What A Visit To The ER Taught Me About Success

It happened, I finally stepped out onto the court. I’m two weeks away from turning 40, way out of shape, staring down at the barrel of time in the form of five 23 year old’s, barely breaking a sweat, sizing me up, hoping they won’t be forced to play with me on their team. I don’t blame them at all. I’d do the same.

That used to be me, I say to myself. Now I’m the old dude. It’s my turn. Time is the only foe who is undefeated.

I haven’t played basketball in years, and without sounding too immodest, I wasn’t a bad player when I was young and in shape. I was a big guy who could shoot the ball from the perimeter. Sort of like a Charles Barkleyesque player. If you’re reading this and you don’t know who that is, don’t worry about it. I’m really going to feel old if I explain. Google him.

The young dudes were actually cordial, and I got picked up by a pretty good team and we played a simple game of three-on-three.

After about ten minutes of play, I felt like I was going to throw up. Yes, that’s right, I know what you’re thinking: Really? You’re not even playing full court and you’ve barely played four points and you’re done?

Yes! I am not proud of this, and it’s difficult to even write this sad fact right now. But Yes, I was pretty much done after five points, but if there is anything redeeming I can say it’s the fact that I didn’t give up.

I tried real hard to pretend I wasn’t done, but the youngans could see my weaknesses and they pounced on them, rightly so. I missed shots I used to make, but some of the old moves (I had a famous fade away back in the day) were still in tact. I managed to not embarrass myself too much, and my team actually won the first game despite my contribution.

We played three games (I told you I didn’t quit; was I panting and heaving? Of course! But I didn’t quit) and started a fourth when it happened.

I ran up for a rebound off a missed shot and when I came down with the ball, so did my opponents grizzly bear hand smacking at the ball. And I felt it, as I have almost every time I played in the past when I didn’t bandage my fingers, the cool, unassuming slip of the fore-pinky dislocating from the rest of the branch.

This has happened before, and not to get too clinical, but as soon as you dislocate something on your body, anything, the chances of you dislocating it again are high. I’ve probably dislocated my left pinky finger more than a dozen times.

So I wasn’t surprised when it happened, and even joked about it with the other players, showing them the deformed finger, waving it in their faces, acting cool, like it wasn’t fazing me at all. Which it really didn’t.

Was I annoyed? Absolutely! But, it’s usually no big deal and I can pop it back in place in no time and I was looking forward to getting back to the game because I was finally able to catch my breath, and my second wind.

But this was different…

It wasn’t popping back into place, and I was pulling with all my might at one point, making my head feel a little lightheaded.

Why wasn’t this working? Annoyed meter rising. I thought maybe after I hit the shower, maybe some heat would do good and loosen the tendon. No difference.

My wife grabbed the kids out of the Kids Center and luckily we didn’t live far from the gym and after dropping everyone off, I headed out to the Emergency Room at Kaiser Permanente.

I probably do my best worrying in the car. Something about that hunk of aluminum and rubber trudging down the asphalt sends my mind off to stressville.

I had a planned live stream on my YouTube channel that evening, and having a lot of experience with doctors and medical emergencies already (I have two young kids ages 4.5 and 3) I knew this wasn’t going to be easy.

In the past, doctors were allowed more leeway and authority, and weren’t threatened by persistent litigation?—?there was less bureaucracy and more doing, more active intent, more execution.

But these were different times, and policies, politics, waivers, fees, and endless dehumanizing administrative hindrances drowned out the doers and turned them into passive enforcers whose sole focus was an avoidance of any salient misstep rather than brazen initiative.

In other words, everybody lost their balls in the 21st century. And who can blame them? Certainly not me.

So on the drive my thoughts drifted to endless tests, unnecessary X-rays and scans, which end fruitlessly as always, waiting rooms, time passing needlessly, wasting away, having to postpone my live YouTube show?—?and then my mind turned a darker corner: a reluctant acknowledgment of my age, health, a creeping inching along toward middle age, the forlorn fact that I couldn’t fix this myself as usual and what that implied.

