What are the Ways to Find Your Life's Purpose?

I recently had much fun watching the animation film Moana with my kids. The movie is about a little girl (of course named Moana) - the daughter of a tribal chief in a Polynesian island. From her childhood, she imagines that ocean is calling her. She doesn't really know why, but she is pulled towards the ocean. Her parents had forbidden her from going near the sea or sailing in it.

She notices that everyone is happy in the island and they have a role to play (in her words, "everything is by design"). So, she tries doing many other things, but her heart leads her back to the ocean. After undergoing much internal struggle, finally she decides to follow her heart's desire and starts exploring the ocean. She chose to follow her life's path, and the rest of the movie is about her amazing adventure in the ocean.

In this movie, Moana clearly identifies her heart's desire and is courageous enough to follow it. Now let us take a step back and play a mental "what-if" game.

• What if Moana "suppresses" her heart's desire and decides to "go with the flow"?
• What if Moana "succumbs" to parental pressure and becomes tribal chief?
• What if her parents die in her early age and because she is the rightful heir, she is "forced" by her tribal community to become their chief?
• ...

Of course, as a good tribal chief, Moana could have made her tribe strong and powerful. She would enjoy good social status, have power and people to obey her. But deep down her heart, she will be unhappy and feel a sense of void. In fact, that is exactly how the beautiful song "How far I'll go" describes her torment and longing for the ocean (her hearts calling):

"I can lead with pride, I can make us strong

I'll be satisfied if I play along

But the voice inside sings a different song

What is wrong with me?"

In other words, she would be successful and appear happy to others, but at the huge cost being deeply unsatisfied inside. When she touches her mid-forties or fifties, it would have become harder to recollect her childhood "pulls" and would have lost touch with her true self. The sense of lack of touch with her "inner-self" and "not living her life's purpose" will torment her.

In fact, that is what precisely happens to most of us! Sad, but true.

How Moana finds her life's purpose is instructive to us: when we look at our childhood pulls (like Moana's pull towards the ocean), we can find our life's path. That's the idea of the article I had written earlier that is available here.

When casually interacting with people I know, I was surprised to find that the article resonated with many who have read them. However, many of them apparently had a problem: they weren't able to clearly recollect their childhood memories or identify their pulls!

The answer is, you can still find your life's purpose. How? It is to find what your heart gravitate towards!

If you honestly answer these questions, you can find what your heart gravitates towards:

1. Imagine that you are retired and have earned all you desired from your career like wealth, fame and status. You have also discharged your family duties like getting your kids married and taking care of your parents. Now you are free, and are blessed with great health. Given that you were deeply unhappy about your life so far and felt a sense of void, what would you really like to do for next few decades to keep yourself happy? Is it music, crafts, arts, meeting friends, teaching students, writing, reading, playing with electronics, learning magic, travel, ... What is it that you would like to do?

2. In your decades of life, who is that you were so impressed that you really wanted to become someone like that, sort of a role model? Now dig deeper.

• What specific aspects of that personality make that person so attractive to you?
• If there are many of them, what are their common attributes?
• ...

3. With whom did you feel intense envy or jealousy (other than the ones that relate to selecting life-partners or materialistic things)? Of course, it's a negative feeling. But it is insightful because what you envy shows what you deeply value or care about. Dig deeper now. What specific attributes made you feel envious or jealous? If you had to find that attribute in another person, will you feel envious or jealous towards that person as well?

When you string the answers together, you get a clear idea of your life's path. Assume that you always dreamed about exploring and travelling to exotic and remote places. It is travel that excites you and makes you feel that you are living your life. You were attracted even to ancient travellers like Marco Polo who visited strange and unusual places (in his times). You felt intense envy when you came to know that your friend works as a writer in Lonely Planet and is paid to travel and write about his experiences. This gravitation towards travel indicates that your life path is to explore the world.

Once you identify your path, it is up to you to take it in your own way. You may not make much money - but you can still make your living. You may have spent so much effort, energy and money in learning skills that may not be useful now. But the earlier path didn't give you happiness and satisfaction - so what's the point in continuing that further? You may have no experience travelling on your own and come across difficult situations. But even if you have to struggle hard or overcome obstacles in your path, you'll enjoy it and not get frustrated with it - because it is called adventure.

“Working hard for something we don’t care about is called stress; working hard for something we love is called passion.” (-Simon Sinek)

Now, you can perhaps list down many reasons why you cannot choose travel as your life path. Age, physical disability, financial factors, family commitments, .... Of course, because of your current commitments or priorities, you may not be able to make your move right away. But once you discover your life's purpose, you can gradually make that move. You can be creative in leading yourself back to your original path. You can explore doing anything and everything related to travel to see what works for you. (Example: you can perhaps start with curating video content available in the internet related to travelling in your free time and make it available to everyone for free).

A common reason I see people give as an excuse not to live their life's purpose is age. But it is never too late to live the life in your terms and excel in that.

• Julia Child discovered her passion for French food in her late 30s. When she tasted the French food in a place named "Rouen”, she felt as if it were a revelation to her and described that experience as “an opening up of the soul and spirit for me." It was in her 50 she wrote books and ran shows in TV that made her a celebrity. 
• Gradma Moses She started painting at the age of 78! Here is her painting sample. Do you think you are older than that to start?

“You were put on this earth to achieve your greatest self, to live out your purpose, and to do it courageously.” ― Steve Maraboli

Living your life's purpose may or may not bring you fame, fortune, or status. But that will make you happy and give a deep sense of satisfaction. If you already have fame and fortune, and still weren't happy, then what's the point in chasing it? If you don't have fame and fortune, when you follow your life's path, that is the best possible avenue for having a joyful journey and as a side result, you get fame and fortune. What else could you want?

Everyone has to choose a path for their life journey - but instead of choosing a path that others have travelled, why don't you choose to go in your own path? Why not take control and live the life you always wanted?

Credits: 1. This article has ideas derived from Susan Cain's excellent book Quiet. 2. The Gradma Moses drawing is from this link.

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