What you need to know about your self-worth

Where does your validation come from?

I want you to do something for me right now.?

Stand in front of a mirror. Look eye ball to eye ball at that image staring at you.?

Have you done that...??

Now, repeat these statements after me?

"I am special!"

"There's no one else like me in the whole wide world."

"I am God's masterpiece; therefore I am just perfect for my divine assignment."

"I do not need validation from anyone."

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Now how do you feel right now...?

There must be an insurgent of positive energy if you believed those words you recited.?

I was spurred to write on this because of my experience with one of my students recently.?

Yes I know, every human being wants to be acknowledged and accepted. It's a natural thing. Even when we were kids, we tend to reciprocate love in the direction we perceive more of it; children who get more attention from their moms, love them more, and vice versa.

When it comes to those from dysfunctional homes, you see them going out of themselves to make their supposed parents happy hoping that they could receive love in return.?

This could emanate to low self-esteem in the future and; in severe cases, depression. Most people that suffer from this psychological problem tend to be emotionally dependent.?

They camp their joy or happiness on the opinion of others. It is more rampant among our young people.?

When you visit the internet, you hear cases of young people committing suicide because their supposed boyfriend or girlfriend left them.?

There was a story of a beautiful young girl that was dating a guy that bullies her at every slightest provocation, yet according to her, she can't leave the young boy.?

Now, there's no commitment as regards marriage or anything, yet a young girl will choose to die than leave a "supposed boyfriend".?

A few days ago, I was very much disappointed with one of my best students displayed at school during their rehearsal.?

Before now, I knew her as someone that loves to be complimented. She'd go out of herself so you can appreciate her. Though she's smart, she always craves validation at every opportunity.?

I didn't see it as a problem. I felt it was one of those youthful exuberance, you know.?

Until last Thursday, I was in class, and she staggered toward my table soaked in tears.?

I tried to inquire what the issue could be, and I was surprised when I was told she was removed from the list of those doing pageantry. It wasn't making sense to me. The reason is that she was almost losing her breath as she wailed on the ground.?

I got furious. How can a brilliant girl like her get worked up over something like pageantry to that extent? When she realized I wasn't happy, she began to calm herself down.?

One of the teachers came to explain how she had noticed that low esteem trait in her, as there was a similar scenario in the past.?

I had to talk to her when everyone else have left.?

In her case, I didn't blame her entirely because I believed her age was also a contributing factor. This is why I am an ardent supporter that children should not be allowed in universities.?

This unusual quest from parents to always push their children up in classes that at 15, a teenager is already writing jamb.?

I do not dispute the saying that age is just a number, but then life is in stages, and every stage is as important as the other.?

When your child skips a year or two in school, they lose the training that comes with that level.?

We should not clamor for a generation that is just book-smart but has zero wisdom. It's quite dangerous.

I have come across such breeds during my university days; young children of 15 at the university engaging in all kinds of fraudulent and immoral acts because of peer influence.?

A friend told me a story of a young girl that gained the title "public toilet" in her second year in the university as almost every guy on campus has slept with her. Now, she was raised by a single parent, and guess what, she entered the university at 14! What do you expect? And she was a very bright student.

The good thing about her story was that it had a happy ending because a young guy chose to see her differently and wrapped a cloth of honor on her life of disgrace. He later married her after graduation. The story always reminds me of this scripture that says, it is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of the lord that showeth mercy.

Everyone, might not be lucky like her, and that is why we need to get this right from the beginning.?

Beyond, academics, we should imbibe in our young ones a good sense of worth. It's not the duty of just the teachers or the parents. It has to be a communal effort.?

Self-confidence beyond anything will help a child become all they were destined to be. And even adults, we all need self-confidence.?

You need to accept yourself the way God has made you.?

Even the scripture pointed out you should love your neighbor as yourself, not above yourself. That means you have to love yourself first before you can love others.? The resultant negative effect could be either hatred, jealousy, or obsession?

None of these are healthy.?

I will want you to go back to the mirror and repeat that exercise.?

Say those words, till your spirit man agrees with yourself.?

Because, beyond every reasonable doubt, you are amazing just the way you are.?

The world is extra special because you exist in it, and we can't wait to see all the greatness in you unfold before our very eyes.?

#soughtout ?