What We Say Impacts Everything

You’ve heard the adage, “Say what you mean, mean what you say”.

At Just Like Family, we take it to a whole new level. We don’t use our words lightly at all, because we believe they show others our values and how we want to be in the world. So, we’ve changed our language to reflect that.??

We often find ourselves explaining why and how we use certain words.? It’s because for us, what we say has massive ripple effects.?

Here is what we mean.?

CLIENT/PATIENT > LOVED ONE

The world calls anyone who needs a little extra support in the healthcare systems either a “client” (private companies) or a “patient” (publicly-funded organizations). It’s interesting that, in both cases, the system emphasises the person’s new label? over their personal relationships.??

When we begin by framing a person as someone’s “loved one” we start every relationship and conversation with the loved one by treating them like a human being worthy of being loved.?

Our caregiving team often tells us that our “clients” are nicer.? That makes us proud. We’d like to believe that part of that is how we refer to them.?

HELP > SUPPORT

The opposite of help is helplessness. Feeling helpless may make a person question whether they’re adding value. This could lead to not feeling appreciated, especially if those around them don’t uplift the value that they do bring.?

We use the word support, where the opposite is unsupported. This is more in line with what we see in the world:? our elders are not helpless, they are simply not supported. Having a therapeutic relationship with family caregivers and professional caregivers is possible when we see each other as valuable and contributing to a mutual relationship.??

SENIOR > ELDER

Ageism is real. It shows up in almost all parts of our world and its social systems. We can dramatically shift our thinking about seniors and their potential to contribute when we:?

• Reframe seniors as simply “aged”, as they’re often envisioned already.
• Replacing “senior” with? “elder” in our vocabulary:? a person who has experience, listens carefully, and can provide guidance.

Try it and see how it works!

FOR > WITH

Often we’ll use the phrase? “doing something for someone” without thinking about it. It creates a dynamic that? we’d like to try to change by instead saying, “doing something with someone”.?

Often the loved ones that we work with want to continue baking, folding laundry, and participating in activities that support their independence. We always look for opportunities to do things with, rather than for, our elders.?

What we often find when we do this is an increase in the stories, the knowledge, and the value that they bring to our caregiving team. Some stories include learning how to play a new game, baking a famous family recipe together, or doing a craft together )including painting or rug hooking). This mindset increases creativity in what the time between loved ones and their caregivers can look like.?

BUT > AND

Anything you said before you use the word “but” is automatically dismissed with that single syllable. Our team constantly catches ourselves turning “buts” into ands”’, making every statement that follows additive rather than subtractive.?

Try this one at home! See how it changes how you think and (more importantly) how it makes others feel when you speak with them.??

AGING WELL > LIVING WELL

Aging well is centring the age and tied to the mindset of something that has a negative connotation.? We aren’t just aging as human beings, we are living every day!?

ME/I/MY > WE/US/OUR

Did you notice that we’ve used the word ‘“we” throughout this entire article?. Not “I”;? if only one person was following these rules there would be very little change.? We all must use language and mean what we say in order to see the difference in the way we operate and interact with each other.?

Why does this all matter?

Now take, for example, the following phrase:?

“I help my clients with aging well by helping seniors with their difficult tasks.? I’ll even make dinner for them.”

Now, magically, we transform into the language that we use at Just Like Family Home Care:?

“We support your loved ones with living well by supporting our elders with anything that would make their lives easier. We’ll even make a meal with them and have a pot of tea.”

The things we constantly repeat to ourselves become our operating philosophy.. For us, being a “people first” organization means our language should reflect that.