These mind tsunamis, if gone unchecked, can shape behavior, shape reality, and shape major decisions you make for your life?—?which can either result in damaging self obstruction level thinking or a deep, rooted understanding of the nature of mind, and what adopting a Growth Mindset can unveil about who you are and how you shape your path to success.

Are you somebody who avoids challenges in order to maintain a certain image that is less scrutinized by those around you?

Or do you face those challenges with an embracing openness, ready to observe and adapt, test yourself, what your limits are, and learn from them?—?seeing them more as a method toward self improvement rather than a fearful hurdle that spells doomsday?

This is about recognition?—?something we don’t talk enough about in our boardrooms, gyms, classrooms, offices, and homes.

Recognizing what self-defeating mechanisms are at play in our lives, and how we can productively go about addressing them is at the cornerstone of every successful entity, from individuals to high level organizations.

Everything in our lives, all the joy and pain arises from one epicenter: The Mind.

It would behoove us to take stock in ways in which we can strengthen our resolve, adapt to a more productive mindset, and learn how to relinquish unnecessary stress.

When I arrived at the hospital, I was greeted by the staff cordially and did not have to wait long at all. I was immediately seen by the Doctor, even though they were relatively busy and mine wasn’t a dire emergency, just my only option due to the time of my accident being late into the evening.

He was a ninja! So warm, kind, optimistic, and understanding. The first thing he did was grab my crooked, oblique finger after I explained what happened, and for lack of a better description: began to play with it.

It was painful, and I tried to laugh it off, but I was more impressed with Dr. Jin’s bravado, his take action mindset, that I grit my teeth, bit my tongue, and allowed him to do his thing unimpeded by my complaints.

He exuded confidence. “Yeah, I can feel where the tendon is caught on the bone,” he said casually. “Does it hurt?”

“Shit yea!” I wanted to say, but didn’t. I was just so enamored at this point with the way in which he took care of business.

“I’ll be right back,” he said.

I started getting more and more nervous, thinking about what he said about the bone and tendon, and things getting stuck. Surgery came into my head, long hours of rehab, long hours waiting, cancelling things in my life I didn’t have time nor the want for.

He returned with a giant needle and began to stick my finger several times.

“Sorry,” he said as he injected the numbing serum. “This will help with the pain.”

After a few minutes he started to tug, pull, shift, play with it. I couldn’t feel anything. Then I heard him say, “There it is, got it.”

And immediately I could feel my little pinky come to life and movement was restored, all anxiety and fear subsided, and I was flush with happy juice all through my blood.

I showered Dr. Jin with a million thank you’s. I wanted to hug him. He was nice about it, smiled warmly, he’d been through this before many times.

“You should be fine,” he said, “but I still would like to take a few X-Rays just to make sure.”

“Absolutely Doc!” I said. I was so relieved that I looked forward to going to get the X-Ray. Wait a minute? Didn’t you say that you were fed up with the system and that all the precautionary tests were a waste of time?

This was different…

Dr. Jin took action immediately, he didn’t run me through the rigamarole before actually trusting his skills and applying them. He was pro-active, took the initiative and built trust first.

I was out of there in less than 45 minutes.

What I learned was this: Stress can only manifest when you are worried about a future event. Your mind loves to conjure the worst case scenario and if left unchecked, if you are unaware and positioned in a fixed mindset?—?only then can stress blossom.

I bet you can think of a million times before where your stress about a future event was proven unfounded, untrue, and worse than it actually was.

Winston Churchill, the great prime minister of Great Britain during World War II once said, “90% of the things that caused me distress were only imagined.”

Truer words were never spoken.

Remember this the next time you find yourself caught in the mind tsunami of stressful thoughts.

Try to adopt a growth mindset, a sort of “love of your fate” as Nietzsche said once, and recognize how your mind can create unwarranted distress.

It is in this recognition where the bonds of stress can begin to slacken, and the more you investigate your thoughts, question them, and eventually treat them with dispassion that true freedom can flower.

It’s never as bad as it seems. But don’t take my word for it. Investigate for yourself, and I would love your feedback.

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About the author:

Professor Nez is an author, speaker, and writing professor and can be connected with on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, LinkedIn, and check out his new live-stream show on YouTube called MINDSET LIVE.