What The X Files Taught Me About No Longer Virtual

My sister started watching The X Files before I did. Our father actually approved because it was a show about a man and a woman working together with little or no sexual tension.

That derailed Moonlighting. Another story, another article. There wasn't much to say about the last No Longer Virtual. Many did not treat it as a full year relationship which it has become and should be.

I was told that one woman felt slighted by me. We were seated together, I was stuck in Strengths Finder which hits my system like being dosed with drugs. "I didn't know you get wet. Marijuana and PCP. I haven't tried it. You have."

My arbitrary "Strengths" from that vague questionnaire do not make me feel better. I leaned into humor and anything I could to change the subject. She stood there stone faced.

We hadn't really broken the ice. As I tried engaging with the group when the topic of pockets in dresses came up- I only learned women's fashion rarely includes pockets in the last year or so.

It was the topic of a LinkedIn post. She could have nodded her head and said "Interesting." Or she could have stared blankly at me. I have never been on a blind date. It felt like I was on one.

After different people set a standard of indifference at lunch- I exited with them, trying to listen and observe. One women blocked me from the group and eventually had them walk faster because she wanted nothing to do with me. Because of this degree of rudeness and indifference (one long time member was compromised by this act as well) I decided for the sake of survival I had to move to a different table when the afternoon sessions began.

When I am told this conference is a "Safe space"; it wasn't on Michigan Avenue. I was stunned by the behavior of many who mostly were there to build their brands and appear on podcasts.

The less said about the next day the better. At one point I had to walk across the room and the lady who didn't know what to say the day before was in front of me.

I am not a savage, no matter how some perceived me on that day. Asking to walk around, she smiled at me and let me pass. Normally this would not be a significant moment, sort of a "Dog bites man" scenario.

With the rudeness, indifference and utter lack of social grace experienced, this was a highlight. Fast forward a few months. Sarah and I were moving forward. Absolutely nothing I had problems with were her fault. She cannot control people who made cheap jokes at my expense acting like they were superior to me.

Using my sister's children as a reference- when they tattle to their father- all he can say to "She pushed me" is "Don't do that again." Sarah mentioned that I should have been nicer to the lady in question.

Since she doesn't post, I paid her little mind. About two-thirds of the people in that room disappointed me. Some seemingly stabbed me in the back. Others stabbed me in the front which feels worse.

The lady in question did not. I had no problem with her except minor silence in a room where no one else seemed supportive at that moment. It's forgivable.

Soon after this, she was made redundant. That stinks. She posted and I did not comment. Heather wrote her a glowing recommendation. Evidently they spoke and hit it off very well.

I heard about her "Emotional Intelligence." I must not have that because if she showed ten percent of what was revealed to Heather the following day I would have felt better instead of falling into the abyss of "Male mental health."

If you want to know how badly I felt when I took my popcorn and went home- as I was shaking in the hotel room not looking forward to one more night in the city I turned on the television. What was on except Star Trek V. I started watching and it made sense.

If your life is so screwed up that the weakest Star Trek movie levels you off; you are really far gone. Love and warmth is usually the currency at these conferences.

Except for hello and one goodbye embrace, the only hugs received in this cycle was one from Sarah after implying that I have the problem. I defended myself. If I have the problem, I can change my behavior.

If others look at me and stick their noses in the air as if I arrived to the conference on the short bus- there is not much I can do. As I pulled out, a quieter yet wonderful connection had given up as well on the cliques. Someone treated her poorly as well.

That's not what this conference is supposed to be. As I was shaking- I am not used to failing on such a grand scale- she held me. Did it change the course of the day? She did what she could and I am thankful for her.

It is amazing that some can show a different side of themselves and not reveal that to others. It remains to be seen if I shall see her again, if we shall connect (her redundancy came to me through a mutual connection) or if she is working now. Anyone could have put me on a better path at that point. What does this have to do with The X Files?

I Want To Believe