What you need to be Happy

That was the week that was

I had some experiences last week, not all of them happy but they demonstrate what it is to be happy at work, at home, with life.

The first was a post on Linked in from Bernard. I worked with Bernard for several years in which we developed a friendship. Not a ‘best friend’ kind of friendship, just a friendship. Bernard’s post was about “Friendships in Business” and in his list of friends, my name was included. Hence I received notification from the Linked-In algorithm. In a nutshell, Bernard said there was long-term business value in long term business friendships.

The second was a funeral for my former neighbour, Garth. We were neighbours at Boscobel Drive for 12 years and with that came a friendship. Garth was not the most likeable person when he had had a few but he was nevertheless a friend. His former wife has had a long term friendship with my wife and while we were on holiday in South Africa, Cherie had a missed call from Garth’s ex-wife. Cherie decided she would call her back in a couple of days when we got home. She did call her back to hear of Garth’s death. Garth was 57 years old. At the funeral I spoke to Garth’s ex-wife. They had been divorced for 5 or more years. She recounted how she hadn’t seen Garth for two years. And that the most difficult experience of her life was to contact her daughters at university in South Africa to tell them the news.

The third was an e-mail from my grandson, Kyran. Kyran is 27 years old. He has in his few short years had an incredible variety of life. As a squash player of some real ability, and still at school, he travelled all over Europe playing squash in the various school tournaments that are organised for people like him.

Next he became a cadet soldier and in that time he was appointed the Lord Lieutenant’s Cadet for Gloucestershire. He was required to meet royalty when royalty travelled to Gloucestershire.

While still at school with the Army Cadets he went to Canada on an outward bound experience in The Rockies.

When he left school he walked the Pyrenees on his own as ‘practice’ before walking the Pacific Crest Trail, a distance of 2,500 miles from Mexico to Canada. He had to make it to Canada before the snow. He didn’t. But he still managed to complete the walk in the snow and ice in his sleeping bag at night.

Next he went to the Kruger National Park in South Africa where he qualified as a game guide. Then to the University of Bristol where he obtained a degree in Entomology, Next he worked as film extra with people like Tom Cruise, George Clooney and Harrison Ford. He tells me that George Clooney is the most patient man he has ever met, dealing with narcissistic film stars who make impossible demands because of the ‘don’t you know who I am?’ syndrome.

Next up he applied to various universities to obtain a teaching diploma in Biology. Why not apply to Cambridge University? And Cambridge University took him in. He now has his teaching diploma and he is teaching biology at a public school in Cambridge.

Out of the blue I received an e-mail from Kyran:

"Grandpa today I remembered and thought about the trip we had to Victoria Falls. The night time walk to the falls. The helicopter ride. Wandering around Livingstone. I just want to say this was an incredibly special experience for me, and I want to thank you for it."

With all that he has done, he thinks of this experience. What more could a grandfather ask for?

I’m not done yet: On Wednesday I was due to meet with Rob and Llew for a business lunch. At 10:00 I received a call from Llew. “Sorry, Dave, I can’t make lunch today. I’m going into hospital. I have blockage in my bowel. Can you get Pete to replace me?”

I got Pete to replace him. In the evening I visited Llew in hospital to make sure he was still alive. “Sorry, it’s past visiting hours.” I learned enough to know he was alive and I managed to persuade the gate-keepers to let me in. There was Llew in bed looking reasonably well. The blockage had been dealt with but he was still in pain.

“I’m getting out tomorrow. I will make the meeting on Saturday.” We talked for a short while and I left.

On Saturday I got a long WhatsApp message from Llew. He couldn’t make it. He was back in hospital with kidney stones. Nonetheless he wrote a long post of his ideas that we should discuss with the others at the Saturday meeting. He told me later that he wrote it on his back in his hospital bed.

Where does Llew get this kind of commitment and extraordinary grit? Most of us living here know the answer. It was his time growing up in what was Rhodesia, his time as a police reservist in that same country and then his determination and ability to stay in business in the new Zimbabwe where the economy has been in free-fall in most of the 44 years of its existence.

Then on Sunday I had my regular morning walk with Andy where we talk about life, about business, about friendships, about people, about systems that sometimes work and sometimes don’t, about technology and how it affects us, about economics and sometimes even politics. We recognise that talking about politics is really a waste of time so it gets very little coverage.

Not quite finally: then with another friend, Ron. Ron is my neighbour. He put his head in the door at 09:00 and said: “Want to have breakfast with me?”

So we had breakfast. I broached the subject of needing a Project Manager to manage a maintenance project that needs to be done and dusted by 2027. Would Ron be interested? I got an immediate “No thanks – I am committed to other work. What about Paul?”

And why not Paul?

Almost done: At 12:30 I went to see Llew. He is up and about and we will meet tomorrow to take another step forward in the mutual business demands we have to work on.

And Paul? I phoned him at 13:00. He didn’t answer. He phoned me later. I didn’t answer. I was in ‘deep work’ mode working on some assignments sent to me by a mentee of mine. He needs the help before tomorrow morning and my phone is (deliberately) not with me.

When I was done, I found the missed call, phoned him back and told him of the project. Would he be interested? Yes indeed, he is.

?All done apart from writing this up.

Oh yes, what do you need to be happy?

1.????? Something (purposeful) to do

2.????? Something to look forward to (My game of golf tomorrow afternoon with friends is good enough to fit this category)

3.????? Someone to love (my wife, sons and grandsons)

4.????? Friendships

And as my sister reminded me when I asked her to edit this document before posting, from the late Michael Moseley’s many talks of value, if you want to avoid dementia, learn something new or do something you have never done before.