What Is the Value of Kindness? How You Can Change the World One Gracious Act At a Time

We live in an era of significant digital, generational and geo-political disruption. Many of us wake every day and face real dangers from the outside world —an uncertain economy, difficulty feeding our families, pressures from the market, competitors who aim to steal our business and a pervasive feeling of distrust.  Predictably, people in every culture, from all socio-economic strata are re-examining the “purpose” of their lives.  They seek new ways to add meaning and value to society and to their nuclear circles.  They yearn to feel inspired, trusted, happy and fulfilled.  They are all motivated to action to fill a perceived gap left by governments, brands and “the establishment.”

While this may seem a daunting task, there are simple, small, easy things that every human can do to build an environment in which inspiration, trust, cooperation and transformation can thrive. Simon Sinek calls these "acts of kindness or gracious acts" and defines them as giving your time and energy with no expectation of anything in return. Kindness, like when we were children, is something we have to practice, recognize and reward. Great leaders understand the power of kindness. At great companies kindness and gracious acts are built into the culture. Get the environment wrong…cynicism, paranoia, mistrust and self-interest prevail. Get the environment right…trust, cooperation and success result.

I imagine a world in which every human commits to one small act of kindness every day. To that end herewith is an adaptation of our Guide to Gracious Acts designed to get people’s creative juices flowing and to demonstrate how easy it is to perform a gracious act every day. Practice these or come up with your own. I hope this post will catalyze some readers to undertake that journey.  What would the world look like if even 10% of us do?

Gracious Acts Self-Test

Ask yourself if these are true:

- I go out of my way to make others feel included.

- I say “thank you” in person to show sincere appreciation for the people I work with.

- I understand that small acts of kindness make work easier and more fun.

- I take time to get to know the people I work with – building trusted, genuine relationships.

What is a Gracious Act?

A gracious act is the giving of your time and energy with no expectation of anything in return. This voluntary act of service demonstrates appreciation, gratitude, kindness or empathy.  Merriam-Webster’s take:

Gracious: adjective | gr?-cious | \’gra-sh?s\

a) Marked by tact & delicacy b) Characterized by good taste, generosity of spirit

 Act: noun | \’akt

a) The doing of a thing  b) Something done voluntarily 

Benefits of Gracious Acts:

1. Increases the happiness of those around you — When we do nice things for others it makes them feel good and in return they do nice things for others too.

2. Improves your health- Graciousness at work can actually improve our health our happiness and the happiness of those around us — a 2008 study found that positive social interactions at work boosted the health of employees.

3. Increases your happiness-  Studies find that when people take part in acts of kindness for as little as 10 days they have higher levels of life satisfaction.

Gracious Acts Tips and Quotes

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” — Robert Brault

Hold the door open for people. Yes, believe it or not, that actually makes people feel good ... see, told you this was simple.

“Gratitude is more of a compliment to yourself than someone else.” — Raheel Farooq

Thanks a latte! Know each of your team members’ coffee preferences by heart. When you can, surprise them with a morning brew just like the way they like it.

We make a great pear. Make sure you invite your team to team lunch — real lunch — as often as you can.

“If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.” — Daniel Goleman

Call me old-fashioned. Write handwritten cards to say thank you to a client or team member. Be specific about what they did and the impact it had on you.

Eat an apple a day, but put that apple away. Pocket your cell phone when you’re talking with someone. Let them know they are your primary focus at that moment.

“If a fellow isn’t thankful for what he’s got, he isn’t likely to be thankful for what he’s going to get.”  — Frank A. Clark

Catch people doing things right. Let your teammates know they are doing a great job at work.

“The deepest craving of human nature is the need to be appreciated.” — William James

Horoscope of work. Collect teammates’ birth dates and do something special for each of them on their birthday.

“Things turn out best for people who make the best of the way things turn out." — John Wooden

Come in with a bang. Host a party and leave balloons on your teammates desk when they join the organization.

“When you show deep empathy toward others, their defensive energy goes down, and positive energy replaces it. That’s when you can get more creative in solving problems.”— Stephen Covey

“The Internet has given us the illusion of intimacy … But that illusion of intimacy is just that — an illusion. It distracts us from the important principle of reaching out to them personally first, and making the sometimes difficult effort of keeping it private and saving the relationship.” — Phil Cooke

Do ask, do tell. Show you care — regularly ask how your teammates are doing, and listen to their answer.

