What Are You Leaving Behind In 2023?

As you exit the year, what habits and behaviours do you choose to leave behind?

Here are some of the more frequently cited ‘releases’ I hear from my clients:

1.?Proving yourself by taking on more projects.

Perhaps you could invest more energy in sharing the impact and learnings from the projects you’ve delivered to date - or in #9.

2.?Pressuring yourself to respond immediately to non-priority, urgent requests.

Hit your pause button and weigh up if you need to respond, and if yes, how best to make your point - start with the key message(s), the 'why' and then add the detail.

3.?Not asking for what you need.

Ask for what you need in a way that syncs with the needs of your counterpart. They may say no – that’s OK. At least you’ve asked!

4.?Practicing reflection that consists of 100% self-criticism.

Start with recognition and self-appreciation before moving on to one or two areas you could improve on.

5.??Tolerating – or blaming yourself – for the unreasonable behaviour of others.

It’s a tough lesson to learn that you can’t control others’ behaviour. It can be easy to take accountability for others’ shortcomings (especially if they have little self-awareness). Be like Teflon – let their unreasonable behaviour bounce off you.

6.?Undermining your own wisdom, experience and achievements.

Do you take your expertise and knowledge for granted, assuming people already know it? Even if they do, it’s always helpful to have a reminder.

7.?Raising the level of others’ performance (by doing their work for them).

A frequent trap for leaders who seek to support their team and set high standards. They jump in and complete work that is going off track. It’s not helpful for you or others.

8.??Seeking promotion as a goal.

Promotion is not wholly in your control, so let go of that as a goal – instead focusing on practicing behaviours or developing skills that contribute to your growth.

9. ?Putting yourself last.

Schedule time for activities that bring you joy and energy.

10. Holding back from sharing perspectives.

This may be because you are worried people will judge you. They will! People judge people. Can you accept that?

Or perhaps it's because you are slower to process your thoughts than others in the room. Can you push yourself to signal your need to speak - raise your hand? Interject? Once the signal is shared, you will speak.

Do you have a #11?

Do you have a habit or behaviour you will leave behind in 2023 and work hard not to carry with you into 2024? Do share in the comments below your #11.

Best wishes for the festive season. Here’s hoping you emerge wiser and with less baggage for the new year ahead.

Andrea Stone is an Executive and Team Coach working with leaders and their teams to lead well: improving performance, value creation and success in a sustainable manner.

? Andrea Stone, Stone Leadership