What is the ultimate goal of marriage?

I overheard a conversation where a man discussed divorce statistics among different groups. He essentially used divorce as an indicator of success in marriage and asserted that one group outperformed the other based on divorce rates alone. This made me think: What truly defines marriage?

Growing up, we always spoke about divorce in a negative light, heavily influenced by the opinions of most religious beliefs. It's as if a couple's mere continuation in marriage is deemed a success. I see it differently. Let me explain.

I believe divorce is not as damaging as portrayed. I would dare to say that divorce is a positive thing. Yeah, I know it doesn't sound great, but follow my thoughts on this.

It all goes back to what success in marriage means. If you want to think about this generally, you can't conclude. Any relationship between two or more people is complex and unique to the individuals involved. Culture and religion influence our expectations of any relationship, but individuals are the custodians of the matter.

What two people view as success in a relationship may defy expectations, and that's okay.

I believe the overall purpose of any relationship should be about the well-being of the people involved, including marriage. Childbearing and the welfare of children are vital aspects of most marriages, but even these rely on the well-being of the parents. All functions of marriage hinge on the well-being of the people involved.

So, the foremost ideal of any marriage should be the well-being of the partners, as everything else hinges on this.

This brings us back to the issue of divorce. Suppose at any point, one or all partners feel that the union is detrimental to their well-being, that their interests in the union are no longer met, and there is no way of fixing it. In that case, divorce becomes the only meaningful and healthy step.

Without divorce, marriage can easily turn into a prison, worse than a nightmare. I do hear people say, "I am staying for the kids." It may sound good, but when you think about it, it breaks down.

Partners feeling trapped in their marriage can have an overall negative impact on their kids. I believe kids are better off with two separate but happy parents than two unhappy individuals living together.

Many marriages are worse than hell for one or both partners, yet they stay together for some reason mostly religious, cultural or economic reasons. This causes stress for all parties involved and can easily result in various chronic diseases. I know we don't talk about mental health enough, but it's about time we do.

No married person will divorce simply because they are too happy in their marriage. Most divorces result from difficult circumstances and a lack of well-being by one or all partners involved, manifesting in various forms. This is why divorce should be seen as a positive thing.

Continuity of marriage is not a measure of its success, but the overall well-being of all parties involved.

In conclusion, even though you may not marry with the intention of getting divorced, it is important to know that divorce is a real and viable option. Knowing this will make you think more positively about your relationship, understanding that even if it doesn't go well, it is not the end of the world. It is not a prison sentence; if it becomes unhealthy, you can annul it, and that is okay. Any relationship measured on permanence alone is toxic. Healthy relationships are based on willful and conscious participation. This is what divorce brings to the table of marriage."