What You Don't Know, Can Hurt Me.

Children often do NOT talk about sexual abuse. Period.

This is mostly because they think it is their fault and most times they are convinced so by their abuser that it is normal or a "special secret".

Children may also be bribed or threatened by their abuser. Many are told "No-one will believe you". And more often than not, if the child tries, the abuser's words ARE proven right.

A recent advertorial by MANForce Condoms grew the creeps around me - in a good way. Kudos to their entire team. It feels just too known and just out there. So, I thought of just sharing a few things which probably could a child in need. In many cases we would find ourselves in a phase where the event has already occurred. How can we then help our lil ones.

Here are some of the signs that could help us help the child:

• Changes in behavior – (new change) being aggressive, withdrawn, clingy, have difficulties sleeping. They may have regular nightmares or start wetting the bed.
• Avoiding the abuser – suddenly start avoiding a particular person or may seem afraid in their presence.
• Sexually inappropriate behavior – children who have been abused MAY behave in sexually inappropriate ways or use sexually explicit language.
• Physical problems – may develop health problems, including soreness in the genital and anal areas or STIs.
• Problems at school – difficulty concentrating and learning, and their grades may start to drop.
• Giving clues – children may also drop hints and clues that the abuse is happening without revealing it outright.

Dynamics of child sexual abuse

The sexual abuse of children is very different to that of adult sexual abuse and therefore needs to be assessed and handled in a different way.

Features that characterize child sexual abuse include:

• Physical force/violence is very rarely used; rather the perpetrator tries to manipulate the child’s trust and hide the abuse.
• The perpetrator is typically a known and trusted caregiver.
• Child sexual abuse often occurs over many weeks or even years.
• The sexual abuse of children frequently occurs as repeated episodes that become more invasive with time. I most cases, perpetrators engage the child in a gradual process - grooming the child and sexualizing the relationship over time.
• Incest/intrafamilial abuse accounts for about one third of all child sexual abuse cases.

Paedophiles are individuals who prefer sexual contact with children to adults and such persons are usually skilled at planning and executing strategies to involve themselves with children.

Child sexual abuse, also called child molestation, is a form of child abuse where an adult or older adolescent uses the child for sexual stimulation. The scope reflects the recognition that imposing sexual intent of any sort on someone against his or her will is an inherently violent act, regardless of the use of physical force or resulting contact or injury. 

A common misperception about child sexual abuse is that it is a rare event which "happens" to girls by male strangers in poor, inner-city areas. Not the case at all. It is a much too common among millions of children - boys and girls alike, rich and poor and across a range of cultures and backgrounds. In majority of the cases, the offenders, include women, men, trusted friends or family. Strangers are always a risk anyways.

Here are a few NGOs in India that work to help children with Sexual Abuse:

• Arpan NGO
• RAHI Foundation
• Sakshi