What women really want for Mother’s Day is dignity and respect in healthcare

Dr. Samukeliso Dube, Executive Director, FP2030

Kristy Kade, CEO, White Ribbon Alliance

Bouquets and brunch are delightful, but is that what your mom really wants for Mother’s Day? If you’re a mom – is that what you want?

Just posing this question may be perceived as a radical act: women aren’t often asked what they want. In fact, when we at White Ribbon Alliance started the “What Women Want” campaign and asked women what they most want for their maternal and reproductive health care, the initial response was often surprise or confusion. But when it became clear that we really wanted to know – and that we were going to act on the answers – responses poured in. More than one million women in 114 countries have now given voice to their demands and defined the changes they want to see in the world.

Several answers floated to the top, including better access to family planning services – it was one of the top twenty demands from women worldwide. These answers informed the White Ribbon Alliance’s commitment to FP2030 – a global partnership of governments and other organizations working to accelerate access to voluntary family planning globally.

Even more broadly, this commitment is an important step toward achieving what women said they want most of all: dignity and respect. That was the top answer globally: dignity and respect in accessing and using maternal and reproductive health care, and as the CEO of White Ribbon Alliance, I continue to hear from women how important this is to them.

In Malawi, Wezzie wants “A free environment where women can make choices without being judged.” In the United Kingdom, Jita wants “Equal rights for all women, no matter where we are from.” Rose in Tanzania says, “Women should not fear to speak up in society.”??

As the Executive Director of FP2030, and as a woman in South Africa, these desires ring true to me. When my grandmother first married in Zimbabwe in the 1920’s, she was a child bride of 13 and the groom was five times her age. When he died, she was still quite young and had to care for two children. Because her parents had passed away, she was told she should marry again — at the age of 17 — and have more children. Absolutely no one was asking her what she wanted, and she wasn’t treated as the decision maker in her own life — instead being expected to fulfill a path already put in front of her.

Not all women are mothers, and not all people who give birth identify as women. However, decisions about whether and how to give birth are central to nearly all women’s lives. And having the power to determine whether and when to have children is fundamental to every person’s ability to pursue the life that they want.

Access to family planning helps women claim the dignity and respect they need and deserve. Being able to delay pregnancy allows girls and women to continue with education and training so they can attain the credentials they may need to be taken seriously in the workplace. Spacing births two or more years apart helps protect mothers’ health. And being able to control the number of children they have helps women invest more time and energy into their families, their communities, and their own ambitions.

This past week FP2030 and White Ribbon Alliance were both at the International Maternal and Newborn Health Conference in Cape Town, and this theme ran throughout the week: if you want to protect maternal and newborn health, first ensure that women can plan and space their pregnancies. Then ensure that they receive client-centered, respectful health care.

Contraception is not the opposite of motherhood. Most people using contraceptives are, or will become, parents. Most parents use contraceptives at some point in their lives. Contraception ensures that women can be mothers and doctors. Mothers and artists. Mothers and athletes. Mothers and everything else they want to become. FP2030 and the White Ribbon Alliance are working together to make progress in ensuring access to contraception because that means progress for women’s rights, gender equality, and autonomy.

To help more women and girls claim the power to determine the direction of their own lives, the White Ribbon Alliance has committed to asking two million more women what they want. New campaigns will be designed, driven, and led by people often excluded from decision-making and whose sexual and reproductive health rights are frequently violated. With their guidance, the global family planning movement is about to learn first-hand what women and girls want and need to know to make autonomous decisions about their health, bodies, and well-being.

As another part of the commitment, the White Ribbon Alliance will engage participants in ongoing, direct action to promote practices, policies, and programs that advance and support these wants. This certainly includes improving access to family planning. It also includes investment in training and support for midwives, another top demand among the women we’ve talked to worldwide. Midwives, nearly always women themselves, help ensure rights, dignity, and choice in childbearing. While protecting the health and lives of women and infants during pregnancy and childbirth, midwives also help increase access to modern family planning.?

This Mother’s Day, please help us meet our shared commitment to find out and deliver on what mothers and all women really want. We invite women and girls – in all your diversity, including trans, intersex, and gender-diverse people – to join our new Women’s Health and Wellbeing campaign and add your voice to our survey. And we urge everyone to listen and act on women’s demands – today and every day – and join us in demanding more for women.