What is your Hell? How to stop fearing human authority, loss or your own power

We cannot be afraid of people, and we cannot be afraid of loss…

Loss of that job, loss of that man, loss of that business, loss of our power…

Or… of not being able to say what we need to say to a person, or being in fear of a person.

Rather watch the video? Go here to watch

A lot of people have dealt with the tyrants in their life… that tyrant at work, that tyrant in your family, that tyrant that’s even in yourself…

The other day I was triggered by an interaction and I keep forgetting that everybody’s not like me, or where I’m at psychologically and in consciousness.

It’s easy to think that it’s obvious how other people should handle situations and that’s not reality.

So I have to give grace for others, because it really gets to me to see others not standing up for themselves, and they just take whatever’s coming at them, and they’re afraid of people, and they’re afraid of loss, or they listen to all opinions outside of themselves and move from false information, and they stay in situations and relationships and situationships when what would change their reality would be the communication within and without themselves.?

What would change is their internal dialogue and energy, and their courage to say what needs to be said in truth.?

I remember when I was around 16 or 17 years old (40 years ago now), I was in college, and I worked at Eastern Michigan University in the “Union.”?

And the Union, as many colleges have, is the place where all the parties, banquets, celebrations, and big events happened.?

I worked on setup crew and we would set up all those big heavy round tables, or big long tables and all the chairs for every event.

One day the crew was complaining about the “boss,” and I was probably complaining with them.

There was some type of injustice that I can’t exactly remember but in our perception, either she wasn’t treating us well, or she was talking to us disrespectfully or it was too much work for our small crew and she didn’t seem to care.

Whatever the perceived injustice was, everyone felt the same way about it.

So, I say, “okay there’s a meeting coming up, let’s get on the same page about what we want to tell her about our grievances, let’s be straight up about what we’re going through and what we would like to change.”

So everyone is on board and agrees to stand up for ourselves in the meeting.

A couple days later we’re in the meeting, and the “boss,” is sitting at the head of the table and me and the crew (around 3 or 4 other people) are sitting around the U shaped table and I can feel the “it’s goin’ down” nervous energy percolating in the room.

At some point in the meeting I go first to talk about what I didn’t like, or what needed to change.

Mind you, I’m 16 or 17 years old, so I have no recollection of what I actually said, or how I actually said it, or what energy I brought to this conversation, but I’m still standing up for this perceived injustice of how “we” felt.

I’m going on about what we “all” think, and I’m waiting for others to chime in, and I say “tell her y’all,” tell her what you wanted to say.”?

I’m thinking… “back me up here…”

And NO ONE says sh*t…

No one spoke their mind or said how they felt.

They kept their heads down while I took the fire.?

I’m standing up for everyone, and NO ONE has my back…

The “boss,” then says, quite perturbed… “I think you need to take a couple days off, it seems like you need a vacation.”?

Well now I’m angry, hurt and let down by everyone, I get up out of my chair and start to leave, but before I walk through the door, I say to the boss… “that’s why nobody likes you anyway,” and I stump off down the hall.

Now, keep in mind I also work in the “bosses,” office as a secretary along with one other woman in the office.

While I’m on “vacation,” the other woman I work with tells me that our “boss,” got in trouble by her own “boss” the day of our meeting.

Now, I wasn’t sure if it was because of me that she got in trouble, but when I was back at work Ms. Paulsen (the boss) apologized to me.

Shock and awe…

That’s the thing about being “afraid” of people…

Communication has to happen, and if you’re a wayshower we can not live as small people.

Again, I know everyone’s not like me, and they didn’t sign up for the path I chose to take.

Everybody’s not telling authority figures about themselves at age 16 or 17.

I get that.

But all through my life, anytime there were any “run ins” with so called authority figures and I said what I needed to say, 99% of the time those interactions ended with hugs, apologies or respect.

I wasn’t afraid to say what I had to say.

I walked away with hugs.

The reality is that interacting with other humans can trigger you to shut your heart down when you’re afraid of them, and the reasons that we’re afraid are many.

It could be past lives haunting us in our memories.

The reason we don’t want to take up our power, and stand up for ourselves could be because in past lives we’ve been burned at the stake, or have been abused or killed for having spiritual gifts or even in this life for having different skin color.

And hell if you’re a messenger of peace like Jesus was, you’re getting your ass beat for existing.

We see how all the quote unquote “saviors,” and “gurus,” of the past were treated and we don’t want to take up our power for fear of others harming us.

If you were shining your light, you were getting taken down a peg or three.

