What you need to do when you start Dreading Sundays since Monday, and work, are right around the corner

By Jack J. Kelly

Do you start getting depressed on Sunday morning?  Is the thought of commuting into work Monday morning making you sick? Are you feeling unchallenged, unhappy, and unappreciated in the office? Does your boss lack any empathy or support?  Do you find yourself commiserating and complaining with coworkers constantly throughout the day?

If this is you, at least the good news is that you are not alone. It’s common to feel stuck and unhappy in your job.  You need to ascertain whether this is a temporary thing or situation which could worsen. If it is a long term problem you need to take immediate action otherwise you risk sliding down a hill of anger, and resentment. Your work product will suffer. It will affect your home life. And you mood will worsen.

You want to avoid being that guy who blew up at the boss, and quit on the spot without any forethought or plans for the future. Nor do you want to be the person that incessantly complains to people so that they start avoiding you. Even your spouse and best friends get tired of hearing someone constantly complain without any accompanying proactive measures being taken to improve their situation.

The first thing you need to do is analyze the situation rationally. I make it sound easy but we all know it’s not. Emotions, anger, resentment creep into your thought process. Are you feeling persistently sad, distracted, sluggish, irritable, depressed and angry? Are you not sleeping well or sleeping too much? Are you pulling out of social engagements with family and friends? Do you find yourself eating more, relying on alcohol, drugs or food for comfort? These are clear signs that you have to do something. It does not mean panic, quit your job on the spot or yell at your boss. It is time to take a step back, accept that there is a serious problem, analyze why you’re are unhappy, and is it possible to change the dynamics at work to rectify the situation.

It is okay to start by accepting that this is the job you currently have but it doesn’t have to be the job you will always have. I have coached people to make the mental leap that you will leave this job eventually. It may not be tomorrow, next week, next month or next year but it will happen. Since you will be gone someday, what difference does the little daily petty annoyances mean? If your coworkers are irritants, so what, in maybe six months’ time you will never see them ever again for the rest of your life. With this in mind, the small things don’t seem to matter. In fact, it becomes humorous. The annoying jerk isn’t so bad anymore now that you know he will be a distant memory a year from now. This mental exercise takes some of the pain and aggravation away but is not a cure all.

Start looking for positive ways to change your circumstances as opposed to wallowing in self-pity. Develop a game plan and become proactive. Have a brainstorm session with family and friends about your situation to toss around ideas to inspire how you can remedy the situation.  If your boss isn’t a complete maniac, start by asking for a meeting to share your thoughts. It is a risky proposition since it could turn our poorly. You will need to be very prepared and focus  on what you would you would like to see changed, how that can happen, and why the changes will improve your moral, mental attitude, and as a consequence your work product  will dramatically improve. Please don’t go into the meeting surly with a list of grievances and an antagonistic attitude, it will end poorly. It’s not like in the movies where your friends cheer you on, you burst into the boss’s office yell out your grievances, and everyone in the office hoots and hollers while your ugly troll boss sits his fat butt in his oversized chair with his mouth open wide in fear and disbelief.

Another venue could be the Human Resources department. You could ask for a confidential meeting to share your issues. It may turn out that you are not the only one going through this. To your surprise, it could be that others have registered similar complaints and it is an epidemic in your division. While a change may not happen overnight, you could feel better that it is not just you, and changes will most likely y be made

In the meantime, try to grow personally and professional. Use this time to learn new skills or achieve certain accreditations in your field that will help you move within the company or find a new better job. Go back to school for a degree at night, or take courses for an accreditation. You will meet new people with similar backgrounds who may have some ideas for you.  Develop new hobbies that will take your mind off work when you are out of work.

While it is easy to focus on the negative, think of, and appreciate the positives. There has to be at least one coworker you can bond with. Maybe the company has a gym you could use during lunch. Maybe you can mentor a protégé to make yourself feel empowered and help someone else’s life.

Here are some dos and dont’s:

Do:

Separate what you can change and want you can’t change. Then, concentrate on what can be changed, and try to divorce yourself from the things that you don’t have any control over. 

Take responsibility for making a change. It is up to you. Nobody else can drive your life. You are the only one in charge.

Stay focused on making the best of the bad situation.

Don’t:

Fall into disappear and believe that nothing will ever change.

Allow negative thoughts to rule you, take over, and infect every part of your life outside of the office.

Feel that you can’t share your feeling with anyone.  This is especially important for guys who think it is a weakness to share your worries and fears; it’s not.

The easy answer to your problem is to just say f@#k-it, and find a new job. That may be the ultimate long term answer, but this advice misses the bigger picture. It may not be the job. Maybe you were not cut out to be an accountant.  Perhaps you were pushed by your parents and society to become a lawyer and you hate it. Do you have too high expectations for yourself? It could be that you only have light experience but are looking for people to treat you as if you are a corporate veteran with all the answers. You could be working on Wall Street but really want to change the world. Moving to another bank wouldn’t change your problems. They will be there waiting for you at the new bank since you didn’t address the underlying nature that you are in the wrong field to change the world. To truly fix the situation, you need to first understand all the contributing factors.   Also consider the type of work itself.  It could be too challenging or not challenging enough. Maybe it lacks meaning and purpose. Perhaps you're just not mentally engaged in what you're doing.   

You need to plan a clear vision of what will make you happy and fulfilled before you entertain jumping to another job.  Dissatisfaction at work could lead to an impulsive decision, and you will  end up in a vicious cycle of job hopping.  

You deserve to be happy at work.  Unhappiness at the office will negatively impact all aspects of your life. Take control over your life right now, and good things will happen.

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