What you need to know when you seek advice about public speaking

I am always surprised when I - most of the time coincidentally - discover that a speaker I am working with has completely false assumptions about what he is supposed to do or not to do when speaking in public. The reason for that is that there are so many information and opinions about public speaking that some of them are contradictory.

So, how to know what is right and what is wrong? Unfortunately, there is no simple answer to that question. And there are two reasons for that:

1. Public speaking is not a science. It is more like cooking. There are some facts that are true for everyone but then there are also many different opinions about how to do something in the right way. What is important is to tell the difference between a fact and an opinion and to not confuse them. Doing that, is the best recipe for a bad advice. And unfortunately there are lot of recipes like that out there.
2. “What is wrong or what is right?“ is actually the wrong question. Many times, public speaking is not about what is right and what is wrong - it’s about what is best for you. And no one who doesn’t know you and the goal and context of your presentation, will be able to provide you with a helpful answer.

I would estimate that only 50% of the standard questions about public speaking can be clearly answered without knowing the speaker or the context of the talk. These are questions like: “How can I make sure that my talk has a clear throughline?“ or “What is a good pace for speaking in public?“ Any good public speaking coach will be able to provide you with a reliable answer to these questions without necessarily knowing you or your talk. However, that is not true for the other 50% of questions. Questions like “Should I use notes?“ or “What is the best way to share my idea?“. In my opinion, questions like these can not be clearly answered without knowing the speaker as well as the goal and context of the presentation. Let’s take the questions “Should I use notes?“ for example. Many coaches would say that it is better and more professional not to use notes when you give a talk or presentation. However, this is rather an opinion than a fact. And it doesn't mean that it is necessarily the best way for everyone. What works best for you depends on your level of experience, your personal style of presenting and the goal and context of your talk.

I was recently coaching a speaker who had a very hard time learning his talk by heart. Not learning his talk by heart and go for a more flexibel approach was not an option since his topic was very political and every sentence he said had to be very precise. A couple of days before the event he told me that he was extremely stressed because he still hadn’t managed to deliver his talk without using any notes and he was running out of time to get there. I asked him why he would not just use notes then - that would make his life much easier. He was very surprised by my suggestion. Because he read in an article that one should never use notes when delivering a talk - it would be much more professional and better for the engagement with the audience. That’s why using notes on stage was at no point an option for him and the reason why he was so stressed out. So I asked him this “Even if that was true - which I seriously doubt - and considering the time problem: Would it be worth risking to get lost in your talk? Would it be more professional to mess up your political message than to use notes?“ Of course not! Using notes doesn't mean reading your talk. It's just a tool helping you to remember a few important things and providing you with some security - which sometimes is crucial for the confidence of a speaker. Plus, done in the right way, it still enables you to connect with your audience. He was very relived when this false expectation was taken off of him and felt very confident when he delivered his talk - with notes. And it was a great success. 

Here is the thing: An article doesn’t know your level of experience or the time that you have for preparing your talk. It also doesn’t know if you are the kind of speaker who needs to learn his talk by heart or the one who is fine with just memorizing the structure of it. But most importantly: An article doesn’t know what your priorities are. If you are delivering a controversial talk where you need to be very careful with the words you use, then your priority should be to make sure that you will be able to do exactly that. And if that means that you need notes, then so be it. Learning how to speak in public means to find out what works best for you and what helps you to achieve your goals.

Learning how to speak in public means to find out what works best for you and what helps you to achieve your goals.

It’s understandable that we would prefer simple answers and clear directions but unfortunately that is not always possible. Again: I would say that half of common questions about public speaking can not be clearly answered without knowing you and your talk. Unfortunately, however, it is very tempting for some people to claim that they have the right answers for everyone. Which leads to a lot of confusion, wrong assumptions and even untruth. If you want to avoid that, seek advice from someone who knows you and your talk - and who knows the difference between a fact and an opinion.