Is what you think you want, really what you want?

There's been a lot of talk about Twin Flames. There's a Netflix documentary that I neither condone or suggest you watch, especially if you're easily triggered. But interestingly, the phrase Twin Flames has been in existence for many, many years, especially in the spiritual world where we're developing ourselves, and our spirit connection, and our communication channels with something outside of us in another way.?

I had an experience of Twin Flames myself, and I've had quite a few actually, but the one I really remember - because I think people think Twin Flames is all about romanticism, it's all about finding this person that you're going to sail off into the sunset with - for me, it wasn't that experience at all. And for many who really do the deep inner work and spiritual connection work, it's not that either. It's really about somebody that comes to show you your shadow self. And, you know, you probably don't know me as somebody who's very spiritual and woo, but I've been in spiritual development circles with some of the best people in the world for 25 years now, so before it was fashionable, before it was cool and trendy to be a spiritual coach.?

And that's not what I call myself by the way, but spirits get involved in everything I do. They help guide me, they help make me have the confidence and courage to share my message with the world as I'm doing right now, they show me the people that should be in my life, they show me my destiny, and also, they show up in pretty much all of my coaching sessions. So we get that quantum advantage when I'm coaching. So you know, your spirit family know more about what's going on in your life than I could possibly ever do, and actually, more than you know as well.?

So that's a really powerful part of the coaching I do. So years ago, when I was sitting in a shamanic circle, and shamanism is really about energy, about trees and the land and ancestors, rather than spirits, which is more for me about angels and loved ones and people that have deceased (I do both by the way), and I was sitting in a circle and I met a woman and she met me, and we both had what the other one wanted. So, she had a multimillion pound business, and at the time, that's what I wanted. I had a loving marriage with an ideal man - joyful, and really was a beautiful marriage. And that's what she wanted.?

So when we saw, and met, and got to know each other, it was about trying to understand what we wanted that the other one had. So it was quite a tempestuous relationship, I'm not gonna lie. The friendship had its ups and downs, and actually, I ended up ending that relationship and she ended up ending that business. Because actually, what we both realised was, that when we're craving something so much, it’s simply not going to happen. Because that desperate kind of push energy is not the energy of creation, that's the energy of fear. So you hear me talk about fear and love, and they’re really only two states in the world. And if you're scared, you can't be in love. And if you're in love, you can't be scared. So they can't sit together - they are very opposite. And that's in all areas of life, by the way.?

So, it was very clear, actually, to me, I don't really know what her journey has taken her on, we're not in touch anymore - but actually, that craving I had for this multimillion pound business, I had to do some real deep inner work as to what that was about. It was all about money mindset, of which if you’ve listened to anything I've ever put out anywhere, I had one of the worst I've ever known. I grew up in a family of compulsive gambling. It didn't feel like that at the time, but on reflection, it's exactly what it was. It felt quite innocent because it involved bingo, and slot machines - it didn't involve, you know, bookies and casinos and dark side. It was all very light-hearted family fun. So it's not until reflection that I realised what was going on, and everything was very compulsive - that compulsive energy towards gambling and how if you had ￡100, if you gambled it, you could have ￡200, let alone actually if you save that ￡100 and use it for something more beneficial than you will feel better about life anyway. So none of that was taught to me as a child. And I say a child, I was in bingo halls for about the age of eight, playing on old tickets and being in that energy. And that grew up and on my 18th birthday, I spent all day and night in a bingo hall where I was legally for the first time allowed to play, and that set my habits and compulsions for my life too.

I’m pleased to say that obviously, I've done such a lot of work on myself that that is no longer the case. In the same way I'm able to enjoy the odd flutter and the odd visit to bingo now, it's no longer in a compulsive state. So what I realised was, this absolute drive for this multimillion pound business would have meant so much to me. And I remember somebody asking me during my coach training,” what does it mean to you?” And it meant security. It meant I'd made it. It meant that I no longer had to gamble to get security. It meant that I was successful. And luckily for me, I've always been very spiritually connected and I wasn't willing to do that in any way. Because there are people out there who are very transactional - for them, they don't really care how they might because that money… the money is everything. But sadly, that was never going to be me. I was never going to be the millionaire in that way because I'm very transformational. I want to be involved in everything, I feel the joy and pleasure in things. So it did stop me from being one of these proper sociopathic, multimillionaires that doesn't really care about stuff. I'm quite the opposite to that.?

So I want you to think now - the reason I'm giving you this story, is that I want you to think about if you were to meet your twin flame, like somebody that was to show you what you really thought you wanted, and notice who they are when they've got what you want - and I don't mean just the positives, I mean, the negatives as well. Because the negatives that this woman had of having this business, I've never really thought about. I'd only ever thought about the positives of having all the money and the freedom, and I could have nice cars and holidays and buy a fabulous house and clothes, and you know, all of those things that I would imagine you're probably nodding along going, “oh, that'd be amazing”. But the trauma and the struggle was with friendships and relationships, which is why she didn't have one. And you know, everything else in her life, the trouble she had, you know, with staff, with the business itself, with clients - they were bigger than any scale I could have ever imagined and I very quickly worked out that actually, all the positives of what I thought I was dreaming of and working so hard to push for, wasn't worth all the negatives that came with it. And sometimes if your brain knows secretly what the negatives are of your positives, it won't let you move towards them either. And very often, when I'm helping people build bigger businesses, they somewhere deep down know that they're open to lots more vulnerability - they're open to lots more problems, challenges, risks, therefore, they're not allowed to go there.?

So now I want you to have a good think about what it is you think you really want and imagine somebody that's got it, and ask them what all the challenges and problems are. Just do yourself a favour. Work out if it’s really what you want, because if you can say “yes, actually, I still want it despite the negatives”, then your brain will say “okay, it's safe to proceed because we've problem solved all of this stuff from the beginning”. And if you need any help with this, as always, you know where I am. Book a call ?- 30 minutes and we can get to the bottom of it all.