What are you waiting for?

"And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom" -Anais Nin

TODAY IS THE DAY

Loving life doesn’t mean being happy all the time. For me it means feeling a very wide range of emotions. I keep making the choice to live each day because I love the OPPORTUNITY of being alive. I love the adventure of this lifetime, and as with any epic adventure there are some grueling parts of the trek.

I often think about giving up. I frequently hesitate to share my thoughts. Sometimes I worry that my dark thoughts are too dark. I've even had those days when I wondered if it might just be easier to end it all.

On the good days I worry that the light I do have to share is not bright enough. That my small momentary joy will mean nothing in the noise. There are so many other people who have thoughts much bigger, much brighter.

And then I look around at the growing darkness in the world. I see the report from the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention that in 2020 there were an estimated 1.20M suicide attempts. In that same year a study in London showed the average age of burnout to be 32 years old.

Last month the World Health Organization released a report stating that “Every year, an estimated 12 billion workdays are lost to depression and anxiety, costing the global economy approximately US$1 trillion a year,?and research commissioned by WHO indicates that during the pandemic, depression and anxiety increased by more than 25%.”

We are in the midst of a global mental health crisis.

There are MILLIONS of people heading into dark uncharted territory. We’re going to need all the light we can get. ?What am I holding back for??? ?I may not possess a torch grand enough to save the world. There are definitely others who have spotlights that outshine me exponentially.

In fact, I may only have a very tiny flashlight. And the batteries flicker. And my tiny flashlight doesn’t work as well on very cold and dreary days. And sometimes my hands shake and I drop my tiny flashlight in the dirt.

Yet even the tiniest flashlight helps me find my footing, one step at a time.

Maybe to beat a darkness this big we're going to need as many people as possible to turn on every dang flashlight that exists.

So I’m going to keep picking mine up and dusting it off. On the days it works I’m going to share it with you. I’ll share it with as many people as I can. On the days it doesn’t, I’ll take some time to recharge.

I’ve learned through the years that resilience isn’t about being the strongest or the brightest, it’s about figuring out how to get the most life out of your batteries.

It is time to shift the world paradigm of resilience. The truest strength is not gained by carrying heavy burdens indefinitely or overcoming tragedies repeatedly, but by building a deep knowing of self and finding ways to reclaim our power and voice consistently.

How will you recharge today? I have a celebration of life to go to for a dear friend’s mom. After that I’ll try to make some buffalo wings for Superbowl Sunday. Who’s playing? I have no idea. It’s all about the snacks over here!?

I see you, and your light matters.

-Erin