What the World Needs Now

The lady with me in the photo is my fourth-class schoolteacher Mary Howley. We met for lunch the other day, one of many regular meetings since we first encountered each other when I was nine. I was a kid with really poor hand-writing, good at learning but would almost certainly have been diagnosed with Attention-Deficit Disorder in today’s education system. Up to that point I’d had some great teachers who did their best to keep me interested and motivated.

Mary was a class apart, making a lifetime’s difference to me in one short academic year. She was passionate and worked hard to make things fun and to encourage our love of learning. It helped that she indulged me no end: at one stage I was sitting in her classroom at a desk I’d constructed myself, beside my  fish tank and a large used crisp bag collection I’d gathered (No: even now I’m not sure what purpose the fish tank and crisp bag collection served, other than getting away with it!)

If you did a little bit of extra homework she would hand out Cadbury’s Eclairs. 1 page, 1 Eclair, 3 pages maybe 2 Eclairs. You get the idea. I went home one weekend and filled a 200-page copybook with information on all 50 US States from our encyclopaedia. By my calculation I was going to clean her out! I reckoned she’d have to hand over a wholesale carton of Eclairs for that much work. In the end I got a single tube of Eclairs for the effort, so while pleased, it did fall a little short of expectations, and taught me to get an agreement in place in advance in future!

She noticed that I was bored and suggested to my mother that she send me to some weekend classes for bright (read: bored, hyperactive, troublemaking) kids. The first few weekends of those classes introduced me to computers and started the love affair that has been the bedrock of my career since. Come to think of it, being a geek in 1980 was difficult: we had only two television channels, no Internet, no computers – I was a tech nerd before there was anything practical to do about it.

She must have felt bad about scamming a nine-year old out of a lifetime supply of Cadbury Eclairs, as coming close to Christmas she asked my mother if it would be ok to reward me by bringing me to her husband’s secondary school where he was directing an excellent drama production (complete with motorised, fluorescent painted robot). I was sworn to secrecy in school but got to go to her house, meet her Mom Mrs. Curtin, their big cuddly dog Milgo, hang out with her two daughters, get well fed (always great chips!) and go to the play that evening. Her husband Pat (a great Maths and later Computing teacher) also introduced me to binary numbers and his Commodore 64 during that visit. Those trips became a semi-regular occurrence and included an introduction to the theatre (at Galway’s Taibhdhearc), art galleries, gourmet food, the history of Galway and Ireland; we even made a trip to her home town of Ennistymon at one stage. All of this clandestine activity was alongside a packed and varied schedule that everyone in our class enjoyed including a trip to visit the nearby Oranmore Castle thanks to the generosity of the owners, or making sure we got to see the first launch of the Space Shuttle in April 1981 live on lunchtime television in someone’s house close to our school.

Behind the scenes my parent’s marriage was in trouble and there was a lot of background anxiety in the life of this ten-year old. Not that she knew any of that, but her love and attention brought a stability and predictability to my life with a clear message that I was both valued and special.

I moved on to the headmaster’s class for my final two years in primary school keeping up my daily contact with Mrs. H. Eighteen months later our family moved to a different part of the country and we stayed in sporadic contact. After I finished secondary school, she reached out to see if I would go to her daughter’s graduation ball:  I was still too geeky to consider that, but I did take a bus to spend a weekend with her and the family. I’ve been an adult for a while now (for a few years anyway) and our relationship has matured but she remains a great source of passion, inspiration and encouragement even now.

I was lucky to find people after that on my travels that supported and adopted, mentored or encouraged me in similar ways: Robert & Hilary in my teenage electrical shop years, Joan, Mick, Yvonne and Maurice in my early years at Irish Life, Joy and Betty in the ‘healing arts’, and many more unsung heroes. All of these on top of a strong base of loyal friends and family. This positive experience early on in my life opened me up to accepting kindness and generosity, and to be willing to ask for help. It also made me grateful so that I will freely give when I can.

Never underestimate the power of taking an unselfish interest in another person, of encouraging them to do their best, and doing so for no other reason than the joy of seeing them flourish. The harvest is very rich and satisfying.

While you may not be fully aware of their circumstances, an act of kindness of encouragement, or simply telling them the positive things you observe in them may be what’s needed for them to overcome self-doubt or poor self-esteem, and even better may point them in the direction of achieving their full potential.

I have a busy work and home life. A lot of the day job involves processing data, analysing ‘things’ and making decisions. The best days however, are those when someone reaches out for help, or an instinct that someone could do with some help, a chat, or some encouragement turns into a warm shared moment (what I call a “soul chat” when I get home to describe my day). Those are the best days.

Thanks Mary, for showing me many years ago what good looks like here, and to all those mentors and friends who followed you on my journey over the years. Good on you!

If you suspect someone may need something, have the courage to offer and if you need it yourself, have the courage to ask!

What the World Needs Now .. Is More of This