So when you’re out here being a wayshower in these times whether that’s in your business, or in the corporate world, or in your community or just being an example for others in some way, when you’re a leader you have to be able to speak your truth and not fear people, and not fear loss.

You think, “I’m gonna lose this job or this mate if I say what I’m being called to say, or this person is going to attack me if I say what I need to say.”

I was listening to Caroline Myss the other day.

She’s an intuitive and teaches about otherworldly things like soul contracts and speaking to the divine and all the things.?

She’s been around a very long time as a spiritual teacher and speaker.

She was teaching this workshop and she asked her audience, “What is your hell?”

“Is your hell not having a voice, not having food or shelter?”? What is your hell, she asked.

She commenced to tell her audience what her hell was.

?“For me it is the loss of freedom, I cannot comprehend life without freedom… that’s why I never married… it’s impossible for me to think of asking someone permission to make a move. I must’ve been a prisoner (in a past life), because the idea of saying “would you mind if or could I,” I actually gag… I actually feel like there’s a chain around my neck. I was engaged 4 times and everytime I thought, I can’t do this, I won’t be free… it’s the only time I had a panic attack, I cannot compromise where I have to go through another person… no, let’s never check with someone, I must check only with my soul…”

She says, “I’m wired like a crazy person, I cannot let anything interfere with God talking to me… I will have a panic attack… I cannot deal with not being free…”

I understand the sentiment completely about not letting anything interfere with God talking to me either, although my penchant is towards relationships and not away.

I looked Ms. Myss up and she’s a Sagittarius and a Gemini Moon, sooo… yea, the fears of Sagittarius in relationships do have potentials of fear of commitment and confinement, and Gemini likes variety and doesn’t care for boredom or feeling confined either.?

So yea… she got that honest, and I can see why she shows up that way and has those convictions.?

She was being real and I respect that.

In my opinion it is to everyone’s benefit to know themselves as they evolve, and maybe Ms. Myss working on her intimate relationships this lifetime ain’t her thing (and in all fairness the workshop I was watching was from 2022 so maybe things have changed for her) but she sounded pretty convincing about what she’s not gonna do… so IDK…

But she’s helped to transform a lot of people’s lives because she listens to “God.”

Wanna navigate your relationship fears with more grace??

Wanna enhance your leadership & communication based on your astrological makeup??

Check out my tools to help you do that here.?

I want to make mention that when I say “God,” I don’t mean anything religious, you can put the word Love, or “The Force,” or “The Universe,” in there or Unicorns or whatever the hell you want… I’m not stepping on your belief system.

I too agree with not consistently being around people that keep static on the line, where I can’t consistently hear “God’s,” messages and guidance.

So, what is hell for me?

Hell for me is not having a voice, not being able to speak my truth.

And there will be people who see you and say “ooooh, I wanna take her down a peg.”

Because they see you in your light and they’re thinking (sometimes unconsciously and sometimes consciously), “that’s triggering to me and I haven’t been in my power, and I don’t know how to stay there, so I don’t like it when she’s doing it, so let me go try to hurt her in some way.” #hiddenenemies (who aren’t really hidden when you’re tuned in…)

There are people who will try to pass their pain to you, and that’s fine, because if you’re a wayshower, if you’re a leader, you have to know that when you’re shining you just become a bigger mirror for people’s shadows and for their light, and that’s a tricky place to be.

So you have to be willing to have people who are going to put you on a pedestal, to have people who don’t like you at all and wanna take you down a peg, to have people who forget you, to be misunderstood, to have people who revere you, to have people who don’t believe you and want to debunk all that you are.

You gotta get comfortable with the discomfort and let it all be okay.

I always say… people are the way they are, (whether that’s difficult or not) FOR us.

At the end of the day being you is what matters. That’s unconditional love. That’s what I believe “God,” is, period…

So again my learning from being triggered is that… everyone is not like me.

The Libra in me who always wanted harmony, and wanted to come at you with the communication like “Listen, I want this harmony dammit.”

Of course this is before I stopped my people pleasing habit.

And I’m an Aries Moon. Your moon sign represents your soul and your unconscious. It’s your needs and basic urges. It’s what makes you feel secure emotionally.

An Aries moon is not afraid to let you know what they’re feeling. We express our emotions in a direct, assertive way. We’re not into mind games or emotional manipulation, and we don’t like to be “bossed,” around. It’s the position of a leader.

So yea, I have to remember that everyone isn’t like me. I forget that. So I have to give grace because other people’s energetic, spiritual, psychological and even astrological makeup is not the same as mine.

There are those who are ahead of me, those on equal footing, those who are coming along, and those who will not be doing the work this lifetime and that’s all good.

