What if women didn't worry about being taken seriously at work when they announced a pregnancy?

Doing so might be the truest form of bringing your whole self to work

When I found out I was pregnant with my first child in 2007, I was thrilled. And also terrified.?

I wanted to shout my happy news from the rooftops, especially when I made it into my second trimester, since I’d already been through one miscarriage. But the risk-averse voice inside my head was petrified to inform anyone in my work orbit. I was worried I would no longer be taken seriously as a professional or that I would be passed over for the most plum assignments. So I put my head down and let my pants continue to get tighter and tighter…until I was nearly 20 weeks along and wearing elastic-waist pants for the first time since childhood.?

It didn’t help that a colleague and friend of mine (who was exactly the same number of weeks along) had gone public. I lost track of the number of times I heard people ask her if she was planning on coming back to work.?

Naturally, the day arrived when I had to spill the beans. Despite my anxiety, I actually did have confidence that my direct manager, who was a mother of two, would be excited for me—and she was. Thrilled, actually. But something held me back from sharing my joy at work. I only anticipated the negatives—and not because there was a culture of disdain for pregnant women at my company or among clients. Far from it.??

Still, as women, we are conditioned to worry about leadership losing faith in our ability to perform like our non-pregnant selves (and non-pregnant colleagues), both during and after pregnancy. We know the standard in corporate culture is based on a male executive workforce that doesn't ever get pregnant. We also know that, historically, pregnancy has been a moment when many women exit the workforce and many of those who stay witness a growing pay discrepancy between themselves and their male colleagues. The Motherhood Penalty is real.

So here’s a radical thought (actually, it’s a logical thought): Let’s ignite a profound culture shift—yes, another one—in which companies openly address the importance of talking about pregnancy. Let’s think of a new set of policies—call it, “the proud and pregnant program”—that is about the things companies can do to reassure pregnant people about their professional standing and future. If people could feel comfortable, even excited, about sharing the news that they are pregnant, we could be looking at a new paradigm for being a working parent, one in which pregnant people feel they are on the same team as their employer from the beginning of the parenting journey. If people feel supported in their pregnancies, they don’t have to spend energy bifurcating their parental selves from their professional selves. Imagine all the positive ways that energy could be put to use.?

I never want to give women more to do, especially when it comes to changing society. But I think it’s in our power to improve the situation around working while pregnant by changing the conversation and our own feelings about sharing pregnancy news. How can we get started? Let’s remove the fear of repercussions. Let’s acknowledge that, yes, life and people change when people become parents. Let’s normalize these changes (humankind cannot exist without them) and recognize that if we want tomorrow to be better than today, then we need to have a diverse workforce that supports all parents.?

Here are some steps I believe companies can take:

• Ensure both men and women take parental leave. Company culture should normalize it—especially at the management level so people see their managers doing it—and celebrate people when they return to work.?
• Prioritize teamwork. Of course, not all work can be team based. But when possible, a team-based approach sets everybody up for success, whether they are having a baby or managing a different major life event.?
• Make resources (like information about parental leave, ongoing family support, etc.) available to pregnant people and identify senior team members who are willing to talk about their own experiences navigating new parenthood.?

Here are some steps individuals can take toward shifting their mindset:?

• Remember, excitement is contagious. If women can feel comfortable—even joyful—about sharing the news that they are pregnant with management and colleagues, it could set a different tone for being both a parent and a professional—from the very beginning of the parenting journey.?
• Honesty is the best policy. When you are hiding something, it usually means it’s something to be ashamed of. And being forthright about your situation not only prevents you from having to keep a secret, it allows your colleagues to support you in whatever ways you need.?
• Assume best intentions. Your biggest fears about sharing your news will likely not materialize. Embrace the truism that we must create the world we want to live in.

Despite my fears about revealing my pregnancy at work and my insecurity about how I would handle new parenthood while maintaining my professional standing, I actually found that I felt much more connected to my clients after I returned from maternity leave. Having a child was a net positive to my career. I now had something in common with my mostly male clients—who at the time were on average 15 years my senior. Most of them had children and I bonded with them in a way that I’m not sure a round of golf together would ever have achieved.?

If I were to go back and do it again, I wouldn’t have hidden the fact that I was pregnant or even that I was trying to get pregnant. I wouldn’t have waited?to tell people the news until I could no longer fit into my pants.?

I am not suggesting there is a prescribed time to share news of your pregnancy at work. I know from my own experiences—and those of friends and family—that there are many factors to consider first. What I would suggest is that we work together to reduce the additional burden of worrying about work and about how others will perceive you and treat you. We are carrying enough weight as it is.?

I’d love to hear your ideas about how to reframe the conversation around pregnancy at work. #Tothetop