What Are YOU Thinking?

So often we hear the phrase "think outside of the box" and that can be very challenging when we allow others to hold us hostage to their toxic behaviors. It took me a long-time to create a realistic plan of action to keep myself out of the box, while at the same time not hurt another person's feelings.

Those in the helping profession and/or those that others identify as the go-to person may struggle with how best to set bounderies that allow us to deal with those that we know can keep us inside of the box - fogging-up our ability to think clearly. Here are some tips that I use and have found them to be helpful:

In my professional life I hand-pick my social circle because I found that those that are in business spoke my language, for example: I need to spend time to update my plug-ins, make sure all of my links are functioning correctly, I am working on some content, I need to write-up a few job post to outsouce a few task or I need to respond to an RFP. They won't become angry with me because they understand the language, but if I am saying this to those that do not - they tend to make me feel as if I was being unfair to them, that I act as if it is always about me or that all I do is talk about my business.

There was a time that when people said those things to me it hurt and I would give-in to their demands, but afterwards I kept finding myself back in that box and my thinking process was all over the place. Finally, I told myself that if I wanted to truly be successful in my business, then I needed to find away to get out and STAY OUT of the box so all things that I am doing is with clarity.

In my personal life I had to create a mental list to carry around with me because I know that I love helping people and will in any way that I can. However, It took time to say no to the ones that were not asking me to help them, they acutally expected me to do it for them. I recall helping a man to get a job and on the 2nd day he never showed-up. That was his problem, but I was a little offended that he had the balls to be walking pass me and not speak as if I was responsible for him not showing-up to a job I had gotten for him. Initially, I told myself that I was done, but did not follow it up because I realize that I cannot save the world and I help those that help themselves and that is his problem not mine. This is a perfect example of how easy it can be to find yourself inside of someone else's box. This can be tricky because people like him can have many people inside of his box and he would be the one outside of the box - it can happen, this is why YOU MUST stay focused, avoid boxes with toxic and drama sign and with some folks, while you may not intend to be mean, you just have to cut the cord "point blank" or you will keep finding yourselves thinking inside of someone elses box.

Odd, but I created a people's bookshelf. For example: Terrie is nice, but has way too much going on, so she will be placed on this shelf and Karl is nice, but likes to dump his relationship problems in my lap, so he will be placed on this shelf and etc to the rest of the folks that were toxic, draining me of my energy, making their problems become mine, turning me into their personal social worker, therapist or coach. Yes, I departmentalize people and I only deal with them when I am in a safe space away from that box that I have worked so hard to get out of.

You cannot think outside of a box that you are in, so the goal is getting out and doing what is best for your mental health well-being so you can stay out of other people's boxes. Today I want you to take those steps by telling yourselves that YOU will no-longer be hostage to other people's boxes.