What We Get Wrong About Longevity

Does your routine include frantically squeezing in a quick workout between meetings, wolfing down a "healthy"?lunch, or sacrificing sleep to spend time?with friends? Welcome to the modern pursuit of wellness, where we've somehow convinced ourselves that the very elements that make life rich and fulfilling are luxuries we must "steal"?time for. It’s a peculiar irony of our age - we have time to scroll through social media yet struggle to find moments for genuine self-care. This constant juggling act reveals a fundamental misunderstanding about what constitutes a well-lived life.

What if we considered the totality of our quality of life as the true meaning of wellness??Wellness isn’t just about physical fitness or nutrition - the visible parts of the proverbial longevity iceberg. Wellness includes those foundational aspects below the water line—our relationships , personal growth, community service, and, dare I say, having fun!?The problem lies in our increasingly reductionist view ; we focus on gym visits or implementing optimal diet plans and neglect the less visible but equally crucial aspects of our overall health. Herein lies the important distinction between lifespan, the number of years most of us strive to live, and healthspan, the quality that makes those extra years worth living.

In 1948, the World Health Organization defined health as "a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity."?This groundbreaking definition paved the way for visionaries like Halbert Dunn, who wrote "High Level Wellness"?in 1961. His book, rescued from the?clearance table at a used book store, inspired the creation of The Wellness Resource Center right near my hometown, in Mill Valley, CA. Shortly after that, the term "wellness"?entered our collective consciousness. Yet, it is still largely misunderstood.

It’s time to dive beneath the surface and?debunk?five of the most common misconceptions about wellness and longevity:

1. Family History and Genetics Determine Longevity

While genetics play a role, lifestyle choices are responsible for a whopping 70-90% of?healthspan. The daily decisions we make about how we eat, move, think, relate to ourselves and others, and interact with our environment?impact our wellness much more than our inherited genes. This is one of the reasons I've doubled down on my involvement with some of the very best institutions studying the role of lifestyle as medicine, including Stanford Lifestyle Medicine and the American College of Lifestyle Medicine .

2. We Have To?Do Everything We 'Should' Do

While expert advice is essential, it's crucial to remember that in many cases,?what works for one person may not work or may not be sustainable for another. I have been exercising daily for so many years (which doesn't necessarily occur in a gym) that a day without movement feels unnatural. For Alex, finding the time for physical activity has always been an effort. After many years, it's become something realistic for Alex?4 days per week. Who is right? We both are because it's about something other than what we should do but what we will realistically do.

The concept of bio-individuality—that each person's unique genetic makeup, lifestyle, and environmental factors influence their specific health and wellness needs—reminds us that we are each an "experiment of one ." Our?optimal path to meaningful longevity may look different from others, and that's perfectly okay. What's important is to challenge ourselves to live our best, healthiest lives, imperfect as that may be.

3. The Longest Possible Life Is the Goal

Our fear of death can paradoxically lead us to stop living fully. Some of us?become so focused on extending our lifespan that we forgo?fully living!?In a few weeks, I'll attend the "Don't Die Summit"?to learn more about how one's focus on avoiding death?can (or cannot) include living?a beautiful life today. Some leaders in that space seem to spend so much time avoiding calories, carbs, connection after 6 pm, and the like that I question their quality of life.?As Steve Jobs noted, "Death is very likely the single best invention of life. It is life’s change agent."?Embracing our mortality can motivate us to live more authentically and appreciatively.

4. Diminishment Is Inevitable

Make no mistake about it: our ability to remain independent is crucial. But we've become so enamored with the idea of living longer that we sometimes forget to ask ourselves what we're living for. Last year, I posted a query on Facebook asking if people wanted to live to 100 and why or why not. Their responses were more split than I anticipated. Those whose loved ones were extremely frail or incapacitated tended to reply, "No, thank you." Roughly 70%, however, answered affirmatively, albeit with qualifiers. Few of us would disagree; the long game must be worth it. The real target should be optimizing for what matters most, cultivating a highly personal?version of a life well-lived, not just long-lived. Fortunately, research has identified 7 lifestyle levers that will help you flourish throughout your life.

5. Personal Energy Is A New Fangled Concept

I'm a New Yorker, so believe me when I say that accepting the concept of personal energy as important to long-term health and wellness took me a long time to accept. But it's true. As a coach to high-performing leaders and an advocate for living a life as healthy as it is long, I understand that energy matters, how we feel matters, and being in tune and attuned to?our bodies matters. Understanding our energy dynamics is crucial for creating sustainable, long-term behaviors based on the moniker Lifestyle is Medicine.?Our personal energy is a reservoir, not an ocean.?

Whether you lead?a?company or?lead your family, are?involved in your community, want to change the world, or, perhaps, all the above,?understanding the true elements of wellness and longevity are foundational to your success. The secret to a well-lived life is to?create?a life you crave—filled with wellness —the real, high-quality kind of wellness whose description was rescued from a clearance table many years ago.