“A warm smile is the universal language of kindness.” — William Arthur Ward

Say cheese. Arrange for a team photo to hang on the wall.

“Remember there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.” — Scott Adams

Goooooal! Your teammate’s kid has a soccer game on Saturday? Remember to ask on Monday how it went!

“The way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement.” — Charles Schwab

Itchin’ for recognition? Thank a team member publicly for their effort.

“A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees.” — Amelia Earhart

Eat now, pay later. Pay for someone’s lunch every now and then.

“The level of our success is limited only by our imagination and no act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted.” — Aesop

It’s mine. Show your commitment to your team even in your language — say “my team” instead of “the team.”

“Entrepreneurs may be brutally honest, but fostering relationships with partners and building enduring communities requires empathy, self-sacrifice and a willingness to help others without expecting anything in return.”— Ben Parr

Pay it forward. When writing recognition emails, consider how it can be forwarded to a manager or supervisors to be used for annual reviews.

“Always be a little kinder than necessary.”— James M. Barrie

Show and tell. On a Monday morning meeting, ask the team how their weekend was.

Bean around the world? On a typically hard or stressful day take the team out for some fresh air and coffee.

“Transparency, honesty, kindness, good stewardship, even humor, work in businesses at all times.”— John Gerzema

Surprise and delight. Make a small donation to the charity a coworker is involved in.

Show others they're first. Put your cellphone away during meetings. (it's a subconscious reaction and it shows people that you care)

“Newly minted leaders should actually be focusing on likability first. While strength makes people feel they have to follow you, warmth makes employees want to follow you.”— Mary Viciello

Donut neglect the little things. Every now and then bring fresh pastries and croissants to work for your team to brighten up their day.

Mint condition. Leave a pack of gum on your desk from which anyone can take a piece — everyone wins!

“Gratitude is a currency that we can mint for ourselves, and spend without fear of bankruptcy.”— Fred De Witt Van Amburgh

Give thanks … live. Say thank you in person rather than at the end of an email — it’s very impactful!

“In life, one has a choice to take one of two paths: to wait for some special day —or to celebrate each special day.”— Rasheed Ogunlaru

Shoot for the C-suite. Offer to be your team’s “CEO” — chief entertainment officer — and help plan weekly dinners or other activities.

Team to win. Help your teammates even when they don't ask for it.

“Feeling gratitude, and not expressing it, is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”— William Arthur Ward

Sharing is caring. Consider who you may know who can mentor a new team member and help expand their network.

“You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.”— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Spinning is winning. Organize a team exercise class and get that endorphin rush!

“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously.”— Ralph Waldo Emerson

360-degree celebration. Say an encouraging word to your leader. It can get lonely up there!

“Keep your eyes open and try to catch people in your company doing something right, then praise them for it.”— Tom Hopkins

Bravo, peer to peer! Recognize teammates for being great teammates.

Get creative, use action figures, handmade certificates, your favorite candy to represent a fun award.

Teams are made at the dinner table. Invite your team for dinner at your house one night.

Extended family. Know the names and about the lives of your teammates.

“Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate.”— Albert Schweitzer

A picture says a thousand words. Create a team photo roll. A place for people to share what's happening inside and outside of work. It keeps everyone in the loop in an effortless way.

“Choosing to be positive and having a grateful attitude is going to determine how you’re going to live life” — Joel Osteen

No place I’d rather be. Buy a lottery ticket for the team and talk about what everyone would do if they won.

Check in. Stop by the office or call a teammate just to check in. No shop talk, just make sure they're doing okay.

“No duty is more urgent than that of returning thanks.”— James Allen

Free day. Cancel that Friday afternoon meeting and let your team leave an hour early.

Real world experience. Offer to let a newcomer “shadow” you for a day or a week to get their feet wet.

You can sit with us. Invite new hires to sit with you and your team at lunch.

“Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you.”— Princess Diana

Surprise and delight. Share unsolicited, positive feedback about a colleague with their manager.

Gracious End Notes  and Action Items

 1. Write down your favorite tips from this guide.

2. List some of the behaviors you want to start practicing yourself.