What You Feed, Grows

We've all said it. "Wow - I wish I were as good at work/happy/smart/energetic/talented as you. How do I become like that?" The response is either a set of steps that are available for a price, a regimen that just isn't possible with our life, or a simple shrug of the shoulders and "I don't know - I just do it". Most of these answers don't lead to permanent change. So we get frustrated, thinking that we can't be happier, or smarter, or more talented. We're just not going to be as good as that person is at their career.

But there is something you can do. It's obvious, simple, and extremely hard. And it's just one thing:

Feed what you want to grow.

Obvious, right? If you put fertilizer on one set of plants, water them, and make sure they are in the sunlight, they grow. Don't do those things, and the plants die.

What holds true for plants holds true in your life, right now, right where you are. Whatever you are feeding, will grow. Whatever you neglect, won't.

There are a lot of things you can focus on right now. A lot of bad things: inequality, political turmoil, corporate greed, and a general lack of integrity. There are a lot of good things you can focus on right now. People helping each other. Amazing new technologies. Rising awareness and education worldwide. The interesting thing is that both of these are happening at the same time. Humans are biologically engineered to focus on the bad. It helps us survive.

Another human trait is that we tend to want one thing, but do the exact opposite of what it takes to attain it. We all want to be healthy, and have energy. So what do we do? We eat poorly, and avoid even the simplest of workouts. We all want to be happy. So what do we do? We focus on the negative. We watch reality TV. We listen to the news. We argue on the Internet. We all want to be smarter. So what do we do? We don't take the time to read. We don't try new things. We don't take a class. We don't start our morning off with finding some new way to think.

So it's simple, really:

In everything you do, even right now, think about what you want to accomplish. One thing. Get it in your head. Make the letters of that word in your mind large and bold. Sear it in.

Actively research the things that would make that happen. The books you need to read. The statement you need to make - or leave unsaid. The person you need to help. Write that down in whatever list tool you use. Paper and pencil are just fine.

Do those things - to the exclusion of the other things that don't get you closer to that goal. Turn off the TV, read a book. Log off of social media (I know, ironic) and head over to EdX. Spend 15 minutes working on a side project instead of arguing with people. Eat some vegetables, not the cake. Keep your mouth shut, when you want to say something unkind. Donate money rather than buying yet something else you don't need. Find out how to be better at your job rather than spending one second focusing on what you don't like about it.

Simple. But not easy. In fact, it's super-hard. Because the battle you face is not with someone else - it's with your biggest obstacle: You. But you can win.

Try one decision. One little decision. I will NOT watch that show right now, I WILL read for 30 minutes straight. Do it. Then do it again. Then again. And again.

And from time to time, you'll fail. That's OK - come back and start over. It gets easier, with every little victory. And as you build those victories, you get invested. There is a psychological principle that makes us want to protect things we've invested time and effort in. Success will breed success.

The change will be barely be noticeable to you at first. But it will be noticeable to others. And in a year, you'll have attained that goal - or be closer to it. It really works. I've seen it in myself and in others.

"Hey", you say "I do all this already. I eat pretty well. I read a lot. I'm not argumentative. And yet I don't see this change happening." Really? Try this, then: Take another piece of paper, and track what you do. What you eat. What you read. What you watch. The amount of time you spend on social media. Read over your posts (check the sentiment here). Read the e-mails you've sent. Think about what you've said today. Count the number of times you've worked on your career, your happiness. You may be surprised. In fact, you WILL be surprised. We have an amazing ability to deceive ourselves, so the first step is examining our lives with a bright light. But don't let that depress you - make it motivate you to do better.

So get started. Feed what you want to grow. Starve what you don't want to grow. And don't wait. Start now - right now.