Purpose Series: What is wrong with "Finding Your Purpose"?

Finding your purpose is a hot topic these days. Wherever and whoever you turn to, there are discussions on finding your purpose, finding your why, and why everyone should pursue it. It's become such a sought-out topic that everyone around us is pursuing their purpose because we believe that’s the only way to happiness.

I started a series of bi-weekly sessions on Clubhouse—the new drop-in audio social media—where we talk about Living your purpose. We are trying to create a practical approach towards identifying your purpose and unveil the myths that have been bombarding us through social media. Thanks to Romain Guillaud for suggesting the topic. This article is a summary of the discussions we had on Clubhouse along with my experiences.

Before we begin let's start with defining purpose.

Purpose is the "reason for being". Purpose gives you the drive, the energy that keeps you going when the going gets tough Purpose gives you the feeling of fulfillment when you contribute.

Is purpose the same as passion? Simon Sinek says the purpose is driven by passion. Passion is the feeling. Purpose is what makes you experience that feeling. Passion is that desire which will keep you up @ 3 am to do what is required for you to achieve your purpose. Passion is the energy that will keep you awake and not the dollar you make.

As one of our panelists Maurice Hellemons mentioned; purpose is the North Star, it gives you direction and helps you understand the areas that you have to focus on to be fulfilled. He was lucky enough to identify his purpose at the age of 8, and ever since he has been working towards being a teacher and trainer. By the way, he was one of 5 panelists who found his purpose early on in life, so that's not the norm.

If this is what purpose is all about, why do all of you struggle with the idea of finding your purpose. One of the main reasons many of you struggle is because of the misconception you have about purpose.

So the first step to living your purpose is all about busting the myths around it and hence let us explore some of the myths stopping you from "Living Your Purpose".

 Myth#1: Purpose is "Lost and Found"

We are all desperately searching for it, as the purpose is something we lost to be found. I have been guilty of it, I have spent years searching for my purpose all around me when all that time my intuition was actually telling me what it was.

I ignored the inner voice that had the power to guide me and hence I was lost. 

I gave up searching and returned home, to realize that all this while the answer I was searching for was known to me. All that I had to do was a "Soul Listen"(as I call it). I had to spend time with myself to understand what is that I actually need to feel fulfilled and happy. What will be my answer to the million-dollar question, "What will you do if money was not an object?. To listen to that inner voice, I had to keep the outside world at bay, and boy, that was so difficult with social media and all the other influences around me.  

What will be my answer to the million-dollar question, "What will you do if money was not an object?.

During the soul listening process, I realized that from the time I was 15, I had this urge to give back to my community. I volunteered in school and college to help those around me, and during my initial working days, I wanted to go and teach kids in the slums. For some reason, I didn’t pursue it. The truth is I just shushed my inner voice thinking that purpose should be something grandeur. And years down the lane, I realize my purpose is still my urge to give back to the community. 

Myth#2: Purpose should be Grandeur

I was shushing my inner voice all this while because I always thought that something as simple as "Giving back to the community" isn't grand enough, impactful enough to change the world.

During my soul listening, the question I asked myself was, does your purpose really need to be grandeur for you to be happy and fulfilled? Should your purpose change the world in a day? Is my purpose for me or for others? Is my purpose for me to earn recognition or validation from others? 

Those are the questions that opened up new perspectives and made me realize what my true purpose was to "Give back to the community by transforming one life at a time." The revelation that your purpose can be simple as touching one life at a time gave me the courage to pursue it. 

The misconception that our purpose should be something bigger than life, that makes others look at us in "awe," stops us from taking action towards what we truly love to do.  

Sometimes your purpose might be to "Simply Live," truly living with all your mind, heart, and soul. Whatever it be, embrace it, enjoy it, experience it. Omran Al Habbal

 Myth#3: Purpose should be perfect. You need to know your purpose to live it.

If you are waiting for your purpose to reveal itself one day, you will be hugely disappointed. Purpose is not something that you find in a day (that again comes to the myth, purpose is not lost to be found). It is something that you experience and feels through different instances in your life. You have to experience life to identify and reinforce your purpose. And there is no Perfect Purpose. Your purpose will keep evolving as you evolve, your life evolves, the situations around you evolve.

