that you absolutely will not negotiate on. They are the things that are sacred in your life and hold precedent above everything else. They completely align with your core values, your WHY, and your personal mission in this world. They guide each and everyone one of your decisions. In fact, they hold so much power that you refer to them before you even decide how to make a decision. They allow you the ability to protect your inner peace, and maintain ultimate control over your life and your career. They help you move through life in a way that you truly enjoy the journey and aren't just constantly focused on getting from point A to point B.

When I first got started in business I had absolutely no idea what non-negotiables were. The idea that something other than my clients, my schedule, or my boss (when I was in corporate America) was allowed to hold value over my life seemed unfathomable. You see, I was that person that said yes to everything - without even thinking twice. Whether it was an invitation to a party on the weekend or an additional client project, when my plate was already more than full, the answer was always yes. I operated out of a fear that if I ever dared to say no to anyone or anything that it might upset them and they wouldn't like me, or they would think less of me and my capability to get something done. I was constantly running on fumes, and the idea of self-care was something that I attempted to throw in on a Sunday (once a month). Not only did it affect my overall well-being, but it affected my self worth. Because each and every time I said yes, when I ultimately wanted to say no, I lost faith in myself. I questioned why in the world I felt like I had zero control over my life, and I was always at the beck and call of everyone else.

I was two years into my journey as an entrepreneur, when it all came crashing down. I had just wrapped up a client project that ultimately was a complete failure - mainly because of the fact that by saying yes to every single little request regardless of my actual ability to execute on it, led me to my worst nightmare which is all too prevalent in the world of sports: I had completely overpromised and underdelivered. It was in that moment that something had to give. I was exhausted by my own life, completely disappointed in my work product, and unsure of how the heck I was going to redeem myself. I realized that I had started to resent the very dream that had gotten me that far, and questioned why in the world I ever left corporate America. Because the reality was that I was working more hours now living a life where I was supposed to be in control of my own schedule, answering to more people than I could imagine, and simply trying to survive each day. And doing it all without a steady paycheck, 401k, or health benefits...

And for the first time, as everything seemed to come crashing down, I said no - not to anyone or anything but to myself. I said no to the people pleasing, the constant overcrowded calendar, and laundry list of things that needed to be done for everyone around me. I committed to a journey of self-discovery where I could get back to where it all started - as someone with a dream and a passion to truly impact the lives of athletes off the field or the court, while also paving my own path and leaving my legacy along the way.

I took a step back and began to ask myself the deep questions. What is your WHY? What are your core values in life? What are the things that you hold true no matter what?

What are your non-negotiables?

It was almost as if for the first time in my life, I was giving myself permission to actually be in control. To take back the reigns and decide who and what was going to be allowed to holds space in my life. Of course it felt completely wrong. Almost like who the heck was I to think that I was actually allowed to control my own life - instead of everyone and everything around me. After months of asking these same questions day after day, I had answers. And I had a list of non-negotiables that still hold true for me over three years later.

I think that it's easy to get caught up in the world and its demands. To people please to a point that we forget what's actually important to us because we're so focused on what everyone else around us wants and needs. And to lose sight of our dreams, or who we are at the core, because we've ended up so far away from it.

I'm here to tell you that you are allowed to say no. You are allowed to take back control of your life and ultimately decide who and what gets let in. You can pick and choose where you go, what you do, and how you do it. You can say no and then put a period at the end. Without needing to feel like you have to have some sort of elaborate reason or excuse. Because at the end of the day, regardless of what anyone wants to tell you, you have the ultimate control.

Here are just a few of my non-negotiables:

• Daily mediation
• Uninterrupted time with my daughter and husband everyday
• Minimal (to no) work on the weekends
• Permission to rest when necessary
• Completing my morning routine before checking social media or my inbox in the morning