What We Don't Repair; We Repeat

Human beings have a unique ability to return to unresolved situations. Unwittingly, we can recreate situations in our families, workplaces and communities where we replay previous hurt. It's like we are stuck in the movie?Groundhog Day?looking to get it right this time.

Your inner life as a leader matters to your work life.?Until you find perspective on those areas of disruption, you will build organizations around you that replicate that un-health.

How do I change this?

Talk to someone with perspective:

Therapists, counselors, coaches and spiritual leaders are helpful resources to process the past and to spot patterns. Simply talking helps, but change is forged with trained and skilled professionals who can guide you in the work of altering those patterns going forward.

Build real friendships:

Friendships are not merely people with whom we share a common interest. Friends are people who reciprocate interest and persevere with us. There is an old-fashioned word, longsuffering, that captures true friendship. It means someone who shows patience in spirt of troubles. Investing in these relationships that last empowers us to change because we have another who shares some of our experiences, sees our lives as a close observer and who cares for us regardless of our foibles. This perspective empowers us to see ourselves as others do.

"Know Yourself"

Socrates when asked to summarize?all philosophy, replied, "Know Thyself." Many of us are strangers to ourselves. We rush, we work, we fight mostly, it would seem, to avoid ourselves. Another philosopher, Blaise Pascal, wrote,?"All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone."

This is why quiet is so vital to a leader. Cultivating internal awareness through breathing exercises, silent prayer or meditation reconnects us with the person we are. We grow aware of our true self and begin to spot the false self and its phobias. We grow more patient with waiting for things to reveal themselves, rather than forcing a premature response. We begin to care for our bodies and not to despise them.

To those just starting their leadership journey devoting time to this kind of inner work may seem like a waste. But the longer it is avoided the more time is wasted repeating, rather than repairing.

Perspective

Friendship

Self Awareness

What next?

Pretty much that is it, but it also helps to have a tribe of other people focusing on these same goals. I began writing The Nonprofit Leader Newsletter for that reason. I wanted to connect with others who were on this same odd journey of leading - people who resonated with these themes, people who faced similar challenges and, frankly, people who were making a difference in the world.

I started the newsletter here on LinkedIn and built a following (31,000 of you), but over a year ago I moved the newsletter over to Substack. That is where I post new content weekly and engage with readers. I want you to join that conversation and community. So... here is a 20% off the annual subscription to entice you :) $24 is all it takes to step into a place where your work is seen, known and understood.

See you over on Substack!