As Jay Shetty, a former monk and host of the popular On Purpose podcast, says, “Give your purpose the space to grow, change, and deepen."

And that is why reflecting and "Soul Listening" is critical. Because you don’t find your purpose by thinking. You will only find it by listening to your heart, to your intuition, and by reflecting. You need to reflect on your life and the lessons learned from your experiences to identify your purpose.

Reflect on your learnings. Use it to calibrate, craft, and fine-tune your purpose. Use that learning to ensure that you are moving in the right direction. 

Founder and Executive Chairman of Xprize, in Forbes 50 Greatest leaders list, Peter Diamandis mentioned recently in a podcast that

" To identify your purpose, you have to experience life. Try different things. Do trial and error to understand what ticks and what doesn’t. You won't buy a shirt without trying it on. Why would you do that when you are trying to identify your Purpose? " 

 This means that you don’t need to know your purpose to start living it. You may discover that you are living your purpose when you experience life. So be open, experiment, and course correct. If you feel what you are doing is not what you want to do. Great..! Soul Listen, Reflect. Start over. It's better to start over than to be stuck in something you no longer love. 

Myth #4: Your profession should always align with your purpose.

 That brings me to the 4th Myth, which is finding a profession that aligns with your purpose. Most successful people have converted their purpose into a profession. The reason they are successful is that they love what they do. It's amazing if you can find a profession that aligns with your purpose. 

What if you aren't able to, due to your life circumstances? Do you kill yourself for that? No, I would ask you to consider the situation as a learning curve, an experiment, an experience. Don’t forget that experiences help you define your purpose.

If you can't find a profession aligned with your purpose, create opportunities at work that instills purpose.

Our panelist Sorin Sighinas loved creating communities that support each other, but he was working as a consultant in a Fortune 500 company. How can he keep himself motivated at work when his work doesn’t align with what he loves to do. He created public speaking and dance groups within the organization which was an instant hit and though his 9-5 job didn’t align with his purpose, his volunteering work helped him do that. In that process, he also realized what his true purpose was " Bring people together". That experience gave him confidence and connections to pursue something of his own later in his life.

 Remember you have the opportunity to live your purpose in every situation. If you don’t have the opportunity, create one. Not every profession needs to be aligned with your purpose, you can create instances in your life where you live your purpose which will fuel your soul to transpire that energy into other aspects of your life. Our panelist Heba Abusedou asked to consider those opportunities to experiment whether you have the skills, talent, and resources to convert your purpose into a profession. Once you have, take action to convert your purpose into your profession.

 Myth #5: One Life. One Purpose.

This is one of the most common myths. That you can have only one purpose in life. Who tells you that? Who are others to tell you what's right for you? If you have only one purpose, great..! If you have more than one, awesome. It's you and your life, you have the power of choice, no one knows you better than you. You might have different purposes based on different facets of life, depending on where you are in your life, depending on what you are capable of. 

Your career purpose may be different from your personal life purpose.

Multiple purposes can co-exist. Our search to find one purpose that satisfies all aspects of life is a dream killer.

If you are able to find one that can transpire to all areas, good. If you can't you don't have to worry about it. It's your choice. Don't let others dictate what is right for you.

If Steve Jobs had only one purpose, which is to contribute to the world by making tools for the mind that advances humankind; he would not have been equally successful in creating Pixar. He used his life and his experiences to calibrate, learn, and fine-tune his purpose and that’s what makes him the most successful entrepreneurs of the century. As Jobs says, "Don’t let others dictate what is right for you. Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

"Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

 You don’t have to know your purpose crystal clear to follow your intuition. Just trust the process, trust that it somehow knows what's right for you.

Live Life. Experiment. Experience your purpose in that process. Live your purpose in that process.

You can't identify your purpose by thinking about it. You have to experience it. Stop searching for it. Listen to your inner voice. Start Living. Keep an open mind and reflect on your life. You will then be able to identify your purpose.

Live. Experiment. Experience.

Hope I have changed your perspective on how you approach Purpose. Would love to hear your perspectives on the topic?

I am a Jay Shetty Certified Life coach focusing on Self- Mastery and Career coaching. If you are struggling to live your purpose, let us hop on a call and decide how we can work together. Drop me a message for details.

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