What would you do post-healing?
Hey, {{ subscriber.first_name }}! Hello from the sunny island of Sicily, where I joined the 1st Nomadic Sicily Festival and stayed longer to explore this island.
Just like Sicily, where Romans, Arabs, Greek and more peoples have left their traces, where volcanoes and seas come together, where messy infrastructure meets ancient ruins, where fruits in the most vibrant of colors grow on cacti: I'm at this point in my life and business, where all of my "problems" seems to come together and shake me to my core, while it also seems that I've had everything figured out and am fully prepared to thrive.
Full of problems or fully healed? The two sides of the spectrum seem so close to each other these days, that I'm often confused about where I actually am.
-
A lot of changes have been taking place: in nature, in society, and in my existence internally.
I'm changing my way of self-expression. I came to the realization that, how I was posting my real-time unfiltered feelings to LinkedIn on my phone, might not work for me anymore. I'm observing how the people around me respond to my self-expression, and I feel like more time alone with my thoughts and feelings.
I'm posting less on social media. I realized how part of my self-worth is still related to whether I get likes on my posts. I'm asking myself, how can I have fun posting on social media, instead of stressing out about my post performance, or turning it into just another job?
I'm reflecting on what I'm actually doing. I briefly talked about my journey learning, speaking and teaching 5 languages (yes, the masterclass on 30 October is still happening ??). Then, I realized that I can talk about and do so many things very well. Do I need to stick to one thing again (aka niching down), just to I get more followers? If there's such abundance in my talents and interests - what do I do, after all?
-
On the last day of the Nomadic Sicily Fest, I spent most of the time with another participant, dropping by shops with earrings and Tarot cards in Siracusa, sitting on the rocks by the sea, and having insanely interesting conversations.
She's done a lot of healing and came a long way over the years. As she came to a clean slate, she said she faced this paradoxical freedom and emptiness: after the trauma's healed, what's next?
The Tarot card I got from her on that day, said that I've accomplished a lot and already have everything I wished for. The card means satisfaction, and readiness to dive into the deepest of desires.
So her question is also mine: what's next?
I was so skilled at removing roadblocks. Solving "problems". Avoiding negativity. This perspective to life - which is, for a good part, survival mode - drew a narrow road in a forest full of predators. But as I arrive to the other side of the forest, where there are flowers, sunshine, and endlessly tasty fruits on the side of the roads just like in Sicily: when there's no problem to solve and nothing to run away from, what do I then do with my time?
Frankly speaking, "running away from predators" for all these years of my life before, was also just a perception. A perception, whether factually or psychologically, that is less and less compatible with my current state.
What would you do, when you already have all that you wished for?
When the whole world is open, the possibilities are endless, the resources are abundant, and you have all the freedom to do whatever you want?
Fairytales tell us that after all the challenges, "then they lived happily ever after". We spend much of our lives wishing to get there. But what if we're already there? And what happens in our lives thereafter?
I don't have an answer yet, in this paradox of everythingness and nothingness.
Nevertheless, I do know what to do in this moment, as I've learned in my 11 years of independent life and 6 years of therapy and coaching.
I won't rush for an answer, nor push for certainty. The only thing I will do, is to appreciate this beautifully paradoxical moment - and allow life to flow at its own pace.