What Was Your Defining Moment?

Have you ever sat down for an important exam and realized you have NO idea how to answer the questions? I am not talking about the classic nightmare where you are taking the college entrance exams in your underwear. I mean real life.

If you were with me in room 208 in the winter of 1982 at Archbishop Stepinac and happened to glance over at the two minute mark – you would have seen the panic in my face. I was a high school freshman and sitting down for the algebra mid-term that would be 25% of my first semester grade.

Not being able to answer the first few on page one, I deployed the strategy of find a few you can answer and build confidence and momentum from there. You see I had failed to study for the exam. As I raced from problem to problem without one I could complete or even begin to solve, I heard the voice of my math teacher Sister Lucy. In reality she is 5 foot tall and very sweet. In my mind right now she was 50 feet tall and shouting in a booming voice her advice from the past couple for weeks “STUDY and PREPARE for the exam”. Well clearly I hadn’t and I was now paying the price.

When the report card arrived I got a 50% on the exam. Plus I think Sister Lucy was being kind because I don’t recall answering half the questions. I was ashamed and embarrassed.

But, this isn’t a story about failure. After that score I resolved that I would ace the final exam a New York State standard test called the Regents Exam in June. So for the whole semester I spent an additional hour EVERY single night on Algebra.  

I am number 8 of 9 children. So when May rolled around, I dug around the basement for all my brothers’ and sisters’ Barron’s study guides. I went to the bookstore and bought the latest ones too.  These Barron’s books contained ACTUAL previous exams and solutions for each problem. When combined, I had every previous exam going back almost 20 years. Every night in late May and June, I would clear my desk and take an actual exam, grade it and review the ones I got wrong. This took more than 2 hours a night 5 nights a week.

I got 100% on the state exam and an automatic A+ for the course.

I was 14 years old and this is was one of the defining moments of my life. I didn’t let the failure set me back and I learned that if you set goals, sacrifice and prepare by putting in the hours and hours of hard work – success will follow. 

Do you recall a similar defining moment early in your life?

If you have read some of my previous posts on Mojo, Eagle Scouts, and Navy S.E.A.L.S., or heard a recent keynote you recognize that I am talking about grit. Early in my life I found the power of this important trait and behavior.

To be successful, you must be resilient and persistent. A Ph.D. at Wharton Angela Duckworth has studied uber-achievement and developed a Grit Scale. It is a bigger determinant than IQ and EQ and all other factors at predicting success. She defines grit as "passion and perseverance for very long terms goals. Grit is having stamina. Grit is sticking with your future, day in and day out. Not just for the week, not just for the month, but for years. And working really hard to make that future a reality. Grit is living life like a marathon, not a sprint.” Perhaps you have seen her TEDTalk or read her book, Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance.

Maybe you can’t recall any of those key moments, but rest assured no matter your age, trust me, your next chance for one is coming up. Good luck making that choice that at first seems harder, but will pay benefits the rest of your life.