What wood turning a bowl taught me

My dad makes the most beautiful things from simple blocks of wood. Bowls, salad plates, chopping boards, lamps, tea light holders – you name it, he’ll make it. And of course, this is no surprise to me, I’ve always known because he’s always done it. But on a recent trip home, I started to reflect on the fact that, although he’s done this, all my life, hidden away in our garage, I had no idea how he does it. I see a block of wood and then I see the finished product, but none of the magic in between. So, this time on my visit home, I boldly declared I wanted to make my own bowl and could he give me a wood turning lesson.

What I didn’t expect was a life lesson.

After donning my wood turning PPE, I wanted to get stuck right in and could sense the mildest frustration when my father just wanted to get me started. That meant it wouldn’t be all my own work! But I pushed those feelings away and watched like the good student I am. And then it was my turn to turn! Momentary nerves, what if I’m rubbish? ruin this beautiful piece of wood? cause injury? Right push those thoughts aside. My confidence was low but my trust in my teacher was high, so let’s do this. What a powerful tool a lathe is! It was turning the wood so fast (even though I had reassurance it was on its slowest setting) and as I touched the chisel to it, it jumped and shuddered. Okay, my dad said, no problem, I just needed to readjust my hand and be a little firmer with the tool. I’m in charge here, not the lathe (he didn’t say that but I’m sure he meant to!) Okay, deep breath, here we go again, I can do this. And I could do this! I showed that piece of wood who was boss and as chisel met wood, chips went flying (hence the need for all the protective gear) and, slowly but surely, a bowl shape started to form.

We changed tool. My father took charge once again, “Dammit, now it’s going to be all his work again!” said the little voice in my head. I shushed it and said I was ready to have a go. This was harder, oh no, something new and unknown… AGAIN! But I got the hang of it pretty fast and once again, chiselled away at this beautiful creation. At one point I encountered difficulty, no matter what I tried the tool just kept jumping around on me. What’s wrong with me? I had this, why isn’t it working. Try again, still jumping, I’m thinking, I’m going to lose a finger here, or worse yet, send the tool flying into my father’s face. Confidence wavering, I asked for help and, dad’s hand on mine, the tool steadied itself and on we continued.

An hour in and we had a bowl. Now we just had to tidy it up. My dad asked what kind of shape I wanted and instructed me further on how to make that happen. And then it was time to sand, phew! This held with it no fear of injury. We removed my beautiful bowl (if I do say so myself) from the lathe and brought it to the kitchen for an oiling and a photo!

It’s not that I learned a lot about myself turning this bowl, it just brought to light that the things I knew about myself as a learner from long ago still stood, some just as loud and some I had managed to dull. So much time has passed since I have sought out learning a new skill, that I, perhaps naively, thought I had grown as a learner. After all, personal development is my game, I work hard to support others to identify what type of learners they are and help them find a way to push through certain traits and beliefs that are holding them back. But in myself I noticed that I wanted to be an expert straight away. My father pointed out halfway through the creative process, that most woodworking students don’t start at a bowl, they will spend weeks whittling pieces of wood until they have the feel of it. I put pressure on myself to have it just so, as it is in my mind’s eye. I also felt frustrated when my father had to step in, well now it won’t be MY bowl, he shaped that part! Shut up and sit down, inner negative voice!

My tendency to live life at a fast pace took from the opportunity to be mindful (which is exactly what my dad gets from this work) and the therapeutic nature of this activity. I live by to-do lists and tick boxes and this became another one. A good lesson, to slow down and enjoy the process. Yes, I have other things I want to achieve but right now I are here, so enjoy it.

And what about what’s changed in me since going on my own personal development journey? Making this bowl, I noticed that at the first sign of difficulty, I still had a tendency to want to quit. I can’t do it. It’s too hard. I’m no good at this. Questioning myself, what’s wrong with me? Why can’t I do it? As a child learning a new skill, early on, my confidence wavered, along with self-belief and determination and that was that, I would quit. But this time I stayed; feet fixed firmly beside the lathe. I said I wasn’t going back to London without a bowl of my own and I meant it.

In the past, fear often stopped me from doing new things, whether that’s fear of failure, or, in this case, fear of injury. After all, I didn’t want to return to London with one bowl but only nine fingers. But this time I did it anyway. I’ve thought of asking before to work on the lathe but was unsure of how I’d handle it. This time, I let go of the need to be in control and dove into the unknown.

Finally, I learned that I have neglected the part of me that needs to learn something new. When it comes to personal development and coaching, I never stop learning, reading everything I can get my hands on, joining webinars, booking masterclasses and this is important if I want to continue supporting others to live their happiest lives. But this is different. Learning a new skill is hard. You have to focus; you are accessing parts of your brain not often accessed. This is accessing creativity in new ways, and I don’t want to stop learning in this way. When we stop learning, we stop finding out about ourselves. I’ve been sitting in my comfort zone too long while coaching others to access their stretch zone. Now it’s my turn to venture into my stretch zone in new ways.

Creativity awaits!?