What Year 1 of Retirement Looks Like: Easy as Pie

Is it?

Is retirement easy? Easy as pie?

Have you ever made homemade pie with homemade crust? From scratch?

Yesterday, I wrote a short article about why I retired way ahead of schedule. Today, let's move beyond the why and beyond the big adventures. Most retirees I know have some dream trip they have always wanted to take or some deep exploration they have always wanted to try. And they are waiting until retirement to do it. My advice is always - do it now. In fact, do it before you retire, why wait? I think the pandemic taught us there are no guarantees, so seize the day, seize the daydream. Go on - put it on your calendar and commit to planning and executing on that dream.

And when that big adventure is in the rearview mirror, the next question that always pops up with retirees I interview is, 'now what?' I took the river boat cruise, I saw the Pyramids, I scaled the Great Wall of China, I hiked the Grand Canyon, I visited beautiful Bali, I rested at the beach, I smiled at the Mona Lisa, I attended the Grand Prix, I drank wine in Napa and in France, and lastly (and most importantly) I spent weeks with my kids and grandkids. All answers I heard from retirees, followed by "now what?"

It's not uncommon for executives who retire to do one of three things: 1) Drive their spouse crazy, 2) Drive their kids crazy, or 3) Drive themselves crazy. All as a result of looking for purpose. As a former executive myself, I so get it. Just because the alarm no longer goes off every morning does not mean your brain turns off. In fact, often just the opposite. Once I dragged my body through RAGBRAI (that 517 mile bicycle ride across Iowa in triple digit heat) and got over the physical exhaustion, I found myself wondering how in the world I was going to spend my days.

It starts small. I'll clean the kitchen out. Wait, I'll paint the kitchen. Wait, I'll remodel the kitchen. Better yet, let's paint the entire house. Or, let's do all the little projects around the house I've put off for the last ten years because I was too exhausted from working so hard. Or maybe I should convert one of the bedrooms into my new 'retirement office.' Perfect! New office it is! Now let's sit behind the laptop for hours, take classes, get coached, do research, volunteer for nonprofits, or sell stuff, or scroll social media. That will work, right? Maybe.

I had a conversation with a former colleague, with decades of CFO experience, who I respect and trust. He shared with me it took him his first three years during retirement to finally figure out how he wanted to spend time. He tried several things only to find out he didn't care for them. When he finally landed on something appealing, he got certified and put up a plaque. His door was open. He was official. The only problem was, he then had to sell his services. And selling was just not his thing. He was not the first to share a story like this with me.

Another dear friend called me on her last day of work and said, "I feel like I'm standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon and staring at the abyss, with no idea what to do next." Also a very common statement I hear. Financially, she never has to work again. That said, she wants to give back. She also wants to rest. And yet another friend told me her husband keeps yelling at her to "get off the laptop, she's retired after all!" I've heard that from my husband as well.

So many retirees have just launched their kids only to become the caretakers of their parents. So many retirees are tired, burned out, or on the way to being sick. So figuring out a plan to heal, to be sound mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically becomes a priority. As this begins to unfold, that elusive purpose driven retirement also begins to come into focus. Or sometimes a complete pivot appears.

We all have a story. We all have different reasons for retiring. I shared my reason in yesterday's post, grounded in my husband's declining health. What I didn't share was my own health journey. Suffice it to say, after a pretty traumatic health scare a few years back and a family history of heart disease, I was on a track to disaster, and it was time to breathe. Time to pause.

That same friend who called me on her last day of work had a nickname for me: 'the duck.' Why? Because I would float along on the surface of the water - no waves, water clear as glass, but underneath I was paddling like he*l to ensure everyone had everything they needed. The boss, the board, the team, the husband, the kids, the parents, the friends, the list again goes on. The only person not on my priority list was me. Sound like any hard-working woman you know?

Time to figure out how to make this next chapter of my life healthy and whole. I started my weight loss journey before I retired and continue to be on it. It's a lifelong commitment to live healthy and strong. With high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and an enormous amount of stress, and 80 pounds now finally behind me, I can focus on helping others. Only this time, I can lead by example versus 'do what I say, not what I do.'

Did I retire for my husband? Or did I retire for me? Or did I retire for my kids? Or did I retire at all? Or did I burnout?

I call this part of retirement PHASE 2, YEAR 1: "the passion and the purpose."

Tomorrow, I will share retirement PHASE 3, YEAR 1. And you just might see this one coming.......