What Are You Avoiding?

Have you ever found yourself hesitating to take risks or avoiding challenging situations? You may be experiencing reactive avoidance—a natural response that keeps us within our comfort zones. Reactive avoidance is quite subtle and often tricks us into staying in our safe zone and not creating the life we want.

At the core reactive avoidance occurs because we expect to feel a difficult emotion if we engage with a particular behavior.

For instance, many individuals avoid asking for a raise because they fear the discomfort that may come from the conversation.

Taking risks is a part of life and understanding when we are avoiding them simply out of fear is crucial.

Here are just a few reasons why we engage in reactive avoidance.

1.The Fear of Failure:

One of the primary drivers of reactive avoidance is the fear of failure. We often worry about the potential consequences of taking risks, such as making mistakes, facing criticism, or experiencing setbacks. This fear can paralyze us, preventing us from pursuing opportunities that could lead to significant growth and success.

2. Comfort Zones and Familiarity:

Our comfort zones provide a sense of security and familiarity. We tend to gravitate towards what feels safe and predictable, avoiding situations that challenge our routines or expose us to uncertainty. While this may provide temporary relief, it limits our potential for growth and stifles our ability to embrace new opportunities.

3. Self-Doubt and Imposter Syndrome:

Reactive avoidance is also fueled by self-doubt and imposter syndrome, where we feel inadequate or believe that our accomplishments are merely a result of luck. These negative self-perceptions can hinder us from stepping outside our comfort zones and taking bold actions, as we fear being exposed as incapable or unworthy.

4. Perfectionism and High Expectations:

Perfectionism often plays a role in reactive avoidance. We may set unrealistically high standards for ourselves and fear that we won't meet them. This fear of falling short or making mistakes can hold us back from trying new things or taking risks, as we strive for flawless performance and fear the consequences of perceived failure.

Acknowledging and addressing reactive avoidance is essential for personal and professional growth. It starts with recognizing the fears and limiting beliefs that drive this behavior.

Cultivating self-awareness, challenging negative thought patterns, and reframing our mindset around failure and success are crucial steps toward overcoming reactive avoidance.

Oftentimes, I find it helpful to ask the question "Is it possible I am avoiding this out of fear?" To be honest many times the answer is yes.

This can be a tricky process because oftentimes reactive avoidance weaves a believable and logical story in our heads. Telling us things like "I'm too busy" or "It's not the right time."

How do you know you are avoiding? Avoidance is when you don't engage in a behavior and then the net consequences are negative in your life.

So if you are not building the life you want, it might be time to look at all the ways you engage in reactive avoidance.