What is Worthy of Your Dedication?

Dedication, devotion

Lyric from the song ‘Walk of Life’

By Dire Straits

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We live in a time of outrage in which identities are shaped by what we disavow. Rather than remaining open to engaging others and our environment, we rely on litmus tests about them to determine the degree to which we interact. We use this shorthand approach because we have not determined who we are or what we care most about.

Taking a stand for what you are unwilling to tolerate is not the same as deciding what you deem genuinely worthy of your commitment. ?For example, becoming an anti-racist is far different from trying to eliminate your biases.

Identifying your purpose and most highly held principles may not be easy, and it always merits your attention. As author Mark Manson claimed in his best-selling book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, ‘Finding something important and meaningful in your life is the most productive use of your time and energy.’ ?

Period, end of sentence. There is no need to qualify it. We do ourselves, others, and our Legacies a disservice when we forget this fact. And we often do.

What keeps you from deciding what is worth your dedication? What are the implications of relinquishing these choices? What gets released when you determine what is worthy of your commitment?

What Keeps You From Deciding What is Worth Your Dedication?

Choosing the few necessitates rejecting the many, which feels like loss to us.

We live in a world committed to distraction. Companies design their products and services to satisfy our insatiable appetite for the exciting yet inconsequential. The same demand that they created in the first place.

Clicking the links on our phones designed to release dopamine in our brains gives us quick hits of pleasure and diverts our attention from what we deem substantial.

We become addicted to the rush and esteem associated with being busy. The more demands placed on our time, the higher our perceived status, regardless of whether these activities resonate with our deepest desires or values.

Visions of the highly curated portions of people’s lives we see on social media leave us feeling inadequate. We want to fit in and stand out.

What are the Implications of Relinquishing These Choices?

The always-on environment and interconnected world obliterate boundaries and leave us weary, without time for reflection and time to think. Keeping your attention spread out ensures it remains superficial, leaving you no capacity for depth.

‘If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice’ wrote drummer Neil Peart in the lyrics to the Rush song ‘Freewill.’

When we avoid honing in on the few, anything and everything warrants our attention, leaving us depleted and empty at best and feeling frenetic, alienated, and disillusioned at worst. Consequently, we lose track of ourselves and the select things we genuinely care about.

The world and information age operate at a pace our brains cannot process. By not choosing what is vital to us, we open ourselves to being swept up in the catastrophes of the day, whether on the world stage, in our local communities, or within our organizations and families, without anything to anchor us.

Suffering is an unavoidable aspect of life. Yet, when we leave what we deem significant undetermined, we suffer pain without a corresponding purpose or meaning. Purpose and meaning are what give suffering significance and worth.

We become absent in our lives because we never clarified who we wanted to be and what we were willing to commit to.

‘You only get a few things to really care about,’ claims Nicholas Cage’s character Robin in the moving film ‘Pig.’

You can view the scene between the chef of an extremely high-end restaurant and the film's truth-telling protagonist by clicking the image below.?

*note - please stop video at 2:37

How do you believe the chef regards his choices? What are the implications for him? Do you think his tradeoffs were worth it?

What are the costs and benefits of your tradeoffs?

What Gets Released When You Determine What is Worthy of Your Commitment?

Defining your purpose frees up physiological benefits. If a sense of purpose enhances your personal health, imagine, by extension, how a collective purpose furthers teams and organizations.

Dedicating your attention to a few essential focus points reduces second-guessing, freeing you to channel your energies undistracted for fuller impact.

Narrowing your focus strengthens your stamina, increasing the resilience needed to overcome the inevitable obstacles and setbacks you will encounter in service to what you have decided matters most.

Mark Manson equates the process with choosing the problems and pain you want to endure rather than having them thrust upon you.

You only have so many f*cks to give during your life, so it pays to use them judiciously.

Paradoxically, honing in on the ones you care most about attunes you to opportunities to further them you would not otherwise recognize, thus expanding your possibilities. You cannot distinguish anything when you try to consider everything.

Devoting yourself to what you find meaningful makes you remarkable. Others recognize what is important to you, making them more likely to support you.

Deciding on the few allows you to respond with intention rather than react out of perceived necessity. ??

How can you live and lead with fewer regrets if you have not decided who and what is worthy of your dedication? Will your Everyday Legacies comprise what is consequential to you or made from a collection of what you think others expect and demand?

Determining the few things worthy of your devotion makes the difference.

Worthy Inquiries:

1.???? Is your identity defined by what you disavow? Do you confuse what you will not tolerate with dedication?

2.???? Have you identified who and what are worthy of your commitment and devotion? If so, can you identify them readily?

3.???? Do you equate business with status? How willing are you to unplug, replenish, and reflect? What holds you back?

4.???? How much time, energy, and focus do you spend determining what is vital and consequential? Does doing so make sense to you?

5.???? Would dedicating yourself to what you deem most vital make your suffering worthwhile? What could be more important?

Please reach out to me for help identifying and clarifying what is worthy of your dedication to benefit you, your family, your community, your team, and your organization. I welcome the conversation.

Robert Hackman, Principal, 4C Consulting and Coaching, helps people live and lead with fewer regrets. He grows and develops leaders through executive coaching consulting, facilitation, and training of individuals, teams, and organizations. He is committed to Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. He facilitates trusting environments that promote uncommonly candid conversations. Rob is also passionate about the power of developing Legacy Mindsets and has conducted over 50 Legacy interviews with people to date.

A serious man with a dry sense of humor who loves absurdity can often be found hiking rocky elevations or making music playlists. His mixes, including Pandemic Playlists and Music About Men, among others, can be found on Spotify.

Bravely bring your curiosity to a conversation with Rob, schedule via voice or text @ 484.800.2203 or [email protected].

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