What are you telling yourself?

I recently read the book Lean In , and wow, has it been powerful. I highly recommend it. As a female you might have grown up in a culture, society, community or environment that did not celebrate you for who you are, or told you certain stories about what you can or can't achieve, or who you should or shouldn't be. Even what you should and shouldn't achieve. I must admit, these statements are relevant to me.

I recently got married and at first it was quite an adjustment. You think you need to always look perfect, cook, clean, manage the home, do the shopping etc. meanwhile you also have a demanding career. After a couple of months I told my husband that I am exhausted and can't keep it up, and that everything just became too much. Luckily, he is extremely supportive of my career and told me that he never expected it of me. But what was the story that I was telling myself since a young age? Also, what did every person tell me before I got married (as I did not marry in my 20s or early 30s).

This is a silly example but during that time it was very much my reality. I was not aware of the messages that has been imprinted in my subconscious and the expectations I had of myself.

Getting to know yourself/ self awareness (the expectations you have of yourself and what is holding you back etc.) is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself and to everyone around you. If you can start focusing on your strengths rather than your weaknesses, the value you bring, understanding what your purpose and "magic sauce" is - you can build and grow it. Understanding your #limitingassumptions , #biases and what is holding you back? Are the fears that you have a reality and what triggers do you have? What makes you happy and what drains your energy? As soon as you have the answers to these questions (and there are many more), you can start to manage it. I appreciate that this changes when you go through different seasons in life and that #continuouslearning is in order, but you need to focus on it and make an effort as it does not happen automatically.

Start this day/month/year and decide who you want to be. If you had no self doubt or did not fear the unknown - what would you do? What risks would you be willing to take and which conversations will you be willing to have? What support would you need and who do you need to speak to? Maybe it is a case of recognising someone else needs support and lending an encouraging word.

Know that you have the right to sit at the table and Lean In to new opportunities. The world is undergoing unprecedented change - how can you bring what you have to the fore and help solve important problems? The world needs what you have to offer. Be courageous and take the first step, and then another. Soon you will find that you have come a far way. Write your #smartgoals down and ask someone to keep you accountable. Celebrate your successes and learn from your mistakes. I firmly believe that growth comes from trying new things, pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and taking the lessons learnt out of every situation.

Remember that you are who you think you are, and that ONLY you have the power to change it.