What are you wishing for?
Barry Joinson
Executive Coaching and Psychotherapy | Board Mediation and Facilitation | People Strategy
We’ve all done it - stood at the edge of the well and waited for our coin to splash into the water at the bottom. We close our eyes tightly and conjure up the image of whatever it is we really want.
I'm often reminded of a wishing well when I sit on the train in the morning and look around at the commuters staring into open space. Many of them have the look of a broken or condemned person, which doesn’t seem to lift as they stride across London Bridge or down the steps into Victoria underground.
Sitting there, I imagine what wishes the vacant looks are concealing. Perhaps it’s wishing for the patience to cope with “that” nightmare team member today. Is it wishing just how much they must get done in the five days wasn't true? Or are they wishing for an answer to how they pay the school fees next term. Are they thinking about the washing they forgot to put on and wishing they had a magic wand to make things happen?
Whatever is running through their minds, I can’t help but wonder why on Earth one would wish for something that one can easily have. Why would you waste so much time and energy? Has the angst over something really quite easy to remedy with a bit of logical thinking and bravery become addictive?
- What if you could build a better relationship with that person in the team by sitting with them for ten minutes, asking them how they are and if they need any help? Even if it's through gritted teeth.
- What if you prioritised the things you need to do before holiday and emailed everyone impacted by the other, less important things and explained they’re on the top of your list for when you get back?
- What if you spoke to the school and agreed a way to pay in instalments or put the kids somewhere else entirely?
- What if you put an alarm on your phone reminding you to put the washing on a timer before bed so it's clean for when you wake up?
My point is that wishing gets you nowhere if you don’t also take action. Wishing is merely fooling your brain into making the wish come true (must be divine intervention) or into making it fail (I never deserve anything nice). Whichever way it is, please do keep wishing. But also know that if you really want something, you can have it sooner if you don't just rely on those wishes.
My personal favourites are "I wish I was warmer" or "I wish I hadn't eaten that third sausage sandwich before we left port."
What are you wishing for?
I am an Executive Coach, Mediator and Mentor and founder of The Leader Ship. Having worked in both start-ups and multinationals across various industries and countries, I brings a unique perspective to the challenges business people face today.
Visit www.theleadership.training to find out how we can stop you going around in circles.
Supporting businesses & their Directors to be empowered, resilient, confident leaders | Transforming Boardroom Dynamics so no body armour is required! | 25-Years Army to Lt Col
7 年Fantastic and so true. So much time wasted wishing rather than doing. This is why coaching is so powerful - to give the client the confidence and self belief to turn wishes into action and so their reality. Thank you for sharing and for reminding me.