What is Vigiling?

What is Vigiling?

‘While working in Aged Care I had the privilege of being present with a woman in her 103rd year. When I finished my shift, I was given permission to sit with this dear woman. I talked to her and sang and, as she drew near to death, I was stroking her throat and holding her hand.

I was very aware that over a hundred years ago someone’s hands bought her into the world and mine were now helping her to leave this amazingly long life.

I felt humbled and very honoured to have this privilege. It was a very emotional and spiritual moment for me.

I have been honoured to be with 7 people as they performed their last act as a Human Being. I believe no one should die alone.’

Loraine Fox

Vigiling is about being present during those last weeks, days, hours of someone’s life.?There is much evidence around to confirm that those passing can still hear us and feel our presence, even when we think they are not.

There are some who say that the person who has passed can still be ‘present’ with their bodies for up to 3 days.

What is the vigiling process?

It can be whatever the dying person wants it to be and will, to a large extent depend on the capacity of the person leaving us.

If they are sleeping or in a coma, or can’t speak for whatever reason, the person vigiling can read stories, poems, listen or play music, talk about treasured objects, people or events.

If they are well enough to share their stories, listening is very important.?Listen to, write down their stories, record their last wishes, if they haven’t already done so, or review them if they have.?Sing to them.?Record their voice.

‘Dying alone can encompass various ideas: dying with no one present, dying with medical staff in an Intensive Care Unit (ICU) but no family present, or dying with people nearby who fail to include the dying person or be attentive to him/her in some keyway, or who fail to notice the moment of death.’ source National Library of Medicine

It's not always possible for family members to reach their loved ones in time, or it might be that the process is prolonged, and the loved ones need to take a break.

This is where a non-medical End of Life Doula can fill the void.?With no other purpose than to be there for the dying, the End-of-Life Doula can focus on talking, touching (if appropriate), sharing and caring.

‘Dying is the final act someone does as a Human Being. It is both an honour and a privilege to be present at this scared moment.

An EOLD can pray with you, read to you, play music,?talk to you. If we have discussed rituals, they will be provided. It will be a sacred space.

I will reach out to your loved ones, with a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, a cup of tea, whatever they need in the first hours of their grieving.

If there is no available to be with you, I will be there with you,?at this very important time of you leaving your life.’ said Loraine

Loraine Fox and Desley Cowley are offering End of Life Doula services in Central Queensland.?Packages are available for a range of services starting with a free one-hour consultation to discuss your needs.

About Desley Cowley:

I will help you find the buried treasure within you:

• Back to Basics Bios
• Legacy & Life Review
• End of Life Doula Services

I help individuals, families and small business owners write their stories, express their wishes and capture their important memories and events, to leave a legacy for future generations.?

If you aren’t sure where to start, contact me for help. Group Corporate enquiries welcome.