What we are is what our children learn

Children learn more from what you are than what you teach. How many of us as adults realise this statement, I wonder?

When we lived in joint families with siblings and cousins all around us, parental needs, support, counseling was never felt. With nuclear or smaller families becoming the norm now, we get to hear these words much more during these present times. So, when did things change so drastically? Was it not an issue back then, or is it just that we didn't know of it?

Being an educationist since 20 years now, I have seen many students over the years. When I meet some of them today, they are a transformed version of their school days. Many of whom I knew as shy, timid children with stage fright, are now trainers, dancers, theater artists, quiz masters etc. Parents who once were apprehensive about their child's choices are proud of them today. But most of these kids had one thing in common, a parent's? undeterred confidence in them to allow their child to fail and try again.

That's one major reason, 90% of the time, the average child at school usually is the one who survives not only the rat race in their career but also thrives in it. Maybe, that's why we always say parents play a major role in shaping a child's future. The confidence a parent can instill in a child is definitely far greater than any other influence

SOME OF THE EFFECTIVE WAYS

TO HELP YOUR CHILD BE HAPPY AND CONFIDENT ARE TO?

Allow your child to make mistakes, don't

jump in to help them complete a task. They should always realize that mistakes are ok and they need to learn from them. Perfection comes only with practice, so they should focus on consistency than

completion of task

ALLOW THEM TO MAKE THEIR DECISIONS

What dress do they want to weaг, or why you do not want them to wear it, reason it out for them. Let them know that your "NO" has a valid point.

SPECIFIC AND RELATABLE INSTRUCTIONS

Most of the time, we as parents are clear. There is ambiguity in them. For example: "clean your room, my 15-year-old's instant reply to this is, "which part of the room do you want me to clean?". I was astonished at that point of time, but thinking over it, I realised that I need to be more precise and clear with my instructions.

BE CONSISTENT

Reprimanding the child for using foul language sometimes and giving it a deaf ear at other times will only give the child the signal that it's fine to continue to use it.

REWARD THEM

Give them incentives/stars/points or extra playtime when they complete a task. Like, cleaning the vessels, running to the shop for simple errands, taking the dog for a walk, making their bed well for a month. etc. This will make them value and have a sense of dignity of labour. Set examples to show that no job or work is small or?

demeaning, and everything has its own dignity. We always say that children are a tiny version of their parents, and they learn more by watching. So, as parents you will really need to understand that if you are using cuss words, you are likely to hear your child use them one day. The way you treat the maid, will be the same way they will treat others too.

It's a journey of learning everyday...

Happy parenting!

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