What YOU can learn from 31 yrs of ????(MINE)

In 2009 when I completed the self portion of my performance appraisal, the first question I had to answer was:

WHAT DO YOU FEEL YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS WERE OVER THE PAST YEAR?

My answer was: I survived!

I was so grateful ??to have just made it through the year!!

My Back Story

I had just been through an incredibly difficult time as a leader, including:

??the loss of a large contract

??a grievance filed against me by my staff.

I was beaten down, lacking confidence and struggling big time! ??

My Transformation

Somehow, I came through that year, partly with the help of a coach. Thank God for him!

He helped me to put my life in perspective and regain my confidence and direction?

At one point, my coach asked me this question:

What do you do when you are really up against an obstacle or a barrier.

And I answered him with four points.

??I pray ??

??I cry ??

??I research ???

??I turned to my best friend, my husband, Ernie ??

My HERO Helped Me Through It All!!!

In truth, Ernie's support was instrumental in getting me through.

I still, very vividly remember sitting on the couch sobbing while he played the song Hero by Enrique Iglesias??

Ernie was my hero and still is!

He got me through it!

Today's Story

This week marks our 31st wedding anniversary.

We are camping, like we always do for our anniversary. The lake is our happy place!

Our love ??continues to deepen, as does our friendship.

Here Is How We Did It

Ernie has always been my best friend since I moved in with him when I was 17.

?? We've had a tremendous amount of ups and downs, including some really, really rocky times where we didn't think we would make it.

But with a lot of persistence and focused effort, we did.

We now have 4 grown children, and 4 granddaughters, with another one on the way any day??

What Is Your Story?

My guess is you to have a partner that you love very much. But some days, it feels tough to love them.

Some days you want more than anything to end your marriage, walk away, or give up.

I certainly did many, many times!??

But if you're like me, something keeps you hanging on.

There is a hope that you'll figure it out. And that if you do, you'll find on the other side something incredible.

Trust me, there is??

It is worth it to work hard on your ??marriage!

Do The (INNER) work! It's worth it!

If you can weather the storms while you're fighting through a career, raising children, going through health issues and whatever else life throws at you and still stay married and still call that person your best friend, I believe that is an incredible success!

To do that requires you to do the same as it does to be a good leader!

???Take responsibility for your relationship.

Don't ?? play the martyr

Don't ??wait for them to change

Don't ??hope something will fix them

???Work on yourself and be the best spouse you can be. The rest will fall into place...in time!!!

???Resources to help you have a strong marriage

A few years ago, I made a video giving some ideas about how you can strengthen your marriage. Given this is my anniversary week with Ernie, I thought I would share it with you again today.

3 strategies to help your struggling marriage

More resources:

If you need some more help with your marriage, you might be interested in these books that helped me navigate my marriage

1?? 5 Love Languages

2?? Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs

3?? Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: And How You Can Make Yours Last

4?? The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship, A Toltec Wisdom Book

An exercise to strengthen your marriage

??Journal answers to these 3 questions:

• Why is it so important to figure out my relationship?
• What gets in the way of that?
• What will I do to get around that?