What You Choose to 'Not Be'
You are the Average of the 5 People You Spend the Most Time With -- Jim Rohn
I start listing down all the people that I have known since childhood – family, teachers, friends, neighbors, classmates, colleagues, clients and alumni of different institutions. And there I go in search of people who averaged me out.
1. The Red List
I took a red pencil and crossed the names of all the people that I dislike. I choose not to think about them.
2. The Purple List
My purple pencil was reserved for the people I did not like, but needed for survival. I had to pretend to be cordial. There was no choice. Your boss and domestic help could both fall in this list.
3. The Blue List
Next, came a blue pencil to cross the people I do not actively like, but choose to interact with, being part of the same family or work set-up. Civility is the word here, not Need.
4. The Grey List
Then, I picked up a grey one, and just obliterated the cells. There were so many whom I neither liked nor loathed. I could live my life well enough, without them, and I do not see a need to acknowledge their existence.
5. The Black List
Now, I chose the thickest, blackest, darkest pencil possible, which could provide the highest degree of contrast to the white background of the template. These were the people I loved to loathe, but they lent meaning to my life, by juxtaposition. I have sworn never to be like them. They are the scum of humanity, but their existence highlights the ‘nobility’ of my existence. Maybe, they draw similar solace from my existence.
6. The Golden List .....
Read the remaining post at
No longer using Linked in as of 20th May 2021 - Thanks for the 7 years here to everyone. Learned much from you all on the way.
8 年IMHO The power of pruning is a wonderful thing, and if it is good enough for neurons it is good enough for our networks. At the center of my life is actually a Green List called Family/Home but it is good to surround one's home with gold. Even within my home, with every successive child getting married, my mother knows that the relational tree will grow - so she became the bad cop by making weddings the decision point of who is in and who is out. At the level of the golden list - since I purposefully live a socially low-maintenance existence, whether it is a social or business network, the value of long-term relationships does matter, as does the value of discernment and discretion. I have never been a collector of people and I also know that the world is full of diversity and even with the most conscientious pruning, the capacity for a stranger to surprise me is what I value, it is what I hold as important and that prompts in me a global citizenship view of the world - where work is no longer at the center of my life. Appreciation is and for me, pruning is the intelligence from appreciation.
I am figuring out in which list i would find myself in .A thought for pondering over. Zaidi
Owner at Creative Arts Therapies Services
8 年Reena Saxena, I was drawn into this post as I have been drawn into fables; you offered a "slice of life" and then left us with a moral, a thought that pulled it all together. Very illuminating and very well written Reena. Thank you.
Self employed with Vanapharm Consulting
8 年Each one is a sum of people, living with. However it is not like wt average, I feel, it could be whom we like the most to follow that matters most.Other circumstances including destiny if you believe so is at work. What we are is one thing. and what we want and wish to be also equally more important. Thanks for making us to think hard thru your post.
Personal Success and Leadership Coach | Career Strategist | Sales Mentor | Corporate Trainer, & Speaker | ??Top Emotional Intelligence Voice | Ex Banker & Sales Leader| Author, 'Contributor to Thrive Global'
8 年Awesome Reena Saxena, thoroughly enjoyed reading the post and shall include my reflections soon.. ..slightly busy with some engagements. Glad that I managed to read through :)