What You Do Is Not Who You Are!

Welcome to This Woman Can (and did!), designed for mature Black women embarking on their next chapter with intention and purpose, aligning personal values with professional priorities. Like what you read? Please be sure to subscribe to my email list to stay in touch.

I had the pleasure of being a guest on The Rutledge Perspective podcast and one aspect we touched on (we talked a LOT) is how we can sometimes associate our self worth with our career/title.

It's not difficult to see why, we work hard to get the job society views as prestigious or our loved ones would be proud to identify with and I was no exception! To say “I work for [employer]…” or “I am a [job title]…” made me proud and when I accepted a dream position as the first female CEO for a multinational media company my heart was bursting.

I felt like I earned the right to let those words slip off my tongue to show the world that I did it, I made it. But after a couple of years in the role, I realized that I was no longer in love with the job, which thus resulted in a life-changing moment.

While I felt burnt out and lacked the enthusiasm to work for them, I didn’t listen to my body and decided to hold onto the position because I loved how I felt accepted by others when I’d mention my position in conversations. It was an addiction. I felt like my identity was closely tied to this job, and if I’d lose it, then I was a nobody and I would have no proof of all my hard work.

However, being in the position wasn't making me happy and after some deep introspection, a few uncomfortable conversations, I eventually decided to leave. Not going to lie, I felt a huge sigh of relief. While one part of me wanted to hold on to something that wasn’t making me happy for prideful reasons, a weight was lifted off my shoulders because I was finally following my truth.

For most people, taking this step would scare the "ish" out of them: even more so if they’re let go from a job, it means they’re incompetent and their self-worth can take a nosedive into the pools of despair (yes, I’m also writing from experience).

But the one thing I realize is that my self-worth isn’t defined by a nice-sounding job, it’s defined by my values, my truth, and what happens outside the typical 9-5. Yes, it was nice to be associated with a well-known company and, I'm not going to lie, sometimes I miss the perks that came with it, but deep down I know that my career doesn’t define my identity, because the only approval I need is my own.

If you can relate to any of this, here are five reasons why you shouldn’t define yourself by your career or job — because, honestly, you're worth way more than a paycheck or job title.

1. Having a well-known job isn’t your only success: Working for a renowned company does look good on your resume, but that shouldn't be your only measure of success. The true measure of success derives from the ability to do something that you truly love, to be able to care for others, to overcome your greatest fears, or to find happiness. One person’s measure of success could look completely different than someone else’s and that’s okay. Ultimately, you should always aim to be yourself and not replicate what you believe to be considered successful just because of someone else’s journey.

2. Your truths and values are the only things you should be defined by: Wouldn’t it be great to not be judged based on your profession? Think of the first things we ask when we meet someone new, we want to know their name and what they do for a living. Why? Isn’t there another way to define a person? Your identity should be defined by what you love, what you dream of, what you value, and who you cherish. Think about it: Your true friends and family don’t care about what kind of job you have or how much you make. All they care about is your happiness.

3. Most jobs are a temporary state and can change at any moment: If there's one thing we should have learnt over the past two years is that life is filled with uncertainty, most of us believe we have complete control over our circumstances but we know that to be untrue. Today you may identify yourself as a hardworking professional, but four years from now, you may want to be a yoga teacher, giving lessons for a living. You just never know what kind of experiences you may go through and how they’ll change you. Nothing in life is permanent and there are more things that make an impact in your life than your career.

4. This is something you do and NOT something you are: Whether you work as a operator in call center or as a director for an conglomerate, these are things you do — they don’t define you as a person. There are plenty of ways to identify yourself, especially if you’re not in love with your job - sister, mother, wife, lover of kittens, blogger. At the end of the day, you should be known for the things you love to do and be, not for the type of positions you’ve held.

5. Lastly, other people won’t remember you by the job you have, but by how you make them feel: How you decide to treat others and express yourself says more about you way more than your job ever will. When other people talk or think about you, the thought of what you do might come up, but your personality and character will resonate with them more.

What are the telltale signs?

After reading this, take a few moments to just reflect on "How has your job encroached on your personal identity AND what one action can you take to change it?"?e.g.?Is your job the biggest part of your identity? Is it the way you introduce yourself/or understand yourself? Do you find yourself sacrificing relationships for work? Do you have trouble imagining being happy if you were to lose your job or career? Can you see a future beyond what you're doing now?

Whilst you may not be in a position to make an immediate change, being cognizant of how attached you are to your role/title will make it easier when you have to make that all important transition.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Janice Sutherland is CEO of award winning leadership development consultancy This Woman Can and is an expert at helping mid-career, professional women of color re-align their careers while staying true to their values and personal and professional priorities.?

As an award winning coach, she supports those women over 40 who worry about being on a path that they are not passionate about, helping them to find a role that is in alignment with their purpose. Ultimately becoming more deliberate with the outcomes in their life leading to more flexibility, choice and freedom.

UK born, Janice migrated to her ancestral country of Antigua & Barbuda, rising to become?one of the first Caribbean female CEOs in the Telecoms Sector, later pivoting careers to become an executive coach, international best selling author, podcast host and sought after speaker.??

She is the author of international best-seller?This Woman Can - The no bullsh*t guide for women who lead ?and host of the popular career podcast?This Woman Can .??

For more information email:?[email protected] ?or visit?janicesutherland.com?