I want to share an exercise for wherever you’re at, because the tyrants show up at your work, the tyrants are maybe in your family, and especially for the tyrant you have within yourself.

We all have a tyrant within. We all use weapons against ourselves especially when we’re closing our heart down.

This world can make you want to close your heart down.

Here’s what I did when I was working in corporate, and here’s what I still do…

So when I was working in corporate, there were always those people or that person that everyone talked about and no one liked, and everyone talked crap about this person and a lot of people were afraid of (intimidated by) this person because this person acted and said things that were “out of pocket,” on the regular.

What I did and what I do is…

#1 I have compassion for this person because somewhere they’re wounded and they’re living from it.?

Maybe their inner child is hurting or something from their childhood is still showing up in this world.?

Or they’re wounded from a broken heart because of whatever happened in their experience from their relationships with their parents or cycles of toxic intimate relationships or abuse from the past or whatever their wounds are.

I have compassion for this person, because I know that when someone is showing up as a tyrant there is insecurity, there is suppressed pain, hurt, anger [insert thing they’re not willing to accept, acknowledge, feel, look at or be with], especially when they want to have power over you, you know there are wounds… it’s Broken Hearts Club…

And I think to myself, how can I be afraid of someone who is wounded.?

Hurt people, hurt people and I’m not afraid of you, cause I know you.?

I know when I see hurt being displayed on the stage.

#2 Recognize that you’re an energy being and that you carry a frequency.

Next, realize that you are pulsing specific energies at any given time.?

When you’re afraid or intimidated by someone else, I want you to imagine that there is this energy coming off of you… there is this energy that you are literally pulsing out to this other person.

You are pulsing your fear to this other person.?

You’re pulsing your guilt.

You’re pulsing your shame.

You’re pulsing whatever it is.

Imagine that, cause that’s literally what’s happening.

You are beaming that energy from your solar plexus & your heart (the seat of your power), and that other person is going to give you just what you’re “asking,” for.

Imagine that what you’re telling them with your energy is, “I’m afraid of you, I fear you, I’m afraid that I can’t speak my truth and say what I feel called to say to you, I’m afraid that you’re going to be mean to me, I’m afraid that you’re going to turn others against me, I’m afraid that you’re going to treat me wrong, and that you’re going to gossip about me.”

Just as an aside, you must be willing to let gossip be okay.

I’ve been the gossiper and the gossipee, and I know how toxic and painful that can be, but it’s got to be okay for you to accept that as a possibility from others, period.

You have to just remember who you are, have compassion for when you’ve been the gossiper, and remember that those things are only an affront to your ego, your Higher Self does not give two farts about gossip.?

#3 Get into your heart and get present in your power.?

Keeping in mind what you might be initially pulsing to this person, I want to invite you to think, “let me stop doing that right now, I’m NOT pulsing that to you.”

The most important part of this is to know that in this moment of you becoming present, you are not assuming what’s going to happen, you’re not catastrophizing, you’re not conjuring up images of what can go wrong, or how things have gone wrong in the past, you’re not trying to fix this relationship, and you’re not trying to stop what’s meant to happen in this moment.

You are present with this moment ONLY. It is your singular focus.

Know that whatever comes in this moment is RIGHT, and that you don’t have to fear this person.

[Note: I am never talking about doing this with belligerent, reckless, blindly angry, hell bent people trying to accost you or threaten you or be “evil” just because. That may require walking away, saying nothing, or however your response shows up (if an ass whoopin’ is in order… well… teehee… hopefully things never come to violence…]

Now… let’s get present…

Drop into your heart.

If you don’t know how to do that, here’s a hack…

Imagine that there’s a stick of butter where your physical brain is (or use your gluten free option), and imagine that there’s this pan that you’re cooking in where your physical heart is and imagine that stick of butter [or whatever you want to imagine] is dropping down into this “pan,” in your heart.

You’re getting out of your mind and into your heart and you want to feel that energy in your heart however that shows up for you.?

Don’t overthink what the experience should be like.?

Whether you feel anything or not, tell yourself you’re on the right track.?

With practice you will feel sensations in your heartspace, it will feel blissful at times, you will know that your Spiritual Team & Higher self are tuned in with you.

Now tell yourself, “I’m choosing to lean into this moment.”

Now with both feet planted firmly on the floor, imagine that heart energy going down through your legs and down into your feet.

Now to ground the energy, if you like, you can imagine roots coming from your feet as if you’re a strong, sturdy stable huge tree, planted firmly in the ground.?

This whole process should only take 60 to 90 seconds.?

