What you must say goodbye to if you want a fulfilling life
Toni Courtney
Leadership Influence Expert | Leading Teams Through Change | Resilient & Adaptive Teams and Culture at Toni Courtney
One of the hardest things in life is to let go of something or someone who is precious.
My 20 year old cat Sariah is dying from kidney disease. After talking with the vet yesterday, I’ve decided to keep her as comfortable as I can at home over the next day or so. ?She’s stopped eating and the medication to stimulate her appetite isn’t working. I’ve spent the morning sitting with her. She’s one of those cats who wants to be wherever you are…..a bit like a loyal dog really. She’s been by constant companion through all my ups and downs in life over this time. I can’t quite comprehend I need to let her go.?I don’t have a choice. ?
We want to keep hold of the things we perceive we value.
What about when we do have a choice?
What about when we keep holding on to what perceive we value, even when holding on is no longer serving us?
I want to share a fable about catching spider monkeys in South America. These monkeys live high up in the trees and are virtually impossible to catch. ?What the hunters do is lay heavy boxes at the bottom of the trees where they know the spider monkeys are. ?At the top of each box, the hunters make a small hole, just large enough for a monkey to put its arm through. The hunters then put a type of nut into the boxes the monkeys love. When the monkeys see or smell the nuts, they come down from the trees, put an arm into the box, grab the nuts by making a fist, and therein lies the dilemma. By holding onto the nuts, they have no idea they are giving up their freedom. The hunters simply come along and pick up the monkeys and throw them into a bag. ?Freedom was just a matter letting go of the nuts.
People are the same.?Sometimes we stay with what we perceive we value even if it’s not serving us in anyway. Why do we do that? Because staying with what we know is predictable and/or safe even if we don’t like it or complain about it. ?
I’ve started working with Ben who told me I realised that I didn’t want to put up with the egos around me anymore; people putting their own self-interest first. I had to be honest with myself. Being in this environment was killing me – well my soul that is - ?but I don’t know what I want to move to. ?It can be easier staying in a job we’re not happy in and justify it by telling ourselves it’s not that bad or it’s going to get better or the devil you know.
What are you holding onto at work that is no longer serving you resourcefully?
Wishing and hoping for things to change around you isn’t a strategy for self-empowerment.
Staying in your comfort zone is safe and predictable but it’s holding you back from growing and developing into your ?potential.?
It takes courage to grow into who we really are – C.C Cummings
Life unfolds through a process of things starting and ending. ?We’re always in transition. Nothing stays the same. We don’t stay the same. I mean think of the version of you 5, 10, or even 15 years ago. We’re always growing and developing in some way.
Becoming the best version of you means letting go of the things that are no longer serving you. In other words, being self-aware to have the courage to let go; let go of the things that are keeping you in your comfort zone unresourcefully, for example:
Limiting self-beliefs – I’m not good enough. You are good enough – it’s up to you to believe it.
Excuses – I’m too busy. Plenty of people as busy as you are, are doing the thing you want to do.
Apathy - Last time it didn’t work out so why should it now? ?Whether you get the result you want or not, empower yourself to get back on the court. You only fail when you give up.
How you lead yourself is your choice.?Your mindset is a daily choice.
Discerning what you truly value and living life congruent to your values and principles is the way to live a fulfilling life that you love. ?
Every day you get to decide how you show up. What are you going to choose to let go of this week that is holding you back from stepping into your potential? I’d love to know.
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Toni Courtney is a leadership influence expert who works with leaders and teams to build core leadership capability. Email her at [email protected] to see how she can assist.
Coach | Father | Entrepreneur
3 年There are nuggets in this article, thanks for sharing I’d be honored to have you in my network Toni
CEO at Linked VA
3 年What a timely post, I was just talking about this with my colleague!
CEO, Epic Entrepreneur Media | Join the Epic Entrepreneurs | Business Strategist | Linkedin Coach | Speaker | Follow for posts on Business & Life Mastery
3 年Great read, Toni Courtney. Letting go is difficult, but it is needed to press forward. Great read! #personaldevelopment #lifemastery #mindfulness #motivation