What is worse and harder than facing your own mortality?

7 years ago today.

This was a special day out. The first one since my cancer diagnosis in September 2012 in the week of my 34th birthday. I was still in treatment with an average of at least three days a week spent with some sort of healthcare or wellness professional. At times, 5 days a week too. Most of those appointments were to manage the after-effects of cancer treatment.

It was a time when even though I had survived cancer, life felt hard. I mean...

What can feel worse than being kicked in your guts and facing your own mortality?

I know the answer to that one...

What is worse and harder than facing your own mortality is building your life back up. Bit by bit. Thread by thread.

Here are some of the things I remember:

??Learning about my new body and what it could do. Ironically, my body could not do most things. The challenge was to find out what it could do! For this half a day out, I had to muster all my strength and will power and later, I spent the rest of the week in bed.

??Navigating grief - mourning the loss of the life I had.

??Knowing that I needed to walk away from my old life and feeling scared of letting go. From what I remember, 'shit scared' describes it better.

??Navigating frustration on why it felt so hard.

??Coming to terms with a new body - Some people who had not spoken to me for several years noticed that my hair looked different; that my gorgeous hair was gone and yet other people were going 'Great pic, Parul!'...What the heck was the noise about? Yup! I know because they asked me. I noticed (felt and experienced) the loss of that hair too.

??Navigating an emotional roller coaster of confusing choices - Oh, the kind of choices cancer forces you to make!

On second thoughts, I take that back. The choices are not hard to make, they are only hard to live by.

e.g.

????Taking the chance at being alive or saving your fertility - you can have only one. LOL!

????Your life or weight. A big LOL! Some people commented on my weight during cancer. Thank you very much. I saw and felt my body grow heavier and bigger every day but chose life over a few extra kgs. I still live with the extra weight but only because I am alive.

The opposite does not/would not work!

But here is the thing...the amazeballs kind of deal!

Abraham Hicks says, 'Out of confusion comes clarity'.

This was such an awfully confusing time for me but it led to an amazing level of clarity...eventually.

From feeling completely lost where despite receiving a second chance at life (that I was immensely grateful for) and struggling to see and hear myself, through a lot of support and staying in the dark tunnel a long time, I made the decision to spend the rest of my life consciously...with joy and meaning...Helping other people be seen and heard.

Of course, the work always starts with us. So, I got the help I needed to see and hear myself. Qualified as a coach. Set up my coaching practice. Created a business out of it. Created a life. A new life.

Helped so many other people see and hear themselves so they could create the business and life they desire.

I continue to do so on an everyday basis. I share my story so you can see threads of your story in mine.

My life is far from perfect but it is good and I am grateful.

#wetellstories #storycoaching