But if you need practice and this feels intense, give yourself space to do this when you’re alone first and let it take as long as you need.

Practice and repetition as they say is the mother of skill.

When you let go and you’re just present with the moment, and present with the Source, you shift the conditions “outside,” of yourself.

See, we think “this job is my source,” “this person is my source…”

No, that’s not true.

What’s for you will not pass you by.

The opportunity as you evolve, will come around again and again once you’ve gotten the lesson that those people were trying to reflect to you, and you’ve broken those cycles of unconscious patterns with people, remembering that people are often difficult FOR YOU.

You can watch my video on giving your Villians, Perpetrators, etc their awards on my New YouTube channel here

Or watch my video on “Karma” here

You signed up to be here and fulfill who you’re here to be.

You cannot continue to pulse your fears.

I am not saying that you won’t have them, because you will, it’s remembering in those moments that you have tools to help you navigate life and embrace your fears and use them as power to fuel transformation.

You cannot live your life with the energy of “I need this job, I need this mate, I need this client…”?

They may be great things to have/experience [maybe], but you don’t NEED them.

You’re saying to yourself that those things or people are your “God.”

They are not.

I always like to say “Come Back Home,” or? “Stay Home,” and that means I’m going to come back home to my own power. I’m going to Stay Home, present in this moment, and present in the power.

On the outside, those people will be different to you, or the nudge to leave that environment as an appropriate action will be so powerfully clear to you. But you will cut down on any disrespect. People will not bring that madness to you because you will not be vibing on the same wavelength and because you’re loyal to yourself by respecting yourSelf.

Literally.

You cut down on your expectation of things going bad and things going wrong, over and over and over the more you practice.

Cause what’s meant to happen when you’re present is what is truly meant to happen.

It’s FOR you.

The best things happen when you’re present, even if AT FIRST it doesn’t look lovely, or it’s a little clunky in the beginning.

It’s often those moments of challenge that hold the gold. It’s where the breakthroughs come from.

That person stops disrespecting you. They don’t even come around you with that madness.

Just to be clear, I’m certainly not telling anyone to stay in toxic environments, relationships or jobs where your inner intimacy is stifled or blocked and you can’t hear, see, feel, know which way to go.

Everyone has the FIRST gift… their most dominant “spiritual/psychic” gift…

Yes, we have all the gifts but there is a dominant gift that you have whether that’s clairaudience (and if you’re predominantly clairaudient you’re a born leader, but that does not make you any more “special,” than others).?

My dominating gift is clairaudience.

But there’s clairvoyance, clairsentience, claircognizance and a few others that most don’t really tune into, but anyhoo…

When you can’t receive YOUR guidance, you know it’s time to check in.

Hell for me is seeing people not being able to use their voice, but as I was taught so long ago by those people all those years ago and that I have to keep reminding myself, you can’t stand up for people all the time, you can’t be the mouthpiece for other people.

When those people are ready to take up their power and stand up for themselves, that’s when they’re ready.

I don’t know their spiritual disposition.

I don’t know their energetic blueprint.

I don’t know what they signed up for this lifetime (although I am paid to look into people’s birth charts to find out)...

But I’m not about to be mad and disheartened about where they’re at.?

I’m gonna take myself where my tribe is.

And when I say “where my tribe is,” I don’t mean to say that we need to just go find the people who “get us,” forever and never mix it up with other people.

Cause in Broken Hearts Club (if you want to know what Broken Hearts Club Leadership is about you can read this article here) you need other people.

Other ideas come through people who aren’t just like you, something you didn’t think about, something that triggered you, something that has those wounds in you turn into transformation (pain into power) because you interacted with that person or those people.

It’s the final lesson on earth… RELATIONSHIPS.

And the better we can get at being ourselves, and mastering our gifts, and letting go of all the weapons we’ve formed against ourselves and accepting, and acknowledging that tyrant we have within ourselves…

When we can accept all that we are, that’s when we fly, that’s when we soar, and when things knock you down, give it a minute, and see… oh, you’re back up, she’s flying again… woohoo!?

Your energy and your frequency MATTERS.

It is your superpower.

This world is Broken Hearts Club, and we’re here to heal, we don’t need to shut down. We need to be able to walk with our hearts open and also have the grace of discernment.

We don’t have to allow this world to make us feel like we need to shut our hearts down to navigate our lives and be in relationship with others.?

Don’t be afraid to take up your power Wayshower, cause those you’re showing the way for, need you to do that.

This is Broken Hearts Club Leadership. You are Welcome Here.

Talk soon.

JeeJee